"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Some great comebacks!

P

PeterCrouch

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>Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
> >Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
> >Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!
> >
> > Man: Is this seat empty?
> > Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
> > Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet
> >
> > Man: Your place or mine?
> > Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
> > Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of > mycar, I don't give a sh*t where you go.
> >
> > Man: So, what do you do for a living?
> > Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
> > Man: That explains the moustache then!
> >
> > (CLASSIC!!!!)
> > Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
> > Woman: Unfertilised.
> > Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ars*.
> >
> > Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
> > Woman: But would you stay there?
> > Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is >

>impossible to shake off once you've been sha*ged.
> >
> > Man: Would you like to dance?
> > Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
> > Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants
> >
> > Man: Where have you been all my life?
> > Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
> > Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad >

>watches.
> >
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

T

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Very very funny

My fav. is #1
 
T

transporter

Don Juan
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upstate NY
Originally posted by silverwex
Are you serious?!

Do you guys actually use this stuff? :eek:
Click to expand...
Are YOU serious?

Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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LOL!!:crackup:
 
S

silverwex

Master Don Juan
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Eire
Are YOU serious? Astonishing the number of guys on this site who have absolutely no sense of humor.
Click to expand...
I have a great sense of humour - i actually thought the guy was serious.

Scary thing is - some guys on this site might actually use these lines thinking they'll work...
 
A

AudiTy

Don Juan
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lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
 
M

Microphone Fiend

Master Don Juan
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Where I be at
Originally posted by AudiTy
lol those were damn funny.

Why would anyone think they would 'work' to pick up girls though?

These are INSULTS!!!

Obviously the only reason you would use them is to have yourself some fun at her expense after she blatently shot you down, not try and make her feel attraction for you...
Click to expand...
yup

I liked #1 the most
 
D

DJ_in_making

Master Don Juan
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Big Ole apple
I'm so printing that crap out! :crackup: It made me freakin' laugh
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

D

diablo

Master Don Juan
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Louisiana, USA
Originally posted by PeterCrouch
> > Man: You're pretty
> > Woman: Piss off.
> > Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat b*tch.
Click to expand...
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
 
C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Re: Re: Some great comebacks!

Originally posted by diablo
From the language (Piss off.) I'm assuming this was spoken by a Brit to a Brit.

To quote "Family Guy" - Lois Griffin specifically, "The British are a lovely people. Not physically, of course, but inside.".

Because of this, I know that the first comment from the man... "You're pretty"... is actually a lie.
Click to expand...
I take it ur bored diablo?:D


Laterz...
 
S

Scrumtulescence

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Inyurvij Eina
The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
 
D

Dimebag_Darrell

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Nodferatu's Lair
I've never found written comebacks funny. EVER. I dont know why. I've gotta hear the emphasis used and in context for it to be funny. This sh*t aint funny.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

T

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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BUMP.....good for a laugh

lighten up *****es
 
S

ShizamDaMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2003
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Quick f*cking around and just sock her one in the eye.

A real Don Juan shows, not tells :)
 
W

wunnaBsmooth

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2005
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Ohio
I'm laughin'

That is the best rephrasing of a post yet! ------lol

Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
The new and improved version, just for the DJ crowd!


Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut!

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Good, I don't want to sit next to a fat slut!

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: What, did you think I wanted to go home with a fat slut?

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: More like a fat slut impersonator.
(CLASSIC!!!!)

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: That must be hard, being a fat slut.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably. Anything to get away from a fat slut.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shag*ing your mum while your dad watches. She's a real fat slut.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty...fat, for a slut.
Click to expand...
 
W

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
1,514
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Location
WA
Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look like a fat slut

So brutal, so great. So ridiculously obnoxious.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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