"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
So when they dump emotions on you
- Thread starter saturos
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
You don't have to like it, or even absorb it. But at least appear somewhat attentive.
Good Luck!
Relationship-Buddy
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2008
- Messages
- 102
- Reaction score
- 2
When the issue comes up, make yourself unavailable (i.e. I need to go to an appointment, take care of somethings, make a phone call, etc etc).
Or if you are in person with her, tactfully change the topic.
With time she will get the pattern and likely not even waste time by mentioning it to you anymore.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2008
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 4
Don't sit there and help her through her problems, that's not your job. You are not an emotional tampon, that's what her friends are for. Sitting there and comforting her and working through her problems is a great way to get into the friendzone. If you arent looking to get there, don't let it happen.
Of course, don't be a d*ck about it. Don't say something like "I don't care".
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
Desert Fox
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2008
- Messages
- 786
- Reaction score
- 22
"I'd love to listen to your problems, but I'm busy right now. I'll let you know when I'm free though."
Then go back to doing whatever you were doing even if its sitting on ur ass and if she keeps asking just be like "im busy."
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You are supposed to entertain her and keep her busy enough so she doesn't even think about dumping her emotions on you.saturos said:
She can't dump her emotions on you while you are salsa dancing with her , cooking with her, learning French with her, having sex with her.
Miguel
Don Juan
What? no, thats wrong. Lol, man I think theres a difference between being an emotional tampon and an *******, if she's like "my dad died", you listen to her... But if she's like "Friends are stupid, bleh bleh bleh..." Then thats gunna get you no where closer to getting in her pants. Theres a difference between sesitivity and being a sop blanket.Interceptor said:I think these are FANTASTIC ways of remaining totally uninvolved, aloof,and detached with women, and make damn sure these women KNOW you are NOT interested in THEM. These are exactly the things to do when you dont want a GF or an intimate LTR.
We all know that women truly love and appreciate emotional bonds and intimacy, so if you can avoid giving them what they need, they can leave you the fvck alone.
Igetit!
Moderator
DonJuan11 said:
Bingo!! DonJuan11 is 100% right. The thing you want to do is generate chemistry in her,make her feel alive,feminine,feel like a woman. If you do this,then whenever she is with you,she'll completely forget about whatever the problems were in her life that made her want to "dump her emotions" on you. This is going to sound stupid,but I promise that it is true. I honestly believe that women would rather be distracted from a problem than have the problem solved. If a woman has some sort of a emotional problem,and you try to help her solve the problem,she'll make YOU the problem. That is,she'll associate you with the problem. In other words,whenever she thinks about the problem,she'll think about you,and whenever she thinks you,she think about the problems. Therefore the negative emotions she gets from her problems,she'll now get them from you.
I've said this maybe three or four times on this forum,but it bears repeating again here. If there were a "Top Ten" list of things never to do with a woman you're interested in,this ranks #2,which is,"Being a woman's therapist".
If she starts dumping on you,and you get sucked into it,that means that she has the stronger frame.
So quite simply,change the subject.
Miguel
Don Juan
But seriously, neat idea, I never thought of it that way.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.