"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Some great comebacks!

P

PeterCrouch

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>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
> >Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
> >Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!
> >
> > Man: Is this seat empty?
> > Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
> > Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet
> >
> > Man: Your place or mine?
> > Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
> > Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of > mycar, I don't give a sh*t where you go.
> >
> > Man: So, what do you do for a living?
> > Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
> > Man: That explains the moustache then!
> >
> > (CLASSIC!!!!)
> > Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
> > Woman: Unfertilised.
> > Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ars*.
> >
> > Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
> > Woman: But would you stay there?
> > Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is >

>impossible to shake off once you've been sha*ged.
> >
> > Man: Would you like to dance?
> > Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
> > Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants
> >
> > Man: Where have you been all my life?
> > Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
> > Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad >

>watches.
> >
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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T

thefonz

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Very very funny

My fav. is #1
 
T

transporter

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Originally posted by silverwex
Are you serious?!

Do you guys actually use this stuff? :eek:
Click to expand...
Are YOU serious?

Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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LOL!!:crackup:
 
S

silverwex

Master Don Juan
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Are YOU serious? Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
Click to expand...
I have a great sense of humour - i actually thought the guy was serious.

Scary thing is - some guys on this site might actually use these lines thinking they'll work...
 
A

AudiTy

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lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
 
M

Microphone Fiend

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Originally posted by AudiTy
lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
Click to expand...
yup

I liked #1 the most
 
D

DJ_in_making

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I'm so printing that crap out! :crackup: It made me freakin' laugh
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

D

diablo

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Originally posted by PeterCrouch
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
Click to expand...
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
 
C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Re: Re: Some great comebacks!

Originally posted by diablo
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
Click to expand...
I take it ur bored diablo?:D


Laterz...
 
S

Scrumtulescence

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The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
 
D

Dimebag_Darrell

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I've never found written comebacks funny. EVER. I dont know why. I've gotta hear the emphasis used and in context for it to be funny. This sh*t aint funny.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

T

thefonz

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BUMP.....good for a laugh

lighten up *****es
 
S

ShizamDaMan

Master Don Juan
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Quick f*cking around and just sock her one in the eye.

A real Don Juan shows, not tells :)
 
W

wunnaBsmooth

Don Juan
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Ohio
I'm laughin'

That is the best rephrasing of a post yet! ------lol

Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
Click to expand...
 
W

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
Joined
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WA
Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut

So brutal, so great. So ridiculously obnoxious.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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