Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I thought you said you weren't interested in arguing?Indigo said:Dude you're wrong, and you know it... do some research beyond google... google isn't always right, don't be so lazy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Say you're a secular humanist, or a naturalist. Many people will know what you mean, and the ones that don't, well you can have an interesting time explaining it to them.Francisco d'Anconia said:If it's going to cause this much turmoil, you might as well say that you're a Scientologist and piss everyone off.
I guess he lost interest in his original question.Indigo said:HA!
Hey Francisco, I see you live in MPLS... I live in MN, up north for the moment, school...
Any hot places to pick up girls down in the cities?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You're right about that, but the key word there is worry!reset said:Other than that, don't ever do or not do something because you're worried how others will perceive you.
Your folks sent you to school up in Moorehead to try to keep you out of trouble didn't they? Well, we'll fix that.Indigo said:HA!
Hey Francisco, I see you live in MPLS... I live in MN, up north for the moment, school...
Any hot places to pick up girls down in the cities?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
The ones that don't understand will probably think that you are one of those tree humpers.reset said:Say you're a secular humanist, or a naturalist. Many people will know what you mean, and the ones that don't, well you can have an interesting time explaining it to them.....
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.