She Regrets LJBFing me?

[lighthouse1956]

I've been hanging around a lady who was my wife's best friend bfore my wife died, and she made it clear she only wanted to be friends (she hsn't dated in 5 years since her div.) Now I'm dating other women and she finds something wrong with all of them.

After one lady said she was serious about me, my old friend said it surprised her to know she was depressed about it, saying she was afraid she was losing her best friend (I'm her only male friend, and she's not gay or bi, but very homophobic on religous grounds). Our mutual friends believe she is interested, but just afraid. Any opinions?

 

[MacAvoy]

I think she's either interested and will likely never act on it or she might still see you as her best friends husband and is finding faults with all your women because they are not her best friend.

My question to you is why are you such close friends with her now? What do you get from the friendship? How old are you two?

 

[lighthouse1956]

I don't really know how we became so close, she was very supportive emotional when my wife passed. We're both 52, attend same church and sit together and have lunch and outings together afterward

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I think she wants to be friends without benefits. You would think that would mean "just friends" but it sounds as if she has a vested interest in you not finding someone who could come between your relationship with her. I'd test the theory by enlisting her help to assist you in identifying the qualities of the type of woman who would merit your character. Who knows, she may identify herself as actually being interested. Understand for this to happen she will have to deal with the personal guilt she may feel about betraying the friendship with your late wife by becoming interested in you.

 

[MacAvoy]

Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.

Bingo! Call it flushing out the fox....

 

[lighthouse1956]

Thanks fellas, I keep getting mixed signals from her, she says she's just being protective of me, and that she's not looking for anyone now