"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
So when they dump emotions on you
- Thread starter saturos
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
You don't have to like it, or even absorb it. But at least appear somewhat attentive.
Good Luck!
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
When the issue comes up, make yourself unavailable (i.e. I need to go to an appointment, take care of somethings, make a phone call, etc etc).
Or if you are in person with her, tactfully change the topic.
With time she will get the pattern and likely not even waste time by mentioning it to you anymore.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2008
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 4
Don't sit there and help her through her problems, that's not your job. You are not an emotional tampon, that's what her friends are for. Sitting there and comforting her and working through her problems is a great way to get into the friendzone. If you arent looking to get there, don't let it happen.
Of course, don't be a d*ck about it. Don't say something like "I don't care".
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
"I'd love to listen to your problems, but I'm busy right now. I'll let you know when I'm free though."
Then go back to doing whatever you were doing even if its sitting on ur ass and if she keeps asking just be like "im busy."
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You are supposed to entertain her and keep her busy enough so she doesn't even think about dumping her emotions on you.saturos said:
She can't dump her emotions on you while you are salsa dancing with her , cooking with her, learning French with her, having sex with her.
Miguel
Don Juan
What? no, thats wrong. Lol, man I think theres a difference between being an emotional tampon and an *******, if she's like "my dad died", you listen to her... But if she's like "Friends are stupid, bleh bleh bleh..." Then thats gunna get you no where closer to getting in her pants. Theres a difference between sesitivity and being a sop blanket.Interceptor said:I think these are FANTASTIC ways of remaining totally uninvolved, aloof,and detached with women, and make damn sure these women KNOW you are NOT interested in THEM. These are exactly the things to do when you dont want a GF or an intimate LTR.
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
Igetit!
Moderator
DonJuan11 said:
Bingo!! DonJuan11 is 100% right. The thing you want to do is generate chemistry in her,make her feel alive,feminine,feel like a woman. If you do this,then whenever she is with you,she'll completely forget about whatever the problems were in her life that made her want to "dump her emotions" on you. This is going to sound stupid,but I promise that it is true. I honestly believe that women would rather be distracted from a problem than have the problem solved. If a woman has some sort of a emotional problem,and you try to help her solve the problem,she'll make YOU the problem. That is,she'll associate you with the problem. In other words,whenever she thinks about the problem,she'll think about you,and whenever she thinks you,she think about the problems. Therefore the negative emotions she gets from her problems,she'll now get them from you.
I've said this maybe three or four times on this forum,but it bears repeating again here. If there were a "Top Ten" list of things never to do with a woman you're interested in,this ranks #2,which is,"Being a woman's therapist".
If she starts dumping on you,and you get sucked into it,that means that she has the stronger frame.
So quite simply,change the subject.
Miguel
Don Juan
But seriously, neat idea, I never thought of it that way.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.