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A lot of men here take this whole societal/SMP view and scale it down. "There are too many thirsty betas complimenting women, which inflates their ego, so I won't do it." When really it's a matter of circumstance - who's giving a compliment and in what manner. Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented. It can be sincere but still leave you feeling like there's an ulterior motive.Good example. See, we keep getting told don't give compliments but here you are saying you do it all the time.
Also, if girls are told they look good 1,000 times a day or whatever, why was she blushing and thrown off by it? Wouldn't you think they would be so used to it, they'd be able to handle it better? A lot of things don't add up here. I don't mean your story doesn't add up, I'm saying it doesn't mesh with conventional PUA dogma.
Also, wouldn't her blushing be a good thing (if you actually had been trying to pick her up?).
And yet you are out there giving compliments. Maybe you're only giving compliments at work (?), but given the #MeToo movement, that seems like the most dangerous place to be giving compliments. Also, since you apparently have the personality type to give compliments, it seems odd that you would just turn that part of yourself off when you leave work.That's why in typical male-female interaction compliment should be avoided. Totally.
This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented.
Maybe I'm missing something. I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him. Doesn't matter how attractive he is - she is less so in his eyes.This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?
That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him.
And yet, that woman still thought you were hitting on her.Like I already wrote, that's what I do. I work in high-profile office, 60% people there are females, it pays off to be nice, I compliment them on choice of clothes or dress in non-sexual manner.
I believe it's likely not the best strategy. But like I said, I have seen friends compliment girls on their looks and they ate it up. So this is a case of reality not always matching up with PUA theory.When it comes to non-work related/romantic interaction with females - I did paid compliments before so I know it is bad idea/I verified this.
What I mean is it's mostly in the intention, and that men shouldn't worry about outcome or what she thinks. Just give a compliment if you feel like it. When it comes from a place of desperation or wanting something in return, she'll smell it. This to me is not about "PUA theory" but about being high value and spreading that value around. As you think so shall you be.That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?
How does the guy know she doesn't think he's attractive when he approaches her? Isn't he supposed to "assume attraction", according to PUA theory?
It depends entirely on the cirumstances. In text/social media/dating apps, i'd say no. If it's nightgame, I'd also generally say no for the same reasons: most guys hitting on them are probably saying the same **** as you. If it's daygame, however, I'd say yes, because it takes balls to do that **** in the middle of the day and they're not expecting it.
There is no rule of thumb, though. I'd strongly avoid using top shelf compliments such as beautiful, gorgeous, etc (unless they truly are, a 9/10 dressed super feminine and elegant in a grocery store for instance, would warrant such strong adjectives).
Generally though, I think it's best to make specific compliments over something generic. Maybe say their winged eyeliner looks good, or say the color of their dress looks good on them, or whatever. Or maybe spin it into a half compliment and say that dress looks good on them but the color seems off. If you are ballsy you could take the late Patrice O'Neal approach and open with something like "look at you in those shorts!" with an objectifying tone, but that probably takes a very precise mix of tenderness and aggressiveness.
In the early stages of dating never compliment a girl on her looks. Never. You have to leave her wondering what you think of her. This is how you compliment her,I am serious with this question.... I always have it in my head that when you compliment a girl's appearance you were lowering your value and also basically giving her power by telegraphing too much interest.
I guess this question is more towards the early dating phase.... If you go on a first date or meet with a girl should you ever compliment her appearance?
I never do but I wonder if it could ever be advantageous?
Agree that a compliment should be made about choices they made (outfit, apparel etc..) and not physical gifts. I rarely even give any compliment to them initially though, maybe I'll try mixing that in.In the early stages of dating never compliment a girl on her looks. Never. You have to leave her wondering what you think of her. This is how you compliment her,
"That is a lovely dress"
"Your shoes are nice."
"I like your out fit."
Stuff like this will draw her in and make her want to draw more out of you.
"You're so beautiful."
"You're so hot."
"You look so gorgeous tonight"
She has heard it all before and now you are just acting like any other thirsty beta guy.
One compliment at the beginning of the date. Compliment an inanimate object such as her dress......not her, and leave her wondering.
Sometimes I think a big smile and eye contact could be better than a compliment.I've actually talked to a couple women about this, and both of them pretty much told me the same thing. Girls want to be complimented by men they're already attracted to or find physically appealing. If you are unattractive and compliment a women, then you're "creepy".
I can pretty much validate this 100%. I get away with saying a lot of sh!t other guys can't.. because I've gauged the girls interest before and built a sexual rapport with her from the beginning. I've said some wild sh!t to my plates on their FB feeds, and then seen other guys try to hop in the comments and do the same thing and get completely ridiculed. I've seen this in real life as well.. that because a girl acts sexual towards me, other guys just think she is a ho and then end up getting completely embarrassed when she turns him down in front of everyone.
So when is the best time to compliment a girl? I say do it when you think she is mildly attracted to you but not quite sure. Use it as a tool to gauge interest, and don't take it personal if she reacts in a way you didn't expect. I get a ton of pvssy, but I also get turned down a lot as well. You can't win 'um all, nor should you try to.
I completely agree. My question is more towards an in person scenario.... Let's say you are a confident and successful person eating with a friend at a restaurant. Maybe you spot a very attractive woman having a drink at the bar. You walk up to her hold strong eye contact, big smile, radiate confident and say something like "you are $#&#* gorgeous..." "I don't even swear.." "my name is Rey etc..."Watch any YouTube video by a good looking woman, and you will see tons of simps commenting “You’re so beautiful”. Doesn’t that turn your stomach? They come off as absolute losers, and we feel a revulsion toward these weaklings. These comments sound weak and feminine.
Women are repulsed by physical compliments because it immediately shows her that the guy is “all-in”, and completely smitten by her.
I think this and the rest of your post is spot on... however the part that misleads people (even myself when I first started out on this quest) is the implication that anyone who acts that way will get the girl. THE WOMAN NEEDS TO FIND YOU PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE.... That is the bottom line that nobody wants to admit here... You can act as aloof as you want but if your look/presence doesn't stimulate that trite "spark" they always talk about she'd be more attentive to a fly buzzing around than your presence.Do you know what women find wildly attractive? Detachment. A man who is unfazed by her physical beauty is a man who will make her work for his affection and attention.