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Should you ever compliment a girl on her looks?

zekko

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I'm still convinced that it's better not to compliment a woman when in doubt. When I compliment a woman it's usually something ridiculous and absurd. It's so absurd they have to laugh. And that absurdity becomes a conversational topic in the end. It's not about manipulating, but rather about having a normal conversation - that means building rapport and reciprocating.
I treat complimenting the same way as I do confidence. I've always heard I'm supposed to be confident, so I act confident. I hear I'm not suppose to compliment women, so I don't compliment them. The problem that I see is that there is no way to have a normal conversation with all these PUA rules. That's why they say get an understanding of the basics, absorb the mindset, and then forget the rules and go do what you want.
 

markfromeurope

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Well, here's the thing:

For some guys compliments do the magic - they work fot high LMS guys that would score with female anyway w/o using them - especially STATUS-chasers are easy to swoop with compliments - so STATUS-carrier men just use compliments as a shortcut to main objective (p.ussy of STATUS-chaser) because there's no obvious sign of interest than compliment - still this game was won before it even started. It's just a fast-forward button used by STATUS-carrier.

For PUA's or normal guys going after pretty woman - no chance, because not enough LOOKS or MONEY or STATUS so it's against the GAME principle which is based on emotional rollercoaster and was considered a way to hack the LMS-system to some extent (and it worked....to some extent).

Age also matters (older women were easier to compliment because no Tinder/Facebook/Instagram), paying compliment now to women you are not sleeping with is one big MEH unless you are after some other purpose (e.g. soft skills at work or smthng like that)
 

HyenaPrince

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I treat complimenting the same way as I do confidence. I've always heard I'm supposed to be confident, so I act confident. I hear I'm not suppose to compliment women, so I don't compliment them. The problem that I see is that there is no way to have a normal conversation with all these PUA rules. That's why they say get an understanding of the basics, absorb the mindset, and then forget the rules and go do what you want.
Confidence is a different animal than merely giving compliments. I get what you're saying. Reading all those guidelines can be crippling. But in the end you have to enjoy what's happening with a woman. Tap into your animalistic side. No, I don't mean hump her right then and there or sniff her a*s. But just feel the serotonine when you interact and smell her perfume when you hug each other etc.

If you focus on yourself having fun you won't even think about making compliments. It will pop up when the time is right. Timing is acquired through repetitions. And repetitions also make habits. Make it a habit being yourself and you'll be fine.
 

zekko

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STATUS-carrier men just use compliments as a shortcut to main objective (p.ussy of STATUS-chaser) because there's no obvious sign of interest than compliment - still this game was won before it even started.
I'm sure that's true, but there is such a thing as a polite compliment. "Hey, I like that sweater" as a simple statement rather than trying to send a message telegraphing interest. But hey, in PUA world being polite is out too, right?

paying compliment now to women you are not sleeping with is one big MEH unless you are after some other purpose (e.g. soft skills at work or smthng like that)
Everyone here seems to view compliments as some sort of technique or as a way to get something. It's just like the "nice guy". I never in my life thought that along the lines that you should be nice to someone because it was a way to manipulate them into liking you. I always thought you should treat people well just out of basic respect - unless of course they were an @ss, and it would be better to wash your hands of them.

I remember once I told a girl I liked her hair ribbon or whatever it was. And she responded by telling me something about her husband, as if to say "I'm married". And I was thinking "I just said I liked your ribbon, I wasn't asking you on a date or trying to have sex with you". Like I said before, it's hard to have a normal conversation with people these days.
 

markfromeurope

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I remember once I told a girl I liked her hair ribbon or whatever it was. And she responded by telling me something about her husband, as if to say "I'm married". And I was thinking "I just said I liked your ribbon, I wasn't asking you on a date or trying to have sex with you". Like I said before, it's hard to have a normal conversation with people these days.
Well everything that is sexual is more important now than it was 30 years ago. Simultaneously, because of it, people have less sex because they are more interested in sex.

That's why any kind of (perceived as direct) attention like complimanting part of female looks is in 99% perceived as pick up method.

I told a girl working in caffeteria in my office that she 'looks nice today' - just out of courtesy because I like her - she acted like I was picking her up in front of everyone, blushed and was annoyed - I generally tend to pay a lot of compliments to ppl in my workplace, both males and females (I'm smoothtalker type and I do it on purpose) and some ppl really don't know how to take a compliment these days which is rather weird tbh
 

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zekko

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I told a girl working in caffeteria in my office that she 'looks nice today' - just out of courtesy because I like her - she acted like I was picking her up in front of everyone, blushed and was annoyed - I generally tend to pay a lot of compliments to ppl in my workplace, both males and females (I'm smoothtalker type and I do it on purpose) and some ppl really don't know how to take a compliment these days which is rather weird tbh
Good example. See, we keep getting told don't give compliments but here you are saying you do it all the time.
Also, if girls are told they look good 1,000 times a day or whatever, why was she blushing and thrown off by it? Wouldn't you think they would be so used to it, they'd be able to handle it better? A lot of things don't add up here. I don't mean your story doesn't add up, I'm saying it doesn't mesh with conventional PUA dogma.
Also, wouldn't her blushing be a good thing (if you actually had been trying to pick her up?).
 

markfromeurope

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A lot of things don't add up here. I don't mean your story doesn't add up, I'm saying it doesn't mesh with conventional PUA dogma.
Also, wouldn't her blushing be a good thing (if you actually had been trying to pick her up?).
I am not playing ppl at work to pick them up. I compliment them to make them feel good about themselves around me/I don't put amy sexual innuendos/I'm nice - there's no place for PUA dogma in work imo. Either you are professional or you are not. Either you flirt with everyone or with noone.

Girl blushed because she likes me/thinks I'm hot (probably) she would DGAF/just take compliment and smile if she was indifferent - she was too young/inexperienced to react properly.
 

zekko

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I am not playing ppl at work to pick them up. I compliment them to make them feel good about themselves around me/I don't put amy sexual innuendos/I'm nice - there's no place for PUA dogma in work imo. Either you are professional or you are not. Either you flirt with everyone or with noone.

Girl blushed because she likes me/thinks I'm hot (probably) she would DGAF/just take compliment and smile if she was indifferent - she was too young/inexperienced to react properly.
All true. Given that, where's the problem with giving compliments?
 

markfromeurope

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All true. Given that, where's the problem with giving compliments?
Like I mentioned before, it's mostly an issue when you are interested in woman.

However, compliments these days devalued themselves and have multiple meanings depending on the contextual aspect of the situation/where&when&how compliment is given, thus sometimes ppl simply don't know how to behave if you don't put a meaningful accent regarding context/ what kind of compliment you really pay them (you can be insincere as well, as mocking by paying false compliments seems to be a part of 'witty' (imo rude) remarks about other ppl behaviour these days).

That's why in typical male-female interaction compliment should be avoided. Totally.
 

Bwedr

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I think ur missing the point.We want any strategy tht will give us good results with women if it means having ego why not!
 

samspade

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Good example. See, we keep getting told don't give compliments but here you are saying you do it all the time.
Also, if girls are told they look good 1,000 times a day or whatever, why was she blushing and thrown off by it? Wouldn't you think they would be so used to it, they'd be able to handle it better? A lot of things don't add up here. I don't mean your story doesn't add up, I'm saying it doesn't mesh with conventional PUA dogma.
Also, wouldn't her blushing be a good thing (if you actually had been trying to pick her up?).
A lot of men here take this whole societal/SMP view and scale it down. "There are too many thirsty betas complimenting women, which inflates their ego, so I won't do it." When really it's a matter of circumstance - who's giving a compliment and in what manner. Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented. It can be sincere but still leave you feeling like there's an ulterior motive.

When guys start worrying about these large scale societal causes and effects they just psyche themselves out or overthink it. I don't think any man should be caring so much about things he can't control.

Or, to use an old SoSuave favorite...would George Clooney worry about inflating a woman's ego? :)
 

zekko

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That's why in typical male-female interaction compliment should be avoided. Totally.
And yet you are out there giving compliments. Maybe you're only giving compliments at work (?), but given the #MeToo movement, that seems like the most dangerous place to be giving compliments. Also, since you apparently have the personality type to give compliments, it seems odd that you would just turn that part of yourself off when you leave work.

Any man who's been hit on by a woman clearly out for blood - but not attractive to him - should know how it feels to be complimented.
This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?
 

markfromeurope

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And yet you are out there giving compliments. Maybe you're only giving compliments at work (?), but given the #MeToo movement, that seems like the most dangerous place to be giving compliments.
Like I already wrote, that's what I do. I work in high-profile office, 60% people there are females, it pays off to be nice, I compliment them on choice of clothes or dress in non-sexual manner, feeding other ppl ego pays off if done properly, especially when your 'boss' gets off on power and consider you "his man" - you just need to give the compliments indirectly.

I am egoless in work - when you are strong, play the weak, when you disregard the rules, pretend you obey them first and foremost, when you are rich, downplay your financial status, when you are aggressive, play soft, if your boss starts to notice you are very smart, ask him for advice more often (especially when you don't need it) etc.

Anyway, I am pleasant to be around (like I wrote before, rather handsome, mannered, good clothes, good cologne) and I don't hit on these women so I'm far from Harvey Weinstein phuckuparea when it comes to compliments.

When it comes to non-work related/romantic interaction with females - I did paid compliments before so I know it is bad idea/I verified this.
 

samspade

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This is assuming that you are unattractive however. Not exactly a strong frame, where's the confidence in that?
Maybe I'm missing something. I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him. Doesn't matter how attractive he is - she is less so in his eyes.
 

zekko

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I meant any man being hit on by a woman he sees as not par for him.
That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?
How does the guy know she doesn't think he's attractive when he approaches her? Isn't he supposed to "assume attraction", according to PUA theory?

Like I already wrote, that's what I do. I work in high-profile office, 60% people there are females, it pays off to be nice, I compliment them on choice of clothes or dress in non-sexual manner.
And yet, that woman still thought you were hitting on her.

When it comes to non-work related/romantic interaction with females - I did paid compliments before so I know it is bad idea/I verified this.
I believe it's likely not the best strategy. But like I said, I have seen friends compliment girls on their looks and they ate it up. So this is a case of reality not always matching up with PUA theory.

Things like this, confidence and compliments, will probably never fully make sense to me (even though I understand the concept), so I will probably always be analyzing them.
 

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samspade

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That's what I thought you meant. But didn't you say that to compare it with a woman being hit on by a man she doesn't see as attractive?
How does the guy know she doesn't think he's attractive when he approaches her? Isn't he supposed to "assume attraction", according to PUA theory?
What I mean is it's mostly in the intention, and that men shouldn't worry about outcome or what she thinks. Just give a compliment if you feel like it. When it comes from a place of desperation or wanting something in return, she'll smell it. This to me is not about "PUA theory" but about being high value and spreading that value around. As you think so shall you be.
 

stormrider

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What I mean is it's mostly in the intention, and that men shouldn't worry about outcome or what she thinks. Just give a compliment if you feel like it. When it comes from a place of desperation or wanting something in return, she'll smell it. This to me is not about "PUA theory" but about being high value and spreading that value around. As you think so shall you be.
This is true. When you are contrived (inauthentic action to achieve a result), nothing works. But when you are genuine, even the most "beta" moves work.

The key is authenticity.

Are you an authentically high value man spreading his value or a needy man trying to seek a reaction?

The intent is all.

And don't think for a minute women cannot sniff your intentions. That's a rookie mistake.
 

stormrider

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This is true. When you are contrived (inauthentic action to achieve a result), nothing works. But when you are genuine, even the most "beta" moves work.

The key is authenticity.

Are you an authentically high value man spreading his value or a needy man trying to seek a reaction?

The intent is all.

And don't think for a minute women cannot sniff your intentions. That's a rookie mistake.
I have no...............IF YOU DESERVES IT, ULL GET IT.

I had 9s and 10s. Dont give me a bs excuse.
 

Lynx nkaf

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It depends entirely on the cirumstances. In text/social media/dating apps, i'd say no. If it's nightgame, I'd also generally say no for the same reasons: most guys hitting on them are probably saying the same **** as you. If it's daygame, however, I'd say yes, because it takes balls to do that **** in the middle of the day and they're not expecting it.

There is no rule of thumb, though. I'd strongly avoid using top shelf compliments such as beautiful, gorgeous, etc (unless they truly are, a 9/10 dressed super feminine and elegant in a grocery store for instance, would warrant such strong adjectives).

Generally though, I think it's best to make specific compliments over something generic. Maybe say their winged eyeliner looks good, or say the color of their dress looks good on them, or whatever. Or maybe spin it into a half compliment and say that dress looks good on them but the color seems off. If you are ballsy you could take the late Patrice O'Neal approach and open with something like "look at you in those shorts!" with an objectifying tone, but that probably takes a very precise mix of tenderness and aggressiveness.
 

Reyaj

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I guess I didn't explicitly state in my original post but I meant the question towards girls you'd be interested in....

If you fancy a woman... would you compliment her natural looks? I mean this in the courting phase... My style is more to just have normal conversation with her... I think I read once that women know you're interested in them even if you don't state it. I think sincere compliments work well but what purpose would remarking about their physical looks get you?

I can't seem to shake this mantra in my head that doing so lowers your value.... Perhaps if you do it from a higher SMV it doesn't..... but fvck I can't shake it..... I know most of the women I've courted I never started out by flattering their appearance.
 
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