Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Situation with girlfriend

antr

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
12
So Ive been together with my gf for over 6 months now. Ive been away for 6 weeks for work till last week. She couldnt wait to see me, threw me a surprise etc when I came back.

Now few days ago we spent the day together, I tried to initiate sex later on. She completely cracked and started saying Im only with her for sex and that everytime I see her we have sex at least 4 times which is too much for her. I tried to talk with her but she went to sleep.

When we woke up I tried talking to her again. We kinda sorted this too much sex bs but she started crying later on. She didnt want to tell me why she's crying just that its not related to me and that its something about her which she doesnt want to talk about (I dont think she cheated or something like that, might be pms or that it was her deceased father bd)

Now shes acting a bit cold since. Should I try to talk to her again about the reason why she cried when I see her and should I also drop my interest since shes doing it to me now? I most likely acted beta during the whole situation so Im wondering how I can save this.
 

ohrein

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2016
Messages
1,074
Reaction score
1,222
Age
39
If a woman drops communication and interest it's best to mirror her behavior and let her come back to you, particularly after she acted childishly with you and refused to communicate. If she's truly into you she'll come back after a week being all sweet and apologetic. I'd use the time to focus on yourself a bit and see what happens.
 

lizardking82

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2016
Messages
1,898
Reaction score
1,559
Well, none here can know what happened and we can't predict what will either, but I say you try to honestly talk to her after a while again. A woman slowing down on sex does not always and necessarily mean she is cheating. If this situation continues, then there is certainly room for a lot of different doubts. For now, refrain judgement and try to comfort her. Report back in a week or two on how things are looking, then we can get a better view of the situation and give you a better view of it, too.

You got this, my man. Take it easy and always protect your heart.
 

The Diver

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
494
Reaction score
516
Now few days ago we spent the day together, I tried to initiate sex later on. She completely cracked and started saying Im only with her for sex and that everytime I see her we have sex at least 4 times which is too much for her.
Something feel off, and I'm actually do think she cheated,, Now that she feel guilty, she created fight and drama in order to transfer her guilt onto you.

 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
Something feel off, and I'm actually do think she cheated,, Now that she feel guilty, she created fight and drama in order to transfer her guilt onto you.
^^I 2nd this.

6 weeks and she didn't initiated s€x?

Likely she cheated and felt guilty.

Best you back off and see how she responds.
 

CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
915
Reaction score
669
Age
36
It’s time to back off from this relationship. Either you have dreaded her too much or don’t give enough affection
 

antr

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
12
^^I 2nd this.

6 weeks and she didn't initiated s€x?

Likely she cheated and felt guilty.

Best you back off and see how she responds.
She initated... We had sex multiple times since I came back. Also she initiated meeting up and then initated sex three days ago but shes been cold after that (this was after crying episode).
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
She initated... We had sex multiple times since I came back. Also she initiated meeting up and then initated sex three days ago but shes been cold after that (this was after crying episode).
If it's me, I'd ask and if no discussion is forthcoming I'd soft NC until there's some effort from her.

Don't reward bad behaviour by being attentive and trying to be nice, it'll back fire later on.
 

antr

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
12
If it's me, I'd ask and if no discussion is forthcoming I'd soft NC until there's some effort from her.

Don't reward bad behaviour by being attentive and trying to be nice, it'll back fire later on.
I'll see her in a few days and try to find out again. She has exams soon and maybe thats also why theres less communication.

I forgot to write that we had a vacation planned and she insisted I book it after this crying episode (texted me immediately after I left and said its important to her), this vacation is in 2 months.
 

Mazer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
794
Reaction score
890
Age
45
She didnt want to talk about it?! A woman who you are in a relationship with should feel comfortable enough to tell you (you should be her rock) unless she is cheating on you. She probably met a dude in those six weeks or reached out to an orbiter of hers and hooked up. A woman who is highly interested will not leave you confused. I would immediately start pulling back and wouldnt ask her again. If a woman wants to tell you something she will. Doesnt sound good. Trust your gut.
 

antr

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
12
She didnt want to talk about it?! A woman who you are in a relationship with should feel comfortable enough to tell you (you should be her rock) unless she is cheating on you. She probably met a dude in those six weeks or reached out to an orbiter of hers and hooked up. A woman who is highly interested will not leave you confused. I would immediately start pulling back and wouldnt ask her again. If a woman wants to tell you something she will. Doesnt sound good. Trust your gut.
My gut tells me she didnt cheat based on her behaviour when I was away and when I came back (had sex like 5 times that night). I asked her when she cried if she did something ans she said she didn't. She told me it was something about her which she cant tell me because I'll think shes weak.
 

Mazer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
794
Reaction score
890
Age
45
She might be insecure, especially when you are away. She is blaming you for the way she feels even if you arent in the wrong. She must punish you now by withholding sex. Just reassure her, if she starts to become even more distant then she probably banging another dude.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,583
Reaction score
7,443
Location
USA, Louisiana
She's ether trying to emotionally manipulate you into something or she feels guilty about something @Spaz might be right that there is another dude. Just back off for awhile and see what she does. I think relationships are a waste of time, but if a chick will not communicate with you a relationship is impossible.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,147
Location
DFW, TX
She might be insecure, especially when you are away. She is blaming you for the way she feels even if you arent in the wrong. She must punish you now by withholding sex. Just reassure her, if she starts to become even more distant then she probably banging another dude.
That will make her cry too. If she's getting close to a guy thru sex, when you try to have the same position it will make her feel like a ***** .
 

MrWood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2016
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
1,201
Age
58
Location
Scandinavia
throw my opinion...

she didnt cheat. she realized she could cheat (and this scares her that she will hurt you if she does, and is the source of her state)
she likely has actually met someone on an emotional level and possible had physical contact, but not necessarily cheated all the way
 

antr

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 16, 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
12
throw my opinion...

she didnt cheat. she realized she could cheat (and this scares her that she will hurt you if she does, and is the source of her state)
she likely has actually met someone on an emotional level and possible had physical contact, but not necessarily cheated all the way
I also dont think she cheated based on her behaviour. Like I said we had sex multiple times before this too much sex rant, and even had sex the next morning when this happened. I think it was a mix of her pms and me wanting to have sex with her everytime multiple times when we see each other. But I don't know why she cried after, maybe she realized she was beeing a ***** towards me for no reason.

I'm seeing her tomorrow unless she cancels (if she does then this is pretty much over for me). I'll try to get out of her tomorrow whats the reason which made her cry. If she wont tell me again, I'll tell her that her not telling me whats bothering her is making me think she cheated on me.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
Women were born to lie and manipulate men on so many levels. It's their survival instincts at play, you might catch them some of the time but not all of the time.

I wish u luck.
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,206
Reaction score
4,951
I also dont think she cheated based on her behaviour. Like I said we had sex multiple times before this too much sex rant, and even had sex the next morning when this happened. I think it was a mix of her pms and me wanting to have sex with her everytime multiple times when we see each other. But I don't know why she cried after, maybe she realized she was beeing a ***** towards me for no reason.

I'm seeing her tomorrow unless she cancels (if she does then this is pretty much over for me). I'll try to get out of her tomorrow whats the reason which made her cry. If she wont tell me again, I'll tell her that her not telling me whats bothering her is making me think she cheated on me.
I wouldn't advise you to pressurise her to talk.. Even worse is setting her ultimatums.. Or else!

Don't keep asking her to talk, makes you look weak, needy and pathetic.

Maybe the sex is too much for her? Sounds like your smashing her 4-5 times a day, and she doesn't want or need it that often.

Don't push for a conversation.. Step back from this.. Give it time.. Let her come to you.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,663
Reaction score
8,553
Age
46
My bet would be that she cheated. Possibly contracted something in the process.

The best bet is to completely BACK OFF and see how she handles it. If you do this correctly, she will either ask you what is wrong or use the silence as a very simple escape door and break up with you. In the end, it doesnt really matter if leaving you has already crossed her mind.

When she asks you why you are "acting different" or "acting weird", you simply tell her that based on her decision that sex is too frequently all of a sudden, you feel as if the terms of the contract have changed. Tell her that you would like a little time and space to figure out if this is the path you need to be on.

When a pool gets cloudy and algae starts to grow, you have to shock it. This is no different that dealing with a woman, I think she cheated, thinks that you are the guy that will always be there no matter what, and you need to mind fvck her by shocking her system.

If you want to end up in a near sexless relationship, continue as normal.
 
Top