"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She Regrets LJBFing me?

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lighthouse1956

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I've been hanging around a lady who was my wife's best friend bfore my wife died, and she made it clear she only wanted to be friends (she hsn't dated in 5 years since her div.) Now I'm dating other women and she finds something wrong with all of them.

After one lady said she was serious about me, my old friend said it surprised her to know she was depressed about it, saying she was afraid she was losing her best friend (I'm her only male friend, and she's not gay or bi, but very homophobic on religous grounds). Our mutual friends believe she is interested, but just afraid. Any opinions?
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MacAvoy

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I think she's either interested and will likely never act on it or she might still see you as her best friends husband and is finding faults with all your women because they are not her best friend.

My question to you is why are you such close friends with her now? What do you get from the friendship? How old are you two?
 
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lighthouse1956

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I don't really know how we became so close, she was very supportive emotional when my wife passed. We're both 52, attend same church and sit together and have lunch and outings together afterward
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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I think she wants to be friends without benefits. You would think that would mean "just friends" but it sounds as if she has a vested interest in you not finding someone who could come between your relationship with her. I'd test the theory by enlisting her help to assist you in identifying the qualities of the type of woman who would merit your character. Who knows, she may identify herself as actually being interested. Understand for this to happen she will have to deal with the personal guilt she may feel about betraying the friendship with your late wife by becoming interested in you.
 
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MacAvoy

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Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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MacAvoy said:
Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.
Click to expand...
Bingo! Call it flushing out the fox.... :up:
 
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lighthouse1956

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Thanks fellas, I keep getting mixed signals from her, she says she's just being protective of me, and that she's not looking for anyone now
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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