Ok so long story short I have a girl I'll say she's a 7,8. We **** from time to time she is the very hot and cold type and at times I feel like I've made myself to available to enable her behavior. She will usually just randomly hit me up for sex should I maybe turn her down? Turning down sex is tough of course but I feel it may be needed.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Should I deny her sex
- Thread starter Randzilla
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
lizardking82
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What?
MoreThanSmooth
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What are your goals with her is the obvious first question?
If a girl's hitting you up for sex and your goal is to have sex, why on Earth would you turn her down?
On the other hand if you goal is to turn it towards being a relationship, seizing the reins a little and being less available could be a good thing, but if she's that hot she'll probably just lose interest and get some other guy.
I'd sleep with her and have a chat afterwards about what she actually wants and what you want.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MoreThanSmooth
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If you want to keep it that way, keep banging? This is literally the first time I've seen a guy complain a "7-8" chick is giving him too much sex, lol.
On the other hand if you want more you want to:
A: Start seeing other girls. Because if she rejects you, you might lose the F-buddies situation too.
B: Have a chat or arrange some proper dates with her and see what happens.
A
AJ84
Guest
Thinking about guys who struggle to get sex from 7/8 women and here's a guy who has 7/8 f**k buddy no strings and he doesn't even have to try. She calls him! And he thinks he should turn her down based on??????
Do you realize how good you got it? Why would you mess that up? I'm not even a guy and I can see how retarded that would be.
Do you realize how good you got it? Why would you mess that up? I'm not even a guy and I can see how retarded that would be.
RichardTheFrog
Banned
Without a pic, can any of us believe that she's really an 8?
A
AJ84
Guest
Because she's probably banging someone else when she's not banging you. It's a f**k buddy situation so it should be assumed that she is likely seeing other guys.
Find a second girl to fill in those times she's not there. If you make yourself busy with other girls and hobbies etc you won't be wondering about her as much
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
Be wary of overgaming, when you have her right in the palm of your hands and you're getting everything you want from her, you don't need to do anything at all.
BeExcellent
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The above reply is money.
Also as someone else said, assume you are not the only man she is sexing. Or alternatively you are the f*ck boy while she seeks relationship elsewhere (and the sex you give her when she asks satisfies her need while she is busy putting on the 'good girl' act for the other guy, and all that might entail).
lizardking82
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Then start paying more time and attention to her and see how she reacts to it. If she cuts the cold dramas and makes the whole thing more regular, you got it. If she keeps on with it and makes even more accentuated, then she;s just troubled.
marmel75
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This is you trying to make this into something it isn't. Turning down sex with a girl you want to have sex with is dumb if your goal is to have sex. If your goal is to have a relationship you may have gone too far as is for that to ever happen.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
djthiago1
Master Don Juan
So sex rejection is your ace in the hole?
This kind of stuff will only yield temporary results at best, there is probably something wrong with your overall game, or she just never dug you to begin with.
Make sure you're keeping it light and funny, no heavy subjects, no negatives, no put-downs, keeping your hands to yourself, very few compliments, asking her on dates at least once a week, maintaining a challenge, having self-control, being confident, and being well-mannered and respectful.
Now THIS will get you permanent results.
This kind of stuff will only yield temporary results at best, there is probably something wrong with your overall game, or she just never dug you to begin with.
Make sure you're keeping it light and funny, no heavy subjects, no negatives, no put-downs, keeping your hands to yourself, very few compliments, asking her on dates at least once a week, maintaining a challenge, having self-control, being confident, and being well-mannered and respectful.
Now THIS will get you permanent results.
Agreed with the above.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Keep banging her until you find better girls
Visionist
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Protected sex is the worst. It boils down to taking a girl to the clinic to get ourselves both tested before any hardcore action, for my own peace of mind regarding her. One night stands are an automatic no-go for me.
Not great, but the alternative isn't up for consideration. The trick is maintaining the vibe. Once sex is no longer "something that just happens" but "something we plan", some girls get cold feet.
Would you describe a main plate as a girl who is for all intents and purposes a girlfriend (regular dates, cooks for you, you can be yourself around her) but who is also fine with you spinning other plates? That's a rare girl right there.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.