So I was a rebound

.Paradox.

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Nothing worse than the freeze out. I’ve been there brother. We’d just come back from a trip to the mountains, that was the last time I saw her ever. The freeze out began right after that and luckily I knew what was going on and didn’t make a fool out of myself. Looking back now, we’d hungout 2 days before our trip and ran some errands and I saw some red flags that her mind was elsewhere but nothing to be alarmed about. The confusing thing is the weekend before we’d had a blast together, HOWEVER, her ex did text her while we were hanging out saying he was moving back in several months and wanted to give her her stuff back. The signs didn’t show at all that weekend it happened but I’m guessing that was the writig on the wall but I don’t know if they got back together or not. Like I said, we never officially broke up we just froze each other out. I tried to set up some dates after our trip but she never would give me a concrete answer when before she was a plan maker all the way. Now she couldn’t set a date to save her life all of a sudden, NOT the girl I knew for 6 months at all.

That girl ripped my heart out and doesn’t even know it. It was a hard kick to the gut cause I really clicked with her and the fun was always there and then bam, it was over out if nowhere and I didn’t see it coming and I still have no answers to this day. Will she ever come back? I hope not. I played it to where she could if she wanted to since I mirrored her freeze out and did the same to her by not contacting her anymore and we just left it at that.
Jesus. That's seriously some BS. And the worst part is there's almost never any real closure. People just have a change of heart out of nowhere and it's over even quicker than it began. I really do wish that I could flip a switch a totally turn off my emotions, or sex drive, or both. It just seems like all this dating and relationship BS is more trouble than it's worth.
 

Robert28

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Jesus. That's seriously some BS. And the worst part is there's almost never any real closure. People just have a change of heart out of nowhere and it's over even quicker than it began. I really do wish that I could flip a switch a totally turn off my emotions, or sex drive, or both. It just seems like all this dating and relationship BS is more trouble than it's worth.
Welcome to 3rd wave feminism and selling “something better is just around the corner!”. I looked at it this way, she’d dated her ex for a year, she dated me for just shy of 6 months....if she could walk away from me that easily after all that time then I didn’t develop the bond with her I thought I had. Felt like I did but the fact that it ended so fast told me I didn’t. And women wonder why guys don’t want to commit to relationships, it’s **** like that experience is why.
 

billtx49

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Well, it’s an important example for everyone. If she’s fresh out of a serious relationship, she needs more time, 6 months to a year usually until she’s emotionally available again.
If she’s fresh out, it all seems good with the instant sex and her emotional expressions, etc., but it’s all a show for you and an emotional wound healer for her. Nothing more than that…
 

Robert28

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Well, it’s an important example for everyone. If she’s fresh out of a serious relationship, she needs more time, 6 months to a year usually until she’s emotionally available again.
If she’s fresh out, it all seems good with the instant sex and her emotional expressions, etc., but it’s all a show for you and a wound healer for her. Nothing more…
The problem is women won’t give themselves time to get over those long relationships. If that hadn’t happened to me it would have happened to someone else. They also never come right out and tell you the whole story about that relationship they are getting over, you get bits and pieces here and there. I met this girl 2 months after her breakup and it was a good month before I even knew she’d just gotten out of something that serious. It was 3 months before I learned she’s been engaged to him.lol
 

.Paradox.

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Alright dawg, you need to get this outta your system, so lemme ask you a question. What’d you all do on your dates? Other than what you mentioned.
On the first date she was going to come over because she insisted on me trying these "white claw" drinks with her. Before the date she texted me saying she was nervous about coming over and asked if I'd meet her out. I agreed, but she ended up changing her mind and just coming straight over with the drinks. This was essentially a "netflix & chill" kinda date, but we also got to know each other a fair bit. The next day she was hitting me up saying how she was glad she came over, how she wanted more of me as soon as possible, and even that she was masturbating multiple times thinking about our night. And if you're wondering, yes, I reciprocated the sexting.

Monday and Tuesday we were in touch and decided that I'd come see her Thursday. Lots of excitement and blah blah from her on Thursday about seeing me. One thing that stood out was a text from her saying "wanna get drinks or food or anything tonight? Or are you just trying to come over and bust a nut?" I told her I'm down to grab dinner and she said "yayyyy." We went out for dinner, which was fun, and she insisted on paying since I drove to her. I kept telling her I'd pay but she really insisted and I settled for paying the tip. Went back to her place, talked, cuddled, had sex, the usual, etc... I didn't leave till after 1am, and even went BACK to her place after leaving to kill a spider for her lmao (I'm serious). Left again and she was texting me saying I was her hero, I'm the perfect amount of dominant, she loves when I prop her ass up and spank her, I turn her on like crazy, saying we have amazing sexual chemistry, and how she wanted more of me.

She texted me the next morning (Friday) and we bantered throughout the day. Saturday she initiated contact with me again and we chatted and set up a date for Sunday. It actually seemed like after our second date she was getting MORE interested in me. I mean, you don't initiate texts two days in a row with someone, calling them "daddy" and telling them how much they turn you on, if you don't "vibe" with them, do you? Anyways, Sunday I took her out in my area for dinner. I paid but she insisted on paying the tip. One thing she said that stood out was something about feeling nervous or uneasy, but as I remember she said it was like a "butterflies" feeling, which I actually thought was a positive thing. And something else that was a bit of a red flag... She told me she got married when she was 19 (she's 25 now) to a guy in the military after a MONTH of dating because the military was making him move out of state (just like her latest ex), then after a short time he cheated on her and it ended. But moving on... We went back to my place, we had sex, but she didn't seem as into it as the two previous dates because, in her words, she was getting her period soon. She actually initially said she didn't want to have sex, and after like 10 mins told me she wanted me to cvm (signaling to me that she wasn't about it that night). If I'm being honest, I kind of feel like pushing her for sex that night was the wrong move. After she left she texted me saying she was home, thanked me for dinner and said it was a fun night. No contact on Monday.

And that leads to the OP...
 
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billtx49

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The problem is women won’t give themselves time to get over those long relationships. If that hadn’t happened to me it would have happened to someone else. They also never come right out and tell you the whole story about that relationship they are getting over, you get bits and pieces here and there. I met this girl 2 months after her breakup and it was a good month before I even knew she’d just gotten out of something that serious. It was 3 months before I learned she’s been engaged to him.lol
I guess that’s why her past is the main screening process focus and her recent past should be looked into first…
 

Robert28

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I guess that’s why her past is the main screening process focus…
They know this though, that’s why they trickle it out but by bit to get you invested first so that you CANT drop them based on their past.

Ain’t many men that can see a girl constantly for 1 sometimes 2-3 days a week for months and not become invested. Abundance and all but eventually one girl is going to beat out those others. Unless you’re a sociopath it’s almost impossible.
 

AJ84

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You said her relationship ended because he moved away? Was that the only reason why it ended?
 

stringpuller

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Which wouldn't usually be any kind of a problem, but ironically, I actually started to really like the girl--like, was planning on saying we should be exclusive. I'm digging this point in, because I'm extremely picky and almost never date seriously because of it. I legit haven't even thought of "wifeing up" a girl in over 8 years.

We saw each other three times and I thought had a great time each date. And yes, we had sex (every date). After the first two dates she made her interest in me very obvious via texts. She was initiating conversations quite a bit and we were texting frequently throughout the week.

Anyways, I'll get right to it... Tuesday I texted her saying I was thinking about her, she asked "about what", I told her "cuddling up next to you, wrapping my arms around you and kissing your neck." She said it "sounds lovely", then I told her I wanted to see her again soon--no response. As stupid as this sounds, I KNEW something was up right there just comparing it to her past behavior. So today I texted her...

ME: *name*, I know what we need...
HER: What's that?
ME: Another white claw night, but this time we drink them all.
HER: Listen I really enjoyed our time together but I feel like we didn't really vibe on a non-sexual level so I'm not sure I want to see you again. And I'm not just looking for casual sex with anyone.

Sh!t stung. Another issue with her is that she's just getting out of a relationship from 1-2 months ago, where the guy moved to another part of the country so they had to break up.

So yeah, that sucked ass.
You lost all leverage with this chic. She broke it off. Harsh like too. Somethings off bigtime and i like how these posts always seem to start off with a big justification like OP never does these things or has the ultimate choice and game.
Before you even text her you were already in a needy state and your not saying what that was. The fact that she's pointing to a non sexual connection tells me that something was off in the bedroom.
 

Poonani Maker

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Knowing this forum I'm gonna get sh!t for this and called a pvssy and a b!tch, but whatever... God I just feel... BAD. This is ridiculous. Literally from the time we first met to our last date was a measly 8 days... 8 DAYS, and we were only talking, in total, for like 2 weeks. Yet I'm feeling so sh!tty you'd think we were dating for months. I don't know how or why I caught feelings so strongly so fast. This never happens with me--the only other time I can remember feeling this bad is 8 years ago when I had to breakup with a girl I was dating for 6 months.

I had actually gone on two dates with another girl (who's currently on vacation) right before I met the one in the OP and didn't even catch a whiff of feelings. And talking to other girls on dating apps right now is just making me feel worse. I actually feel just as bad or worse than when she "dumped" me Friday. Holy sh!t what is wrong with me... I'm not new to all this. I've been rejected hundreds if not thousands of times, I've dated/fvcked a LOT of girls, and I have literally never got attached this strongly in such a short period of time.

I'm actually starting to think that I've been mildly depressed for a while now, and being used and sh!t on by someone I legitimately liked has compounded it. Either that or I'm not used to meeting women who I actually like.
I know how ya feel man, no matter how many girls afterward (even right afterward) you fvck, you still can't (well, you can if you think hard) grasp why she turned on a DIME when while in bed she was talking about for Life being together. It was an infinity feeling you both got, a far-reaching feeling and/or vision of "this person is for you."
 

.Paradox.

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You lost all leverage with this chic. She broke it off. Harsh like too. Somethings off bigtime and i like how these posts always seem to start off with a big justification like OP never does these things or has the ultimate choice and game.
Before you even text her you were already in a needy state and your not saying what that was. The fact that she's pointing to a non sexual connection tells me that something was off in the bedroom.
What do you mean? Honestly I can pull all two weeks of texts and message them to you if you really want to analyze them. I wasn't in a needy state until after she rejected me. I was comfortable and wasn't worried about losing her at all until Tuesday, which was after our last date. Between the first, second and third date I legit thought I "had" her and was actually worried that I might end up ultimately hurting her. And the sappy texts in the OP that I sent her Tuesday (I wanna cuddle up next to you, etc., I want to see you again soon, etc.) weren't coming from a place of neediness--I had sent her sh!t like that previously and there were no issues.

I've thought about literally everything and it's just fvcking me up worse and worse. Did I do something in bed? Did I not do something? Did she not like my house/car/haircut/voice? Did I say something wrong or not say something I should have? Did I tell her too much about me or not enough? Did the pimple on my ass freak her out? I'm not even kidding. I've thought about all these absolutely ridiculous things, and the worst part is, all the over-analyzation in the fvcking world won't even give me the faintest idea what truly made her lose interest. For all I know, she might not even know the reason herself.

And you know what else? In trying to make myself feel better, I invited an old fvck buddy over tonight who's only in town another couple days. Half-way to my place I had to tell her not to come and to go back home because out of nowhere I started feeling fvcking horrible. And I go on these dating apps and swipe girls but all I'm doing is saying "not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*" and it makes me feel worse. The hottest woman in the world could show up in my life right now and I'd still feel like ****. This is probably the most, or close to the most, emotionally weak and pathetic I've ever felt. At least the last time I felt like this it was because I was young, dumb, and got sh!t on by someone I had been seeing for 6 months.
 

Robert28

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Oh you’ll get **** on by women no matter what age you are. You can learn a lesson from this one but most likely you’ll never encounter another woman like her or a situation like this, and that’s a good thing! I’m hoping I never ever meet another woman or situation like I mentioned in the post I made above. If I do then hang me now.lol

As for text messages that might have turned her off. Maybe, I dunno. No one really knows. I was dating this girl seriously and our texting was fine. Then when she was freezing me out days after our trip, she made a comment about some interview she had. It happened to be on my birthday so I said “cool I’ll use my wish for good luck for you.lol”. She comes back “don’t waste a wish on me”. The fvck? How do you respond to that? Asked her what she meant and she says “idk”. So I left it at that and let her feeeze me out for good. Stopped trying at that moment.
 

stringpuller

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What do you mean? Honestly I can pull all two weeks of texts and message them to you if you really want to analyze them. I wasn't in a needy state until after she rejected me. I was comfortable and wasn't worried about losing her at all until Tuesday, which was after our last date. Between the first, second and third date I legit thought I "had" her and was actually worried that I might end up ultimately hurting her. And the sappy texts in the OP that I sent her Tuesday (I wanna cuddle up next to you, etc., I want to see you again soon, etc.) weren't coming from a place of neediness--I had sent her sh!t like that previously and there were no issues.

I've thought about literally everything and it's just fvcking me up worse and worse. Did I do something in bed? Did I not do something? Did she not like my house/car/haircut/voice? Did I say something wrong or not say something I should have? Did I tell her too much about me or not enough? Did the pimple on my ass freak her out? I'm not even kidding. I've thought about all these absolutely ridiculous things, and the worst part is, all the over-analyzation in the fvcking world won't even give me the faintest idea what truly made her lose interest. For all I know, she might not even know the reason herself.

And you know what else? In trying to make myself feel better, I invited an old fvck buddy over tonight who's only in town another couple days. Half-way to my place I had to tell her not to come and to go back home because out of nowhere I started feeling fvcking horrible. And I go on these dating apps and swipe girls but all I'm doing is saying "not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*" and it makes me feel worse. The hottest woman in the world could show up in my life right now and I'd still feel like ****. This is probably the most, or close to the most, emotionally weak and pathetic I've ever felt. At least the last time I felt like this it was because I was young, dumb, and got sh!t on by someone I had been seeing for 6 months.
You got a case of Oneitis bro. The only thing that is going to take you down now is thought. And those thoughts will go right tl your appetite and rob you of your life.

Ive been there and the hard truth for you to realize now is your not enough of you. Whenever someone comes in your life and out of it, it shouldn't rip apart your foundation. Not giving a fck is s slang term for somethings thats highly difficult.

Anyhow about the texts. I dont text any of that cuddly azz shyt anymore. Its a waste. If anything tell her you want to stick your tounge in her. What she told you is how women say shyt. You'll never figure it out. Its impossible.
I had a situation over the weekend too that just leaves you scratching your head.

Here's a tip i use often. These days when we have phone numbers we don't memorize them. Use it to your advantage and if you start to lose your frame strength and want to reach out. Don't look at the contact number and just delete it after you sent your reply.

Then your guaranteed not to over text which is an attraction killer like no other. That way she will have to reach out to you or you never speak again. Ever.... like death. It works.
 

stringpuller

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Welcome to 3rd wave feminism and selling “something better is just around the corner!”. I looked at it this way, she’d dated her ex for a year, she dated me for just shy of 6 months....if she could walk away from me that easily after all that time then I didn’t develop the bond with her I thought I had. Felt like I did but the fact that it ended so fast told me I didn’t. And women wonder why guys don’t want to commit to relationships, it’s **** like that experience is why.
No matter what you have to strive to find the place were you truly don't care because you are happy and care for yourself. Then freeze out becomes a laughable situation. And its not butthurt MGTOW type of crap. Its just another curve in the road. Except the new beginning
 

stringpuller

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Honestly, I never really changed the way I texted her. Even up to the text on Tuesday she was responding positively, then bam, not interested. It's just bizarre, in my opinion, for her to be reeeaaally into me after the first couple dates (I'm talking to the point where I was worried I was going to hurt her--seriously) then suddenly she's totally not interested. And the Friday before our third date she initiated with me, which led to the third date. This might seem stupid, but I more think that I was TOO sexual with her, which got her thinking that I only wanted sex from her, and somehow it spun out of control in her mind and she convinced herself that we didn't "vibe" non-sexually. But that also doesn't really make sense because she was very sexual too. Ugh who knows... I'd bet SHE doesn't even really know.

Also, after the texts in the OP, here's a small update:

Me: *told her I didn't just want sex from her and enjoyed hanging out, but that I respect her decision*

Her: I enjoyed it too!! I just haven't been single in a while and I don't want to enter a relationship or anything unless I feel like it's 100% right

Me: yeah I was a rebound. I get it

Her: Well if you want to put it like that then everyone is a rebound to me because I never give myself enough time to just be single
Not trying to be a dik but you posted this. You got to stop talking to women like this if you want these kinds of outcomes to minimize bro.
When you start to feel those urges to reach out, ask questions and seek closure. Throw your phone in a river and get a new one and start over again.
 
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Oh you’ll get **** on by women no matter what age you are. You can learn a lesson from this one but most likely you’ll never encounter another woman like her or a situation like this, and that’s a good thing! I’m hoping I never ever meet another woman or situation like I mentioned in the post I made above. If I do then hang me now.lol

As for text messages that might have turned her off. Maybe, I dunno. No one really knows. I was dating this girl seriously and our texting was fine. Then when she was freezing me out days after our trip, she made a comment about some interview she had. It happened to be on my birthday so I said “cool I’ll use my wish for good luck for you.lol”. She comes back “don’t waste a wish on me”. The fvck? How do you respond to that? Asked her what she meant and she says “idk”. So I left it at that and let her feeeze me out for good. Stopped trying at that moment.
Smart man
 

stringpuller

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You dated a women who broke up only within 2 month??? I don't understand why guys are doing this, throwing themselves to be a s3x toys, almost everytime makes all the women feels all men are a trash. This is the one lesson youll learn mate and hope you'll do better next time.
Good looking Women are never truly single.
 

Focal core

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Jesus. That's seriously some BS. And the worst part is there's almost never any real closure. People just have a change of heart out of nowhere and it's over even quicker than it began. I really do wish that I could flip a switch a totally turn off my emotions, or sex drive, or both. It just seems like all this dating and relationship BS is more trouble than it's worth.
No, don't stop dating if find the girl you like.. You only have to learn the sign and red flags at the beginning.. Let say the girl gave you ioi you started dating her, watch just watch how seriously she's into you..throwing out feelers, S3x by any means isn't an indicator that she likes you for ltr, there's to be sets of admiration, trust and respect has to be established before any involvement in emotional connection dept.. You ain't the only one who learn this lesson mate.. Lots of guys do.
 

stringpuller

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I will never understand why it's SO important for guys to shred guys on this site? All it does is create men who are bitter AT women.

You have no solid "proof" of anything that you are saying except that you are hamster twisting what he posted, to purposefully try to shame him.

I'm basing my replies off of what she said and what he said his intuition is telling him. Stop the damn hamster wheel and take her words at face value

His intuition is correct, he was a rebound. Nothing more nothing less. There's no Machiavellian intent going on, lol
Its part of the redpill. Like my younger self guys need to here the truth. Women are not moral creatures. Men are valiant and women follow. They are not moral as we like to think. Some are screwy yes but they truly dont give a ratz azz in the end. This is the way of nature.

Thats why they can turn on a dime and be very happy in another life in a matter of 60 days.
So when we are posting and saying things that are like this its part of the waking up. It doesnt create bitter men it creates ahh ha moments of clarity.
 

stringpuller

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I'm not shaming him. I'm shaming her.

He sent those texts because he thought he was in a good position

But she selfishly got what she wanted and now she's gone. Yet you call her "afraid"

I would imagine your opinion would be slightly different if it was a MAN using a WOMAN for sex and then ghosting her
He shouldn't have been texting her at all. Not like that.
If anything she should be blowing up his phone. If it took 2 weeks or 3 months. It doesn't matter in this current environment.
80/20 is a great balance to get too.

And when they finally do if they ever do.
Reply: who is this?
Lol
 
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