She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Let me ask you something...What are you waiting for?Sand said:should i wait to make a move or should i just go for it?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Well put sir.sharkybear said:Let me ask you something...What are you waiting for?
Possibly to grow up. OP sounds really young.EnjoysWatches said:Well put sir.
You should always treat women with respect, however the problem with most men that have been brought up with this pounded into their head by their mothers is the other side of the coin. Even your mother doesn't want a man that will be agreeable with her 100% of the time... Even your mother doesn't want some mamby pamby sissy boy for a husband. The key is to not be afraid of offending a woman, but still treating her like a woman when the time is right. The problem rears up when a man stops being himself around a woman and tries to please her all the time. Don't be a jerk to her, but don't mind all your P's and Q's either. If you don't want to do something with her, either bargain with something you want to do also or just tell her you don't want to. If you disagree with her, tell her so. When you're out on the town, open doors for her, pull out her seat, tell her she looks good, tell her you like a certain piece of clothing. When you take her home or even on the date... make a move... Nice guys (that want to get women) make the first moves, but they're not overly pushy.Sand said:Thanks guys!
I really appreciate your feedback.
Actually, I just turned 22 so I'm not that young lol
The thing is that I'm a mama's boy and I have never been successful with women. My mom has always told me to treat women with respect blah blah blah. I'm honestly tired of that because it hasn't gotten me anywhere!
I haven't made a move because I didn't know if there was a time frame I had to wait after a break up...
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.