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Should you ever compliment a girl on her looks?

zekko

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I am not playing ppl at work to pick them up. I compliment them to make them feel good about themselves around me/I don't put amy sexual innuendos/I'm nice - there's no place for PUA dogma in work imo. Either you are professional or you are not. Either you flirt with everyone or with noone.

Girl blushed because she likes me/thinks I'm hot (probably) she would DGAF/just take compliment and smile if she was indifferent - she was too young/inexperienced to react properly.
All true. Given that, where's the problem with giving compliments?
 

Bwedr

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I think ur missing the point.We want any strategy tht will give us good results with women if it means having ego why not!
 

samspade

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Good example. See, we keep getting told don't give compliments but here you are saying you do it all the time.
Also, if girls are told they look good 1,000 times a day or whatever, why was she blushing and thrown off by it? Wouldn't you think they would be so used to it, they'd be able to handle it better? A lot of things don't add up here. I don't mean your story doesn't add up, I'm saying it doesn't mesh with conventional PUA dogma.
Also, wouldn't her blushing be a good thing (if you actually had been trying to pick her up?).
A lot of men here take this whole societal/SMP view and scale it down. "There are too many thirsty betas complimenting women, which inflates their ego, so I won't do it." When really it's a matter of circumstance - who's giving a compliment and in what manner. Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented. It can be sincere but still leave you feeling like there's an ulterior motive.

When guys start worrying about these large scale societal causes and effects they just psyche themselves out or overthink it. I don't think any man should be caring so much about things he can't control.

Or, to use an old SoSuave favorite...would George Clooney worry about inflating a woman's ego? :)
 

zekko

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That's why in typical male-female interaction compliment should be avoided. Totally.
And yet you are out there giving compliments. Maybe you're only giving compliments at work (?), but given the #MeToo movement, that seems like the most dangerous place to be giving compliments. Also, since you apparently have the personality type to give compliments, it seems odd that you would just turn that part of yourself off when you leave work.

Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented.
This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?
 

samspade

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This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?
Maybe I'm missing something. I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him. Doesn't matter how attractive he is - she is less so in his eyes.
 

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zekko

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I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him.
That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?
How does the guy know she doesn't think he's attractive when he approaches her? Isn't he supposed to "assume attraction", according to PUA theory?

Like I already wrote, that's what I do. I work in high-profile office, 60% people there are females, it pays off to be nice, I compliment them on choice of clothes or dress in non-sexual manner.
And yet, that woman still thought you were hitting on her.

When it comes to non-work related/romantic interaction with females - I did paid compliments before so I know it is bad idea/I verified this.
I believe it's likely not the best strategy. But like I said, I have seen friends compliment girls on their looks and they ate it up. So this is a case of reality not always matching up with PUA theory.

Things like this, confidence and compliments, will probably never fully make sense to me (even though I understand the concept), so I will probably always be analyzing them.
 

samspade

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That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?
How does the guy know she doesn't think he's attractive when he approaches her? Isn't he supposed to "assume attraction", according to PUA theory?
What I mean is it's mostly in the intention, and that men shouldn't worry about outcome or what she thinks. Just give a compliment if you feel like it. When it comes from a place of desperation or wanting something in return, she'll smell it. This to me is not about "PUA theory" but about being high value and spreading that value around. As you think so shall you be.
 

Lynx nkaf

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It depends entirely on the cirumstances. In text/social media/dating apps, i'd say no. If it's nightgame, I'd also generally say no for the same reasons: most guys hitting on them are probably saying the same **** as you. If it's daygame, however, I'd say yes, because it takes balls to do that **** in the middle of the day and they're not expecting it.

There is no rule of thumb, though. I'd strongly avoid using top shelf compliments such as beautiful, gorgeous, etc (unless they truly are, a 9/10 dressed super feminine and elegant in a grocery store for instance, would warrant such strong adjectives).

Generally though, I think it's best to make specific compliments over something generic. Maybe say their winged eyeliner looks good, or say the color of their dress looks good on them, or whatever. Or maybe spin it into a half compliment and say that dress looks good on them but the color seems off. If you are ballsy you could take the late Patrice O'Neal approach and open with something like "look at you in those shorts!" with an objectifying tone, but that probably takes a very precise mix of tenderness and aggressiveness.
 

Reyaj

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I guess I didn't explicitly state in my original post but I meant the question towards girls you'd be interested in....

If you fancy a woman... would you compliment her natural looks? I mean this in the courting phase... My style is more to just have normal conversation with her... I think I read once that women know you're interested in them even if you don't state it. I think sincere compliments work well but what purpose would remarking about their physical looks get you?

I can't seem to shake this mantra in my head that doing so lowers your value.... Perhaps if you do it from a higher SMV it doesn't..... but fvck I can't shake it..... I know most of the women I've courted I never started out by flattering their appearance.
 

Scars

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I've actually talked to a couple women about this, and both of them pretty much told me the same thing. Girls want to be complimented by men they're already attracted to or find physically appealing. If you are unattractive and compliment a women, then you're "creepy".

I can pretty much validate this 100%. I get away with saying a lot of sh!t other guys can't.. because I've gauged the girls interest before and built a sexual rapport with her from the beginning. I've said some wild sh!t to my plates on their FB feeds, and then seen other guys try to hop in the comments and do the same thing and get completely ridiculed. I've seen this in real life as well.. that because a girl acts sexual towards me, other guys just think she is a ho and then end up getting completely embarrassed when she turns him down in front of everyone.

So when is the best time to compliment a girl? I say do it when you think she is mildly attracted to you but not quite sure. Use it as a tool to gauge interest, and don't take it personal if she reacts in a way you didn't expect. I get a ton of pvssy, but I also get turned down a lot as well. You can't win 'um all, nor should you try to.
 

Pajeet Singh

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All the conversation between man and women can be divided vaguely into "give" and "take".
By the act of "gives" you give attention and importance to her.
By the act of "takes" you take attention and importance from her.
While standing in a hallway on the first day of you job or college admission, if a girl asks the way to library, she gives you AI( attention and importance).
If you ask a girl you give her AI.

The point at which you should give "compliment" AI is when she has given you at least 2-3 such "compliment" AI to you. You have to find out yourself. For instance, she tells you that you are confident; she tells you that no can be as disciplined as you; tells you that you are hot. At this point you can give compliment AIs;but, remember always to be on the leading side.
 

Pajeet Singh

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And for girls who are 10/10, not complimenting works more than subtle compliments.
 

dude99

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I am serious with this question.... I always have it in my head that when you compliment a girl's appearance you were lowering your value and also basically giving her power by telegraphing too much interest.

I guess this question is more towards the early dating phase.... If you go on a first date or meet with a girl should you ever compliment her appearance?

I never do but I wonder if it could ever be advantageous?
In the early stages of dating never compliment a girl on her looks. Never. You have to leave her wondering what you think of her. This is how you compliment her,

"That is a lovely dress"
"Your shoes are nice."
"I like your out fit."

Stuff like this will draw her in and make her want to draw more out of you.

"You're so beautiful."
"You're so hot."
"You look so gorgeous tonight"

She has heard it all before and now you are just acting like any other thirsty beta guy.

One compliment at the beginning of the date. Compliment an inanimate object such as her dress......not her, and leave her wondering.
 

Reyaj

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In the early stages of dating never compliment a girl on her looks. Never. You have to leave her wondering what you think of her. This is how you compliment her,

"That is a lovely dress"
"Your shoes are nice."
"I like your out fit."

Stuff like this will draw her in and make her want to draw more out of you.

"You're so beautiful."
"You're so hot."
"You look so gorgeous tonight"

She has heard it all before and now you are just acting like any other thirsty beta guy.

One compliment at the beginning of the date. Compliment an inanimate object such as her dress......not her, and leave her wondering.
Agree that a compliment should be made about choices they made (outfit, apparel etc..) and not physical gifts. I rarely even give any compliment to them initially though, maybe I'll try mixing that in.

I've actually talked to a couple women about this, and both of them pretty much told me the same thing. Girls want to be complimented by men they're already attracted to or find physically appealing. If you are unattractive and compliment a women, then you're "creepy".

I can pretty much validate this 100%. I get away with saying a lot of sh!t other guys can't.. because I've gauged the girls interest before and built a sexual rapport with her from the beginning. I've said some wild sh!t to my plates on their FB feeds, and then seen other guys try to hop in the comments and do the same thing and get completely ridiculed. I've seen this in real life as well.. that because a girl acts sexual towards me, other guys just think she is a ho and then end up getting completely embarrassed when she turns him down in front of everyone.

So when is the best time to compliment a girl? I say do it when you think she is mildly attracted to you but not quite sure. Use it as a tool to gauge interest, and don't take it personal if she reacts in a way you didn't expect. I get a ton of pvssy, but I also get turned down a lot as well. You can't win 'um all, nor should you try to.
Sometimes I think a big smile and eye contact could be better than a compliment.
 

Bullbearpig

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After hundreds of cold approaches, I've learned women respond best to compliments of shoes or hair. But whatever the compliment, it needs to be genuine. I never compliment anymore on the initial approach though, I always just say "hey, I noticed you from over there and I wanted to come and meet you." That in itself is an indirect compliment. Ive never once had a negative reaction from a woman saying that...even if she's not interested.
 

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Reyaj

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While its been a while since I read The Art of Seduction, I think there's a reference to creating attraction by being so enthralled with a girl's presence...

Like if you were to hold deep eye contact, smile, and say powerfully "you are f$#& gorgeous...."

I think I tried this once at a club and the girl actually stopped and said thank you... the key thing was that she stopped and might have wanted me to follow up with more game...

Like I said though, I generally shy away from doing this for the reasons I've mentioned above. Still makes me wonder though...
 

Atom Smasher

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Look at it this way, guys...

Watch any YouTube video by a good looking woman, and you will see tons of simps commenting “You’re so beautiful”. Doesn’t that turn your stomach? They come off as absolute losers, and we feel a revulsion toward these weaklings. These comments sound weak and feminine.

Women are repulsed by physical compliments because it immediately shows her that the guy is “all-in”, and completely smitten by her.

Do you know what women find wildly attractive? Detachment. A man who is unfazed by her physical beauty is a man who will make her work for his affection and attention.

When it comes to attraction, detachment is everything. She already knows she is beautiful, and that is a given. She’s flooded with men who she considers complete simps indicating they are interested in her because of her looks. These guys are “easy” and they appear like spineless jellyfish to her.

Expressing desire for her sexuality in a round-about way is the way to go. Women love hints and cloak & dagger. They hate the obvious. Her sexuality is seen by her as different from her obvious good looks.

In experimenting with my fiancé, I noticed that amy kind of compliment about her looks is the weakest form of compliment I can give her. Most of you know from my humble-bragging that she is absolutely gorgeous physically, in a young, healthy, natural way. She is a stunner, and most people perceive her as a super young-looking thirty-something. I quickly found out that the last thing I should do is compliment her on her looks. The most I’ll say is “You look nice” after she has her hair done.

The rest is all about me teasing how in our relationship, I’m the “cute one”, but she looks ok.

But what really turns her on is not that I’m impressed with her looks, but rather that I desire her sexuality. There is a huge difference. I am indicating that I desire her core, not her exterior facade. How does one express his desire for her sexuality? Basically by expressing hints of what you will do/would like to do to her sexually. If you go out somewhere, take a close-up picture of her ass or top and show her how your camera seems to be "malfunctioning".

I advise every man to go watch any YouTube video by a pretty woman, and read the simp comments of how “beautiful” she is. It will make you want to vomit. Guess what? It makes women want to vomit, too.

Never forget that detachment is a huge turn-on for women. This alone is what separates you from the common simp. Compliment her inner core (personality traits), but never her looks.
 

Reyaj

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Watch any YouTube video by a good looking woman, and you will see tons of simps commenting “You’re so beautiful”. Doesn’t that turn your stomach? They come off as absolute losers, and we feel a revulsion toward these weaklings. These comments sound weak and feminine.

Women are repulsed by physical compliments because it immediately shows her that the guy is “all-in”, and completely smitten by her.
I completely agree. My question is more towards an in person scenario.... Let's say you are a confident and successful person eating with a friend at a restaurant. Maybe you spot a very attractive woman having a drink at the bar. You walk up to her hold strong eye contact, big smile, radiate confident and say something like "you are $#&#* gorgeous..." "I don't even swear.." "my name is Rey etc..."

You don't think that could work? Again its the confidence and delivery behind it. This is different than just saying to a girl wow you are so hot or wow you are so pretty... you are so beautiful etc....

Do you know what women find wildly attractive? Detachment. A man who is unfazed by her physical beauty is a man who will make her work for his affection and attention.
I think this and the rest of your post is spot on... however the part that misleads people (even myself when I first started out on this quest) is the implication that anyone who acts that way will get the girl. THE WOMAN NEEDS TO FIND YOU PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE.... That is the bottom line that nobody wants to admit here... You can act as aloof as you want but if your look/presence doesn't stimulate that trite "spark" they always talk about she'd be more attentive to a fly buzzing around than your presence.

The biggest thing I have found out in all my trials in tribulations is the need for this attraction in a woman. I've said it many times but it doesn't mean you need to look like Brad Pitt or some other universally attractive person. She just needs something about you to resonate that feeling in her.... You can be pudgy for example.. and if that kind of look does something to her it could even be more effective than if you were a ripped gym rat...

Detachment and game in general are essential in cultivating a relationship with a woman further.. as the initial attraction is just a foot in the door. But I guarantee your look (whatever it is) is one your woman feels an attraction towards.
 
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