"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
So when they dump emotions on you
- Thread starter saturos
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
You don't have to like it, or even absorb it. But at least appear somewhat attentive.
Good Luck!
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
When the issue comes up, make yourself unavailable (i.e. I need to go to an appointment, take care of somethings, make a phone call, etc etc).
Or if you are in person with her, tactfully change the topic.
With time she will get the pattern and likely not even waste time by mentioning it to you anymore.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2008
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 4
Don't sit there and help her through her problems, that's not your job. You are not an emotional tampon, that's what her friends are for. Sitting there and comforting her and working through her problems is a great way to get into the friendzone. If you arent looking to get there, don't let it happen.
Of course, don't be a d*ck about it. Don't say something like "I don't care".
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
"I'd love to listen to your problems, but I'm busy right now. I'll let you know when I'm free though."
Then go back to doing whatever you were doing even if its sitting on ur ass and if she keeps asking just be like "im busy."
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You are supposed to entertain her and keep her busy enough so she doesn't even think about dumping her emotions on you.saturos said:
She can't dump her emotions on you while you are salsa dancing with her , cooking with her, learning French with her, having sex with her.
Miguel
Don Juan
What? no, thats wrong. Lol, man I think theres a difference between being an emotional tampon and an *******, if she's like "my dad died", you listen to her... But if she's like "Friends are stupid, bleh bleh bleh..." Then thats gunna get you no where closer to getting in her pants. Theres a difference between sesitivity and being a sop blanket.Interceptor said:I think these are FANTASTIC ways of remaining totally uninvolved, aloof,and detached with women, and make damn sure these women KNOW you are NOT interested in THEM. These are exactly the things to do when you dont want a GF or an intimate LTR.
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
Igetit!
Moderator
DonJuan11 said:
Bingo!! DonJuan11 is 100% right. The thing you want to do is generate chemistry in her,make her feel alive,feminine,feel like a woman. If you do this,then whenever she is with you,she'll completely forget about whatever the problems were in her life that made her want to "dump her emotions" on you. This is going to sound stupid,but I promise that it is true. I honestly believe that women would rather be distracted from a problem than have the problem solved. If a woman has some sort of a emotional problem,and you try to help her solve the problem,she'll make YOU the problem. That is,she'll associate you with the problem. In other words,whenever she thinks about the problem,she'll think about you,and whenever she thinks you,she think about the problems. Therefore the negative emotions she gets from her problems,she'll now get them from you.
I've said this maybe three or four times on this forum,but it bears repeating again here. If there were a "Top Ten" list of things never to do with a woman you're interested in,this ranks #2,which is,"Being a woman's therapist".
If she starts dumping on you,and you get sucked into it,that means that she has the stronger frame.
So quite simply,change the subject.
Miguel
Don Juan
But seriously, neat idea, I never thought of it that way.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.