"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Short story. Would be glad to hear your opinions

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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wootapotky

Senior Don Juan
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You need to find your voice. That's the most important thing besides a good story. Right now your writing is kind of generic, grammar and the minor tweaks here and there can be fixed with an editor, but you need to find your voice.

Unless you come up with an amazing story there's nothing that is captivating, nothing that's hooking the reader in to your story. If you find that voice you probably could be a professional writer.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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SinJester

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Held my interest, but it's too short to judge, not that I am sure how much my criticism would be worth in any case. It's intriguing thats for sure, but it's left wide open to interpretation.

I figure I've got the wrong audience here XD
LOL yes I think so! I'm sure there's much better forums for this type of thing :p


One short story I found very interesting is by Neil Gaiman (author of Stardust) here.
 
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