"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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She Regrets LJBFing me?

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lighthouse1956

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I've been hanging around a lady who was my wife's best friend bfore my wife died, and she made it clear she only wanted to be friends (she hsn't dated in 5 years since her div.) Now I'm dating other women and she finds something wrong with all of them.

After one lady said she was serious about me, my old friend said it surprised her to know she was depressed about it, saying she was afraid she was losing her best friend (I'm her only male friend, and she's not gay or bi, but very homophobic on religous grounds). Our mutual friends believe she is interested, but just afraid. Any opinions?
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MacAvoy

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I think she's either interested and will likely never act on it or she might still see you as her best friends husband and is finding faults with all your women because they are not her best friend.

My question to you is why are you such close friends with her now? What do you get from the friendship? How old are you two?
 
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lighthouse1956

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I don't really know how we became so close, she was very supportive emotional when my wife passed. We're both 52, attend same church and sit together and have lunch and outings together afterward
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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I think she wants to be friends without benefits. You would think that would mean "just friends" but it sounds as if she has a vested interest in you not finding someone who could come between your relationship with her. I'd test the theory by enlisting her help to assist you in identifying the qualities of the type of woman who would merit your character. Who knows, she may identify herself as actually being interested. Understand for this to happen she will have to deal with the personal guilt she may feel about betraying the friendship with your late wife by becoming interested in you.
 
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MacAvoy

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Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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MacAvoy said:
Great idea Francisco, especially given their age and more importantly cuz of the fact that she disapproves of his women, so now she has no excuse to disapprove.
Click to expand...
Bingo! Call it flushing out the fox.... :up:
 
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lighthouse1956

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Thanks fellas, I keep getting mixed signals from her, she says she's just being protective of me, and that she's not looking for anyone now
 
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