So when they dump emotions on you

[saturos]

If you aren't supposed to suck it up, then what are you supposed to do?

 

[Relationship-Buddy]

Take it like a man.

You don't have to like it, or even absorb it. But at least appear somewhat attentive.

Good Luck!

 

[saturos]

No, i meant that the general advice is to not be her emotional shoulder.
So what are you supposed to do if you aren't supposed to comfort her?

 

[Relationship-Buddy]

Easy...

When the issue comes up, make yourself unavailable (i.e. I need to go to an appointment, take care of somethings, make a phone call, etc etc).

Or if you are in person with her, tactfully change the topic.


With time she will get the pattern and likely not even waste time by mentioning it to you anymore.

 

[saturos]

Can i get an example on how to "tactfully" change the subject?
I'm really not feeling it without coming off as an *******.

 

[WalkingStick]

It seems like you're giving two seperate views here, Relationship Buddy. The second post is spot on, but the first one not so much.

Don't sit there and help her through her problems, that's not your job. You are not an emotional tampon, that's what her friends are for. Sitting there and comforting her and working through her problems is a great way to get into the friendzone. If you arent looking to get there, don't let it happen.

Of course, don't be a d*ck about it. Don't say something like "I don't care".

 

[Desert Fox]

Usually whenever they try to do this I tell them I gotta run because my favorite infomercial is about to start. They usually get the hint.

 

[saturos]

During school, in class. There's nowhere to run, as i sit next to her. >.>

 

[Desert Fox]

Then say this:

"I'd love to listen to your problems, but I'm busy right now. I'll let you know when I'm free though."

Then go back to doing whatever you were doing even if its sitting on ur ass and if she keeps asking just be like "im busy."

 

[Interceptor]

I think these are FANTASTIC ways of remaining totally uninvolved, aloof,and detached with women, and make damn sure these women KNOW you are NOT interested in THEM. These are exactly the things to do when you dont want a GF or an intimate LTR.
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.

 

[DonJuan11]

If you aren't supposed to suck it up, then what are you supposed to do?

You are supposed to entertain her and keep her busy enough so she doesn't even think about dumping her emotions on you.

She can't dump her emotions on you while you are salsa dancing with her , cooking with her, learning French with her, having sex with her.

 

[Miguel]

I think these are FANTASTIC ways of remaining totally uninvolved, aloof,and detached with women, and make damn sure these women KNOW you are NOT interested in THEM. These are exactly the things to do when you dont want a GF or an intimate LTR.
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.

What? no, thats wrong. Lol, man I think theres a difference between being an emotional tampon and an *******, if she's like "my dad died", you listen to her... But if she's like "Friends are stupid, bleh bleh bleh..." Then thats gunna get you no where closer to getting in her pants. Theres a difference between sesitivity and being a sop blanket.

 

[Igetit!]

You are supposed to entertain her and keep her busy enough so she doesn't even think about dumping her emotions on you.

She can't dump her emotions on you while you are salsa dancing with her , cooking with her, learning French with her, having sex with her.

Bingo!! DonJuan11 is 100% right. The thing you want to do is generate chemistry in her,make her feel alive,feminine,feel like a woman. If you do this,then whenever she is with you,she'll completely forget about whatever the problems were in her life that made her want to "dump her emotions" on you. This is going to sound stupid,but I promise that it is true. I honestly believe that women would rather be distracted from a problem than have the problem solved. If a woman has some sort of a emotional problem,and you try to help her solve the problem,she'll make YOU the problem. That is,she'll associate you with the problem. In other words,whenever she thinks about the problem,she'll think about you,and whenever she thinks you,she think about the problems. Therefore the negative emotions she gets from her problems,she'll now get them from you.


I've said this maybe three or four times on this forum,but it bears repeating again here. If there were a "Top Ten" list of things never to do with a woman you're interested in,this ranks #2,which is,"Being a woman's therapist".

If she starts dumping on you,and you get sucked into it,that means that she has the stronger frame.

So quite simply,change the subject.

 

[Miguel]

Holy crap, never thought of it that way. *bows in awe* You sir win a internetz. (aka nice explaining.)

But seriously, neat idea, I never thought of it that way.

 

[kingman]

Listen and you say for the mostly : I understand ( Have tried it) It works