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She Requested a Raincheck. How to Mitigate Flakes in the Future?

nicksaiz65

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Met a girl through a social circle introduction. I won’t write too much about her(I have a whole separate thread involving that) but long story short is she seemed pretty high interest and there was definitely a sexual frame set. She even Snapchat closed me before I even asked.

When we all went out, the logistics weren’t really there to close her that same night. So I decided that my best course of action would be to attempt to set up a Day 2.

From my experimenting in the field, I’ve learned that a more straight to the point, text for logistics style works for me instead of trying to text a bunch of fancy, gamey stuff like some PUAs do. This is just my preference though.

I don’t have the exact Snapchat messages, because I can’t screenshot them. But I’ll paraphrase them. First, I hit up her Snapchat.

———-
Snapchat
Me: Last night was great. Loved your vibe!
Her: Thanks. It was a great time ;)
Me: It’s too bad that most of the beers in our flight sucked tho
Her: Ikr? It’s so hit or miss sometimes :rofl:
Me: I was so disappointed by the Wild Stallion lol
Me: Do you like wine?
Her: I love it. Wine is actually my preference :D
Me: Perfect. I just picked up a bottle of wine from (local winery.) We should split it together, I have a game room we can kick it in as well.

(The game room is literally in my apartment complex so it would make for a very easy pull.)

Her: I’d definitely be down!
Me: Awesome, when are you free?
Her: Maybe Wednesday? :)
Me: Awesome, let’s make it happen :D
Me: Shoot me your number and I’ll shoot you a text!

(I wait a day, and then text her.)

Text Message
Me: Hey this is Nick. Hope you’re having a good day today
Her: Hey! I actually took a sick day. I think it’s a sinus infection or something. Y’all girl is struggling lol
Her: How was your day?
Me: Sorry to hear you’re feeling sick! Hope you feel better soon
Me: And it was great. I demoed my part of our product to the customer today. Im at the gym at the last minute rn lol
Me: You think you’re feeling well enough to kick it tomorrow at all? :)
Her(later): I think I’m gonna take a rain check on that!
Me:You’re good hope you feel better soon:up:
——-

So that was the text game interaction.

I’d like to ask what I could’ve done better here. I don’t really understand why a girl would flake after showing pretty decent interest in person? Wondering if there’s something technically that I could improve on, or if I should just attribute this to women’s craziness and randomness.

I go on Snapchat afterwards, and I see her posting a story about her new record on the leg press today. So yeah… I’m pretty sure this lead is dead. I could try to reach out later but who knows. I don’t even know if I should haha. Not sure if I went wrong somewhere?

I’m going to start double stacking dates like JMULV says, but I think it’s good to try and lower my flake rate too if at all possible.

Another question I’m thinking of is, how long should I wait to reach out to try to setup another date if a girl gives you an excuse like this?

Would just like to get some feedback to see if there’s anything I could’ve done differently after the in person interaction: to mitigate this flaking in the future.
 

Zimbabwe

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It's likely that she just enjoyed the attention, while never intending on pursuing something romantic.
 

Sleeperhead

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Met a girl through a social circle introduction. I won’t write too much about her(I have a whole separate thread involving that) but long story short is she seemed pretty high interest and there was definitely a sexual frame set. She even Snapchat closed me before I even asked.

When we all went out, the logistics weren’t really there to close her that same night. So I decided that my best course of action would be to attempt to set up a Day 2.

From my experimenting in the field, I’ve learned that a more straight to the point, text for logistics style works for me instead of trying to text a bunch of fancy, gamey stuff like some PUAs do. This is just my preference though.

I don’t have the exact Snapchat messages, because I can’t screenshot them. But I’ll paraphrase them. First, I hit up her Snapchat.

———-
Snapchat
Me: Last night was great. Loved your vibe!
Her: Thanks. It was a great time ;)
Me: It’s too bad that most of the beers in our flight sucked tho
Her: Ikr? It’s so hit or miss sometimes :rofl:
Me: I was so disappointed by the Wild Stallion lol
Me: Do you like wine?
Her: I love it. Wine is actually my preference :D
Me: Perfect. I just picked up a bottle of wine from (local winery.) We should split it together, I have a game room we can kick it in as well.

(The game room is literally in my apartment complex so it would make for a very easy pull.)

Her: I’d definitely be down!
Me: Awesome, when are you free?
Her: Maybe Wednesday? :)
Me: Awesome, let’s make it happen :D
Me: Shoot me your number and I’ll shoot you a text!

(I wait a day, and then text her.)

Text Message
Me: Hey this is Nick. Hope you’re having a good day today
Her: Hey! I actually took a sick day. I think it’s a sinus infection or something. Y’all girl is struggling lol
Her: How was your day?
Me: Sorry to hear you’re feeling sick! Hope you feel better soon
Me: And it was great. I demoed my part of our product to the customer today. Im at the gym at the last minute rn lol
Me: You think you’re feeling well enough to kick it tomorrow at all? :)
Her(later): I think I’m gonna take a rain check on that!
Me:You’re good hope you feel better soon:up:
——-

So that was the text game interaction.

I’d like to ask what I could’ve done better here. I don’t really understand why a girl would flake after showing pretty decent interest in person? Wondering if there’s something technically that I could improve on, or if I should just attribute this to women’s craziness and randomness.

I go on Snapchat afterwards, and I see her posting a story about her new record on the leg press today. So yeah… I’m pretty sure this lead is dead. I could try to reach out later but who knows. I don’t even know if I should haha. Not sure if I went wrong somewhere?

I’m going to start double stacking dates like JMULV says, but I think it’s good to try and lower my flake rate too if at all possible.

Another question I’m thinking of is, how long should I wait to reach out to try to setup another date if a girl gives you an excuse like this?

Would just like to get some feedback to see if there’s anything I could’ve done differently after the in person interaction: to mitigate this flaking in the future.
You have too much of a nice guy vibe. Drop all the hi I had a great time and hope you’re doing well nonesense. And the smiley faces.

You also chased her too hard and pushed for a second date way too quick. Like the dust has barely settled on your previous date and you’re already trying to arrange another one. You need to give space. Women are very selective and require time to process things.

Imagine the roles reversed you went out with someone you were unsure of and they were triple texting you to try and arrange a meet-up.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Aren’t you in Nashville? Dating in Nashville is basically super hard mode and it will wear you down attrition wise. In Nashville, you need to go for sex on the first date ALWAYS!
 

SW15

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You have too much of a nice guy vibe. Drop all the hi I had a great time and hope you’re doing well nonesense. And the smiley faces.

You also chased her too hard and pushed for a second date way too quick. Like the dust has barely settled on your previous date and you’re already trying to arrange another one. You need to give space. Women are very selective and require time to process things.

Imagine the roles reversed you went out with someone you were unsure of and they were triple texting you to try and arrange a meet-up.
This is perfect. I agree with all of this. No triple texting.

I’m going to start double stacking dates like JMULV says, but I think it’s good to try and lower my flake rate too if at all possible.
You don't need to double stack dates. You do need to up your number of prospects so as to engage in less thirsty behavior. No triple texting and no pleasantries in text. In the early stages, it's a good idea to schedule dates on consecutive nights (one date Tuesday night, followed by a date with a different woman Wednesday night). Dates on consecutive nights is abundance. It's more difficult to set up dates on back-to-back nights with real life stranger approaching than swipe apps in my experience, though the swipe apps dates you would set up would be more likely to be lower quality, garbage dates.

Spin more plates is always good advice.
 

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BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like typical chick stuff where she is cool to play along until she has to meet or make an effort then bounces.

Low interest unless she proves otherwise.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
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You have too much of a nice guy vibe. Drop all the hi I had a great time and hope you’re doing well nonesense. And the smiley faces.

You also chased her too hard and pushed for a second date way too quick. Like the dust has barely settled on your previous date and you’re already trying to arrange another one. You need to give space. Women are very selective and require time to process things.

Imagine the roles reversed you went out with someone you were unsure of and they were triple texting you to try and arrange a meet-up.
I’ve gotten that feedback before, that I come across as too nice. That’s something I’ll work on cleaning up over time.

I suppose it would be possible to think about the first interaction like that. I had a previous thread about this: I got invited out for a social outing, my friend introduced me to this girl, and there was definitely a sexual vibe.

So my questions would be: how long should I have waited before contacting her for a date? And after she pulls a rain check like this, how long do you wait before contacting her and trying to set up another date?

Yes, I do agree that a triple text comes off as needy. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing these things. My thinking was I was going to break one super long message up into smaller ones.

I’m assuming that I should’ve spaced the messages out and waited for a reply in between each one. It almost feels like a small detail to me, but I can see how it could easily come across as needy.
 

nicksaiz65

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Aren’t you in Nashville? Dating in Nashville is basically super hard mode and it will wear you down attrition wise. In Nashville, you need to go for sex on the first date ALWAYS!
I do live close to Nashville and I game there pretty often. Nashville is the closest major city to me.

I agree with going for the first date sex. That’s my policy in general. Unfortunately in this situation, there wasn’t really an opportunity. So in this case, since the logistics are against me, attempting to set up a Day 2 is the best I can do.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
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This is perfect. I agree with all of this. No triple texting.



You don't need to double stack dates. You do need to up your number of prospects so as to engage in less thirsty behavior. No triple texting and no pleasantries in text. In the early stages, it's a good idea to schedule dates on consecutive nights (one date Tuesday night, followed by a date with a different woman Wednesday night). Dates on consecutive nights is abundance. It's more difficult to set up dates on back-to-back nights with real life stranger approaching than swipe apps in my experience, though the swipe apps dates you would set up would be more likely to be lower quality, garbage dates.

Spin more plates is always good advice.
Alright, sounds like a plan. I’ll learn from this and tighten up the text game further.

Yeah, it seems to all be the same idea. Just more prospects in my pipeline solves a lot of the problems. Of course, I need to identify the weak spots in my game that cause the funnel to close off as well. I’m a much bigger fan of the dates set up from in person interactions.

I just need to go out more consistently and do more approaches. That leads to spinning more plates.
 

nicksaiz65

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Low interest. Let her reach out. If she doesnt, you know what´s what
Sounds like typical chick stuff where she is cool to play along until she has to meet or make an effort then bounces.

Low interest unless she proves otherwise.
It’s crazy how women will be decent interest one moment and then they’ll be low interest/won’t meet the next. I suppose this is just the randomness of women.

I’m thinking the solution is to just get more leads in my pipeline like @SW15 says.
 

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Met a girl through a social circle introduction. I won’t write too much about her(I have a whole separate thread involving that) but long story short is she seemed pretty high interest and there was definitely a sexual frame set. She even Snapchat closed me before I even asked.

When we all went out, the logistics weren’t really there to close her that same night. So I decided that my best course of action would be to attempt to set up a Day 2.

From my experimenting in the field, I’ve learned that a more straight to the point, text for logistics style works for me instead of trying to text a bunch of fancy, gamey stuff like some PUAs do. This is just my preference though.

I don’t have the exact Snapchat messages, because I can’t screenshot them. But I’ll paraphrase them. First, I hit up her Snapchat.

———-
Snapchat
Me: Last night was great. Loved your vibe!
Her: Thanks. It was a great time ;)
Me: It’s too bad that most of the beers in our flight sucked tho
Her: Ikr? It’s so hit or miss sometimes :rofl:
Me: I was so disappointed by the Wild Stallion lol
Me: Do you like wine?
Her: I love it. Wine is actually my preference :D
Me: Perfect. I just picked up a bottle of wine from (local winery.) We should split it together, I have a game room we can kick it in as well.

(The game room is literally in my apartment complex so it would make for a very easy pull.)

Her: I’d definitely be down!
Me: Awesome, when are you free?
Her: Maybe Wednesday? :)
Me: Awesome, let’s make it happen :D
Me: Shoot me your number and I’ll shoot you a text!

(I wait a day, and then text her.)

Text Message
Me: Hey this is Nick. Hope you’re having a good day today
Her: Hey! I actually took a sick day. I think it’s a sinus infection or something. Y’all girl is struggling lol
Her: How was your day?
Me: Sorry to hear you’re feeling sick! Hope you feel better soon
Me: And it was great. I demoed my part of our product to the customer today. Im at the gym at the last minute rn lol
Me: You think you’re feeling well enough to kick it tomorrow at all? :)
Her(later): I think I’m gonna take a rain check on that!
Me:You’re good hope you feel better soon:up:
——-

So that was the text game interaction.

I’d like to ask what I could’ve done better here. I don’t really understand why a girl would flake after showing pretty decent interest in person? Wondering if there’s something technically that I could improve on, or if I should just attribute this to women’s craziness and randomness.

I go on Snapchat afterwards, and I see her posting a story about her new record on the leg press today. So yeah… I’m pretty sure this lead is dead. I could try to reach out later but who knows. I don’t even know if I should haha. Not sure if I went wrong somewhere?

I’m going to start double stacking dates like JMULV says, but I think it’s good to try and lower my flake rate too if at all possible.

Another question I’m thinking of is, how long should I wait to reach out to try to setup another date if a girl gives you an excuse like this?

Would just like to get some feedback to see if there’s anything I could’ve done differently after the in person interaction: to mitigate this flaking in the future.
She gave no counter offer which screams low interest. I would not contact her again. If she reaches out then try to setup another date. You could also wait a couple weeks and try to setup a date again but I would move on if it was me.
 

KingTurbo

Don Juan
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Florida
Met a girl through a social circle introduction. I won’t write too much about her(I have a whole separate thread involving that) but long story short is she seemed pretty high interest and there was definitely a sexual frame set. She even Snapchat closed me before I even asked.

When we all went out, the logistics weren’t really there to close her that same night. So I decided that my best course of action would be to attempt to set up a Day 2.

From my experimenting in the field, I’ve learned that a more straight to the point, text for logistics style works for me instead of trying to text a bunch of fancy, gamey stuff like some PUAs do. This is just my preference though.

I don’t have the exact Snapchat messages, because I can’t screenshot them. But I’ll paraphrase them. First, I hit up her Snapchat.

———-
Snapchat
Me: Last night was great. Loved your vibe!
Her: Thanks. It was a great time ;)
Me: It’s too bad that most of the beers in our flight sucked tho
Her: Ikr? It’s so hit or miss sometimes :rofl:
Me: I was so disappointed by the Wild Stallion lol
Me: Do you like wine?
Her: I love it. Wine is actually my preference :D
Me: Perfect. I just picked up a bottle of wine from (local winery.) We should split it together, I have a game room we can kick it in as well.

(The game room is literally in my apartment complex so it would make for a very easy pull.)

Her: I’d definitely be down!
Me: Awesome, when are you free?
Her: Maybe Wednesday? :)
Me: Awesome, let’s make it happen :D
Me: Shoot me your number and I’ll shoot you a text!

(I wait a day, and then text her.)

Text Message
Me: Hey this is Nick. Hope you’re having a good day today
Her: Hey! I actually took a sick day. I think it’s a sinus infection or something. Y’all girl is struggling lol
Her: How was your day?
Me: Sorry to hear you’re feeling sick! Hope you feel better soon
Me: And it was great. I demoed my part of our product to the customer today. Im at the gym at the last minute rn lol
Me: You think you’re feeling well enough to kick it tomorrow at all? :)
Her(later): I think I’m gonna take a rain check on that!
Me:You’re good hope you feel better soon:up:
——-

So that was the text game interaction.

I’d like to ask what I could’ve done better here. I don’t really understand why a girl would flake after showing pretty decent interest in person? Wondering if there’s something technically that I could improve on, or if I should just attribute this to women’s craziness and randomness.

I go on Snapchat afterwards, and I see her posting a story about her new record on the leg press today. So yeah… I’m pretty sure this lead is dead. I could try to reach out later but who knows. I don’t even know if I should haha. Not sure if I went wrong somewhere?

I’m going to start double stacking dates like JMULV says, but I think it’s good to try and lower my flake rate too if at all possible.

Another question I’m thinking of is, how long should I wait to reach out to try to setup another date if a girl gives you an excuse like this?

Would just like to get some feedback to see if there’s anything I could’ve done differently after the in person interaction: to mitigate this flaking in the future.
Everything is sounding way too beta for me. It started as soon as you started complaining. Women don't want a man who complains. Her female nature is telling her to back off. (If he is complaining to me about the beer, what will he complain about to me when crap hits the fan? Will be protect me?)Then you spoiled her with "I hope you feel better" sob story giving her attention and all. She can smell it. Don't complain. I would have just let it at "I had a good time. I want to do it again sometime" done.

Wait, you can meet girls on snapchat? how? (Been out of the game for 8 years, Married)
 

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CptRomn

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lets hang (enter date )...thats it. You sound like a gay best friend jesus
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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I do live close to Nashville and I game there pretty often. Nashville is the closest major city to me.

I agree with going for the first date sex. That’s my policy in general. Unfortunately in this situation, there wasn’t really an opportunity. So in this case, since the logistics are against me, attempting to set up a Day 2 is the best I can do.
then your sex life will be drier than ashy elbows my friend lol. You should probably aim for a LTR then.
 

Sleeperhead

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I’ve gotten that feedback before, that I come across as too nice. That’s something I’ll work on cleaning up over time.

I suppose it would be possible to think about the first interaction like that. I had a previous thread about this: I got invited out for a social outing, my friend introduced me to this girl, and there was definitely a sexual vibe.

So my questions would be: how long should I have waited before contacting her for a date? And after she pulls a rain check like this, how long do you wait before contacting her and trying to set up another date?

Yes, I do agree that a triple text comes off as needy. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing these things. My thinking was I was going to break one super long message up into smaller ones.

I’m assuming that I should’ve spaced the messages out and waited for a reply in between each one. It almost feels like a small detail to me, but I can see how it could easily come across as needy.
Girls are temperamental. Their interest levels are only relevant to what they feel in the present moment. Heck I was talking to a girl one day and she went through literally every stage of attraction possible in the space of a couple of hours. Granted she was crazy, but all girls are like this to some extent. The only thing that applies is how they are in the present moment.

Texting is a pain sometimes because you can't read a girl's body language. You really have to read between the lines and try and gauge her interest level. Ask yourself how would she act and respond if she was truly interested. She says "maybe" wednesday. Now this isn't a girl who is 100% interested. You completely miss it and carry on setting up plans thinking she wants it... whoops. You don't want to make plans with a girl who is uncertain that she wants to meet. Ask her what she means by maybe, you want her in or out. Rejection is better than being strung along.

Of course there is a precedent for this i.e. you showing over eagerness by texting her the very next day. You need to wait a couple of days at least to get her thinking about you, you are communicating that you are interested, but aren't head over heels with her.

Lastly, you need to withdraw from this girl. She is feigning illness because she doesn't want to go out with you. There is a chance that she will come back around, but it could take time and you will probably screw up again, and it will be extremely frustrating. It's best to turn your attention elsewhere. Don't initiate again, and don't try and make plans again.
 
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