She wants a second public date before coming to my place.

[TheNewStyle123]

Everyone ignored my comment in favor of "quality girl"...

My man @Velasco knew the whole damn time! hahahaha. Well dude, you were spot on.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Update:

Well, that went horribly guys. Not sure if I fuucked up. But here's how it went:

She came over, plenty of kino during the night, she was totally into it etc. After a few drinks, great convo, and dinner we are making out on the couch for a while and I try to progress things. Once again she stops me. We continue to sit and talk, occasional kino and escalation - but she again continues to stop things from progressing (sucking her tits at the most). At some point she asks me "so, how many girls do you have come over and cook for?" I responded "you're my first.." She rolled her eyes and laughed and said "come on, really?" I then said "you mean just this week? Or tonight?" She again laughed.

We cont. to make out then I call her a tease (not in an insulting way, I explain I meant I liked how she was teasing me, but I guess she took it like that) and she shuts down. Then she starts getting angry and saying the whole night has just been about sex and questioning my 'intentions', and all of this other BS.

She then says she should probably leave and at this point I'm so turned off and a little irritated that I agree. As she walks to the door and I go to walk her out she says "all you have been doing all night is groping me (which btw she was enjoying previously) and then you call me a tease. I am offended." She then storms out of my place.

Maybe I shouldn't of said those things or called her a 'tease'?

Idk guys.. to be honest I feel pretty shiity right now. Did I fuuck up or did I dodge a bullet and this chick is kind of crazy? IMO she was once again trying to power move me and when things finally escalated and it wasn't in her frame she decided to flip it on me and make me feel like a shallow creep only out to get one thing.. when the rest of the night was really fun.

What do you guys think? Just feeling crappy right now..

My take:

In woman Ese she said you were way too aggressive. Kino is a no no I have no idea why men subscribe to that bullshvt. You have to wait for women to break the touch barrier, then you slowly reciprocate with some escalation. If she pulls back, you stop.

Yes, calling her a tease was an insult. That is a put down. From her point of view, she sacrificed her safety to come to your house, you groped her for an hour or more, then called her a tease for not being able to fvck her dry pvssy.

Gotta work on your seduction game a bit my friend. “Kino” while cooking looks like bumping and some play fighting. Not groping..

 

[TheNewStyle123]

My take:

In woman Ese she said you were way too aggressive. Kino is a no no I have no idea why men subscribe to that bullshvt. You have to wait for women to break the touch barrier, then you slowly reciprocate with some escalation. If she pulls back, you stop.

Yes, calling her a tease was an insult. That is a put down. From her point of view, she sacrificed her safety to come to your house, you groped her for an hour or more, then called her a tease for not being able to fvck her dry pvssy.

Gotta work on your seduction game a bit my friend. “Kino” while cooking looks like bumping and some play fighting. Not groping..

You make a fair point. I guess I thought we had already kind of broken that barrier since last time we were at her place we had already escalated to that point (and more). Plus, the entire time this was happening throughout the night she was enjoying it. But, I see how that could be seen by her as "all I wanted" since it happened throughout the night.

Well, that was a learning lesson. Could of probably played my cards better and actually of gotten a buck out of it.

Do you suggest just blocking her number and not contacting her anymore?

 

[derby1]

We cont. to make out then I call her a tease (not in an insulting way, I explain I meant I liked how she was teasing me, but I guess she took it like that) and she shuts down. Then she starts getting angry and saying the whole night has just been about sex and questioning my 'intentions', and all of this other BS.

Low self esteem, Narcissist, you crumbled her ego, by playing her up, a healthy minded woman would have not responded this way.

I recently told my daughters mom the word "NO" .......good god she sent me paragraphs of DM's "asking me who the hell I think I am" ,

yet when I ask her how our daughter is she doesnt respond!

this is what simps have done to their minds men, they cannot handle anything.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

No. Don't delete or block her #. The 'delete/block her #' advice is terrible. It's a butthurt way of dealing with things.

This girl isn't psycho. There's nothing wrong with her. You messed up, as @EyeBRollin said. Nothing to be ashamed about. We've all done it before. Just learn from it.

Have you heard from her since Friday night?

If you haven't reached out to her since then, this could be salvageable.

I agree. I did not block or delete her number. That's just not me - I would never want to burn a bridge or anything like that. I have not reached out since then. I have noticed she has been watching my instagram stories though.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Low self esteem, Narcissist, you crumbled her ego, by playing her up, a healthy minded woman would have not responded this way.

I recently told my daughters mom the word "NO" .......good god she sent me paragraphs of DM's "asking me who the hell I think I am" ,

yet when I ask her how our daughter is she doesnt respond!

this is what simps have done to their minds men, they cannot handle anything.

I agree dude. Like I said, there were some other yellow flags throughout the night(s) that made me think she could be a little crazy/power hungry. When we were at her house on Wednesday and we were making out and things were getting hot and heavy I made a joke about her being strong, or being able to beat a guy up or something like that (honestly, can't remember exactly what I said), and she open palm slapped me across the face... not hard enough to make my head turn but it wasn't light either.

Immediately she looked at me and said "I'm sorry... was that too much?"

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

What's up guys.

Went on a date yesterday to a local spot with a new girl. Date went really well - we each got one drink and she even offered to split the bill (I thanked her but paid the bill, after all it was only one drink). We then went for a walk, I initiated kino for most of the date, conversation was good, and we ended up making out a few times during the remainder of the date.

I invited her to my place this Wednesday night for dinner (and she would bring us some wine). I have not had a girl yet that I have met in person want to meet up a second time prior coming to my place, but this girl asked if we could meet up again in a public setting prior to coming to my apartment. She said it's not that she "doesn't feel comfortable", but "it's just not something I usually do on date #2, I would like to get to know you a little bit better if that's ok."

IL seemed very high on the date and still does, I am just not sure if this is a characteristic of a more quality girl vs. what I have been used to from OLD (some have come to my place either on the first date, or most have come to my place for a second date after getting a drink or coffee first).

Definitely interested in seeing her again though. HB 7.5, really sweet, great conversation, similar interests, well put together, etc. My plan is to meet up with her again in person this Wednesday for another drink. This time, if/when she offers to split the bill I will accept.

What do you guys think?

I have no problem with it. Let it ride playboy.

IMHO I do coffee. Not dinner. Invite to my place is for a movie. I actually bought a WII years ago and dance dance Rev as a college kid. Used it not 1x myself. can't dance a5 gunpoint lulz but it was superb after party shtick.

My point is that dinner is more courtship. I go casual. I pull and let things play. Do your thing playboy. It sounds like it's going well. Enjoy.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I agree. I did not block or delete her number. That's just not me - I would never want to burn a bridge or anything like that. I have not reached out since then. I have noticed she has been watching my instagram stories though.

I block and delete. hell I troll too.

 

[FuzzX]

you guys like to play with fire huh?

 

[derby1]

@TheNewStyle123 text her Tuesday and invite her to the bar near your place that you've mentioned previously. Aim for Thursday after work.

she will rape charge him bro, the writings on the wall with how sensitive she is. This is why you playfully criticise women, to test if shes had any masculine energy play her up before. Brothers play her her up when she was younger etc

 

[manfrombelow]

Update:

Well, that went horribly guys. Not sure if I fuucked up. But here's how it went:

She came over, plenty of kino during the night, she was totally into it etc. After a few drinks, great convo, and dinner we are making out on the couch for a while and I try to progress things. Once again she stops me. We continue to sit and talk, occasional kino and escalation - but she again continues to stop things from progressing (sucking her tits at the most). At some point she asks me "so, how many girls do you have come over and cook for?" I responded "you're my first.." She rolled her eyes and laughed and said "come on, really?" I then said "you mean just this week? Or tonight?" She again laughed.

We cont. to make out then I call her a tease (not in an insulting way, I explain I meant I liked how she was teasing me, but I guess she took it like that) and she shuts down. Then she starts getting angry and saying the whole night has just been about sex and questioning my 'intentions', and all of this other BS.

She then says she should probably leave and at this point I'm so turned off and a little irritated that I agree. As she walks to the door and I go to walk her out she says "all you have been doing all night is groping me (which btw she was enjoying previously) and then you call me a tease. I am offended." She then storms out of my place.

Maybe I shouldn't of said those things or called her a 'tease'?

Idk guys.. to be honest I feel pretty shiity right now. Did I fuuck up or did I dodge a bullet and this chick is kind of crazy? IMO she was once again trying to power move me and when things finally escalated and it wasn't in her frame she decided to flip it on me and make me feel like a shallow creep only out to get one thing.. when the rest of the night was really fun.

What do you guys think? Just feeling crappy right now..

In the past, I had women coming over my place and totally ghosted me afterwards, because I was too chickened and beta to make a sexual move. So you did NOTHING wrong, except the part where you called her a tease.

In my opinion, only after you've succesfully fvcked her can you call her a tease. But before that? Maybe the word triggered her Anti-Slut Defense System at the highest level, combined with the crazy nature of females, so she flipped out. You should take note.

For now? Stop contacting her and especially don't try texting her to say you're sorry. There was nothing to be sorry about actually apart from you didn't penetrate her that night.

 

[derby1]

whats that quote we have on this site about "its better for her to see you push for secs, than nothing at all?"

we have a one liner for it I cant remember?

 

[TheNewStyle123]

whats that quote we have on this site about "its better for her to see you push for secs, than nothing at all?"

we have a one liner for it I cant remember?

Rejection is better than regret!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

In the past, I had women coming over my place and totally ghosted me afterwards, because I was too chickened and beta to make a sexual move. So you did NOTHING wrong, except the part where you called her a tease.

In my opinion, only after you've succesfully fvcked her can you call her a tease. But before that? Maybe the word triggered her Anti-Slut Defense System at the highest level, combined with the crazy nature of females, so she flipped out. You should take note.

For now? Stop contacting her and especially don't try texting her to say you're sorry. There was nothing to be sorry about actually apart from you didn't penetrate her that night.

Thanks man - I agree! I would have rather of tried and had her deny me than not make any move. Either way, the situation would of ended the same. No sex. In this situation rejection is better than regret, and yeah my plan is no contact or apologizing. I know I didn't do anything wrong.

 

[derby1]

Rejection is better than regret!

we have another one Im sure it has the word aggressive in it, and something about the woman,

I remembered that one but thanks

 

[FuzzX]

Video games are better than herpes.

 

[Glassguy]

OP I think you played this just fine. Had you not escalated she would have friend zoned you. She put you in an awkward situation for acting like a man.

I dont expect a woman to submit until we've had sex several times......at minimum. But a tease will never submit because its a game to them for attention.

Not saying she is a tease, but she certainly gives off that vibe. In 2021 what woman would agree to come to your place and drink and not want to have sex? She is putting off multiple signals and that is frustrating enough.

I wouldnt necessarily next her at this point but I would apply silence and distance. If you never hear from her again that is fine, but if she reaches out its going to be a tough play. I think honesty is the best policy:
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: Look, I've had a good time with you but I am not sure we are on the same page sexually. I dont sleep around but I had thought we were mutually sexual with each other and the "groping" comment really turned me off.

Call her out in a non threatening way and see how she responds. At the most I would give this one more shot if any and that is only if she reaches out and seems remorseful for her behavior of making those statements insinuating that you acted in a wrong way with her.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

OP I think you played this just fine. Had you not escalated she would have friend zoned you. She put you in an awkward situation for acting like a man.

I dont expect a woman to submit until we've had sex several times......at minimum. But a tease will never submit because its a game to them for attention.

Not saying she is a tease, but she certainly gives off that vibe. In 2021 what woman would agree to come to your place and drink and not want to have sex? She is putting off multiple signals and that is frustrating enough.

I wouldnt necessarily next her at this point but I would apply silence and distance. If you never hear from her again that is fine, but if she reaches out its going to be a tough play. I think honesty is the best policy:
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: Look, I've had a good time with you but I am not sure we are on the same page sexually. I dont sleep around but I had thought we were mutually sexual with each other and the "groping" comment really turned me off.

Call her out in a non threatening way and see how she responds. At the most I would give this one more shot if any and that is only if she reaches out and seems remorseful for her behavior of making those statements insinuating that you acted in a wrong way with her.

Dude. This is GOLD. Thanks for the tip buddy - I have been trying to plan what to say if she reaches out again to be assertive, truthful, and blunt and that's an excellent response. It shows I am not admitting "guilt" because I didn't do anything wrong, while simultaneously putting the ball in her court and calling her out on BS.

 

[Glassguy]

Dude. This is GOLD. Thanks for the tip buddy - I have been trying to plan what to say if she reaches out again to be assertive, truthful, and blunt and that's an excellent response. It shows I am not admitting "guilt" because I didn't do anything wrong, while simultaneously putting the ball in her court and calling her out on BS.

While you dont want to come out and call her a tease (being covert is better than overt when dealing with women most of the time), you can imply it in a way that she will understand what you're saying.

I date/spin higher quality women. Ones that are attractive, educated (bachelor's degree +) and financially independent. Non smokers and absolutely no drug use (not even weed). They cant have young kids (toddlers). Those are my deal breakers. Not that I wont smash a few here and there that meet my criteria but they arent "dating material". As such, these women of higher quality know what they bring to the table and I dont expect their legs to fly open and pull me on top of them after buying 2 rounds of drinks on the first meet up. However if they do, I will smash and they turn into lower quality in my eyes.
That being said, I have no problems with a woman who doesnt put out on the first date.....or second date.....sometimes even a third date. As long as things are progressing, I will eventually get the goods and have fun on the dates until then.

However this woman was sexual, seductive, brought sex into the conversations, etc. That is totally different. As such she is being a tease. On top of that, she played the victim card after you acted accordingly and escalated for what you thought she wanted, based off of her actions and words.
Normally the victim card is instant dismissal as it shows that she is entitled, crazy or both. She can go play in traffic if she wants to play the poor me game. Not interested.

So I would advise you to play this SLOW and put the issue on her if she reaches out. Expect her to play the victim card again if she reaches out and you dump the proverbial shyte on top of her head. Thats ok too, you simply say "You are not what I am looking for and we arent compatible" and move on without any more conversation with her.
If it were me I would be done with her but still let her know whats up with her attitude on my way out. Its great for your self worth and self respect. A lot of these chicks need a dose of reality sometimes but I only give it to them when I am torching the bridge on my way out and have no intentions of ever speaking to them again.

Good luck.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

While you dont want to come out and call her a tease (being covert is better than overt when dealing with women most of the time), you can imply it in a way that she will understand what you're saying.

I date/spin higher quality women. Ones that are attractive, educated (bachelor's degree +) and financially independent. Non smokers and absolutely no drug use (not even weed). They cant have young kids (toddlers). Those are my deal breakers. Not that I wont smash a few here and there that meet my criteria but they arent "dating material". As such, these women of higher quality know what they bring to the table and I dont expect their legs to fly open and pull me on top of them after buying 2 rounds of drinks on the first meet up. However if they do, I will smash and they turn into lower quality in my eyes.
That being said, I have no problems with a woman who doesnt put out on the first date.....or second date.....sometimes even a third date. As long as things are progressing, I will eventually get the goods and have fun on the dates until then.

However this woman was sexual, seductive, brought sex into the conversations, etc. That is totally different. As such she is being a tease. On top of that, she played the victim card after you acted accordingly and escalated for what you thought she wanted, based off of her actions and words.
Normally the victim card is instant dismissal as it shows that she is entitled, crazy or both. She can go play in traffic if she wants to play the poor me game. Not interested.

So I would advise you to play this SLOW and put the issue on her if she reaches out. Expect her to play the victim card again if she reaches out and you dump the proverbial shyte on top of her head. Thats ok too, you simply say "You are not what I am looking for and we arent compatible" and move on without any more conversation with her.
If it were me I would be done with her but still let her know whats up with her attitude on my way out. Its great for your self worth and self respect. A lot of these chicks need a dose of reality sometimes but I only give it to them when I am torching the bridge on my way out and have no intentions of ever speaking to them again.

Good luck.

Very well said man thank you. I totally agree about the part where she was initiating a lot of sexually charged things (through convo, kino, practically begging to come to my place for our third date before our 2nd date was even over, etc.) then suddenly she was the 'victim' because I made a move accordingly.

I like the idea of saying something about her attitude regardless of what happens. Do you suggest going out of my way to text her about her attitude, or only say anything if she reaches out to me?