"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Some great comebacks!

P

PeterCrouch

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>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
> >Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
> >Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!
> >
> > Man: Is this seat empty?
> > Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
> > Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet
> >
> > Man: Your place or mine?
> > Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
> > Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of > mycar, I don't give a sh*t where you go.
> >
> > Man: So, what do you do for a living?
> > Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
> > Man: That explains the moustache then!
> >
> > (CLASSIC!!!!)
> > Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
> > Woman: Unfertilised.
> > Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ars*.
> >
> > Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
> > Woman: But would you stay there?
> > Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is >

>impossible to shake off once you've been sha*ged.
> >
> > Man: Would you like to dance?
> > Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
> > Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants
> >
> > Man: Where have you been all my life?
> > Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
> > Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad >

>watches.
> >
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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T

thefonz

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Very very funny

My fav. is #1
 
T

transporter

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Originally posted by silverwex
Are you serious?!

Do you guys actually use this stuff? :eek:
Click to expand...
Are YOU serious?

Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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LOL!!:crackup:
 
S

silverwex

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Are YOU serious? Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
Click to expand...
I have a great sense of humour - i actually thought the guy was serious.

Scary thing is - some guys on this site might actually use these lines thinking they'll work...
 
A

AudiTy

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lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
 
M

Microphone Fiend

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Originally posted by AudiTy
lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
Click to expand...
yup

I liked #1 the most
 
D

DJ_in_making

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I'm so printing that crap out! :crackup: It made me freakin' laugh
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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D

diablo

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Originally posted by PeterCrouch
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
Click to expand...
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
 
C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Re: Re: Some great comebacks!

Originally posted by diablo
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
Click to expand...
I take it ur bored diablo?:D


Laterz...
 
S

Scrumtulescence

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The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
 
D

Dimebag_Darrell

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I've never found written comebacks funny. EVER. I dont know why. I've gotta hear the emphasis used and in context for it to be funny. This sh*t aint funny.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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T

thefonz

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BUMP.....good for a laugh

lighten up *****es
 
S

ShizamDaMan

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Quick f*cking around and just sock her one in the eye.

A real Don Juan shows, not tells :)
 
W

wunnaBsmooth

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I'm laughin'

That is the best rephrasing of a post yet! ------lol

Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
Click to expand...
 
W

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
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Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut

So brutal, so great. So ridiculously obnoxious.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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