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She Requested a Raincheck. How to Mitigate Flakes in the Future?

Murk

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I can't really add to what's been said about your texting style and eagerness.

What I would say, is possibly she is sick and your last message should have been "cool, hit me up when you feel better" then never message again, she either reaches out to reschedule or you forget about her. If she's sick, she isn't really able to reschedule imo. "Cool, hit me up when you feel better" and ghost is the only response to that kind of flake/text.
 

RobbyDog

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You have too much of a nice guy vibe. Drop all the hi I had a great time and hope you’re doing well nonesense. And the smiley faces.

You also chased her too hard and pushed for a second date way too quick. Like the dust has barely settled on your previous date and you’re already trying to arrange another one. You need to give space. Women are very selective and require time to process things.

Imagine the roles reversed you went out with someone you were unsure of and they were triple texting you to try and arrange a meet-up.
This. Also you should be waiting for her to reach out first after the date. You went to the effort of setting up the date (and probably paid for it too)…she should be reaching out and thanking YOU. I find many women don’t do this bc they’ve got so many thirsty simps blowing up their phones. If she doesn’t hear from you, she’ll wonder, which is what you want.


I’m not really a fan of timing rules in general, but asking for a second date the next day SCREAMS neediness.

On a side note, you’ve got to love this flakey BS female behaviour where they don’t say yes but also don’t have the guts to say no…they’d rather bask in the glory of you continually chasing them than be honest.
 

2Rocky

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Hmmmm, you know what I DON'T see? The response from the backup girl... The one you have kept on the back burner for when another one flakes....

What did your flake see on your snapChat? (if she even cared) it wasn't two glasses of wine by the fire was it?


Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!” And the guy rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and Scotch and had tons of money in the bank and slept with lots of different women and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted and lived happily ever after. The End.
 

nicksaiz65

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Girls are temperamental. Their interest levels are only relevant to what they feel in the present moment. Heck I was talking to a girl one day and she went through literally every stage of attraction possible in the space of a couple of hours. Granted she was crazy, but all girls are like this to some extent. The only thing that applies is how they are in the present moment.

Texting is a pain sometimes because you can't read a girl's body language. You really have to read between the lines and try and gauge her interest level. Ask yourself how would she act and respond if she was truly interested. She says "maybe" wednesday. Now this isn't a girl who is 100% interested. You completely miss it and carry on setting up plans thinking she wants it... whoops. You don't want to make plans with a girl who is uncertain that she wants to meet. Ask her what she means by maybe, you want her in or out. Rejection is better than being strung along.

Of course there is a precedent for this i.e. you showing over eagerness by texting her the very next day. You need to wait a couple of days at least to get her thinking about you, you are communicating that you are interested, but aren't head over heels with her.

Lastly, you need to withdraw from this girl. She is feigning illness because she doesn't want to go out with you. There is a chance that she will come back around, but it could take time and you will probably screw up again, and it will be extremely frustrating. It's best to turn your attention elsewhere. Don't initiate again, and don't try and make plans again.
Ah, so as soon as she hits me with that “maybe” I should’ve called her on it. I was wondering if it comes across as needy to be like: “What do you mean maybe?” But that makes sense.

One of the other places I screwed up was contacting her too soon, as you said. Sometimes I get flack for liking to have rules that I follow in interactions like this. But those rules prevent me from doing needy sh*t like so. So even waiting 2-3 days to contact would be enough to prevent me from coming across as needy? (In this specific situation, because we had already hung out once before.)

I’ve definitely pulled all the way back, and am focusing on doing other approaches.
 

nicksaiz65

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Hmmmm, you know what I DON'T see? The response from the backup girl... The one you have kept on the back burner for when another one flakes....

What did your flake see on your snapChat? (if she even cared) it wasn't two glasses of wine by the fire was it?


Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!” And the guy rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and Scotch and had tons of money in the bank and slept with lots of different women and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted and lived happily ever after. The End.
You’re right that I need to have burner girls/floater girls in my pipeline. Absolutely.

That could either be done by scheduling two-three dates on top of each other and having floater girls, or scheduling back to back dates throughout the week as @SW15 suggests.

Really, I just need to get myself to the point where I am motivated enough to do more sets. That gets more leads, which creates more floater girls.
 

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