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Should A Man Lead & Arrange All The Dates?

soulforge

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Pretty simple question.. In a casual/plate/sex type situation, who should make most of the effort to arrange the meet up?

The man every time? I understand a man should lead, but is she not likely to lose attraction, if the man is making 100% of the effort to meet/hook up?

Isn't it better to let her reach out from time to time, this way you have a better insight of her interest level.
 

CoandaEffect

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You should not arrange all the dates, you need to arrange the first two or three and then back away and see what she does. If she is really into you she will start to chase you.

My first three dates are, drink, walk, my place for dinner. Assuming it gets that far I don’t ask for a fourth date, it is up to her to do that. Maybe I miss out on some action that way but it also saves me from putting effort into women that are not really that into me.
 

SW15

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You should not arrange all the dates, you need to arrange the first two or three and then back away and see what she does. If she is really into you she will start to chase you.

My first three dates are, drink, walk, my place for dinner. Assuming it gets that far I don’t ask for a fourth date, it is up to her to do that. Maybe I miss out on some action that way but it also saves me from putting effort into women that are not really that into me.
In situations where the goal is either casual/plating or extended monogamous committed, the man is going to end up planning the first 3 dates at least. Beyond that, in either situation, it'd be good to see the woman actually contibuting to planning get together. It's more essential in the longer term committed scenarios though.
 

Dr.Suave

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I dont mind initiating as long as she always says yes.
 

SW15

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I dont mind initiating as long as she always says yes.
I do like when the burden shifts from being 100% on me to initiate and plan outings to having a woman actually contribute to that.

For men who constantly are in the early stages of dating, they never get to realize that.
 

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2Rocky

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If I ask, I plan, I transport, I pay. What is so hard about that?
 

HaleyBaron

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Pattern seems to be I set up the first two, and then the woman suddenly starts planning everything cause she wants more.
 

soulforge

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So far i have planned the 4 dates.. we have smashed on all four of them.

However it's getting to the stage where I want her to make an effort too, so my plan is to stop asking and let her ask to meet...

If she doesn't... Well it's low IL which means I find better suitable plates and let her drop.

The problem with always making the effort is, that these girls get too comfortable and stop appreciating your free time.

She will say yes to that date, but on the days that suite her best.
 

BackInTheGame78

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So far i have planned the 4 dates.. we have smashed on all four of them.

However it's getting to the stage where I want her to make an effort too, so my plan is to stop asking and let her ask to meet...

If she doesn't... Well it's low IL which means I find better suitable plates and let her drop.

The problem with always making the effort is, that these girls get too comfortable and stop appreciating your free time.

She will say yes to that date, but on the days that suite her best.
Now I see how people fvck themselves out of dates and lays and potential.

Analyzing every little thing.

You have been on 4 dates, she has fvcked you all 4 times. Yet OP still concludes she probably has low IL.

This can't be real life anymore.
 

Zimbabwe

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I dont mind initiating as long as she always says yes.
Eventually it gets to a point where you just have implied dates on certain nights, and the guy no longer needs to ask.
 

Zimbabwe

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Now I see how people fvck themselves out of dates and lays and potential.

Analyzing every little thing.

You have been on 4 dates, she has fvcked you all 4 times. Yet OP still concludes she probably has low IL.

This can't be real life anymore.
Aren't you the same guy simping over @sarnant in the other thread?
 

soulforge

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Now I see how people fvck themselves out of dates and lays and potential.

Analyzing every little thing.

You have been on 4 dates, she has fvcked you all 4 times. Yet OP still concludes she probably has low IL.

This can't be real life anymore.
Nah dude... You think ****ing her 4x is a win?

I'm thinking of the bigger picture here... It should at some point become mutual effort on both parties to meet or hook up.

You the guy who is reaching out every single time, every weekend, for 10 years straight lol prepare yourself to take a big L further down the line
 

Robert28

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Now I see how people fvck themselves out of dates and lays and potential.

Analyzing every little thing.

You have been on 4 dates, she has fvcked you all 4 times. Yet OP still concludes she probably has low IL.

This can't be real life anymore.
I mean I got a “hell yes” response to a date and guess what, haven’t heard from her since I’ve texted twice to set something up and nothing but silence. Got my “hell yes!” though for whatever that’s worth. Not much apparently these days.lol
 

SW15

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Now I see how people fvck themselves out of dates and lays and potential.

Analyzing every little thing.

You have been on 4 dates, she has fvcked you all 4 times. Yet OP still concludes she probably has low IL.

This can't be real life anymore.
This is a good point. Anyone who has been in a situation of having 4 dates with the same woman and having sex on all 4 dates is doing well. At that point, the mindset is to let the good times keep rolling.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean I got a “hell yes” response to a date and guess what, haven’t heard from her since I’ve texted twice to set something up and nothing but silence. Got my “hell yes!” though for whatever that’s worth. Not much apparently these days.lol
Right...because a text response is the same as fvcking someone numerous times.

You serious with this?
 

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BackInTheGame78

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Nah dude... You think ****ing her 4x is a win?

I'm thinking of the bigger picture here... It should at some point become mutual effort on both parties to meet or hook up.

You the guy who is reaching out every single time, every weekend, for 10 years straight lol prepare yourself to take a big L further down the line
Long term doesn't come into play until after multiple months.

If it's that big of a problem then sit down and talk to her about it. You know. Communicate. I know that's so "beta" to sit down and actually talk to someone like an adult tho right?

Not everything needs to be some sort of game.
 

Robert28

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Right...because a text response is the same as fvcking someone numerous times.

You serious with this?
My point was in response to your comment about “analyzing every little thing”. Texting is EVERYTHING these days. It’s one thing I’ve had to adjust to. If you’re texting just to set up dates, you’re going to get minimal results these days. It’s just the way it is.
 

BackInTheGame78

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My point was in response to your comment about “analyzing every little thing”. Texting is EVERYTHING these days. It’s one thing I’ve had to adjust to. If you’re texting just to set up dates, you’re going to get minimal results these days. It’s just the way it is.
Texting is only a means to get her to meet you in person. Yes it can help build rapport and get her excited to see you in between dates but at the end of the day it's done to continue with her seeing you in person.

It sounds like you didn't even go on a date with that woman so it's kind of irrelevant to the OPs situation.
 

soulforge

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Okay so date five was arranged by me, and as per usual we smashed at my house.

She did kind of mention on passing that Saturday's was meeting me days .

However it's Wednesday now. Do I reach out again, and ask her to meet, or let her reach out on this occasion
 
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