Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
How come?styleman said:Well I did like her a lot, this has sort of changed things.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
How come?styleman said:Well I did like her a lot, this has sort of changed things.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Cannot really say for sure, perhaps because I trust her less?Francisco d'Anconia said:How come?
Trust is definitely an important thing. I have a whole theory about trust but that's another thing altogether. I'm curious though, what has she done that put her into the place of a person that you should trust. I mean since you trust her less, there must have been something that made you trust her in the first place, right?styleman said:Cannot really say for sure, perhaps because I trust her less?
Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.Francisco d'Anconia said:Trust is definitely an important thing. I have a whole theory about trust but that's another thing altogether. I'm curious though, what has she done that put her into the place of a person that you should trust. I mean since you trust her less, there must have been something that made you trust her in the first place, right?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Bible_Belt said:All I see here is opportunity. If you would stop boo-hooing about your feelings and give up the self-pity, you could get a lot of great sex out of this. Start fvcking her friends. When she finds out, she will forgive you, because in her mind she deserved it for cheating. She would probably throw herself at you even more. If she doesn't (she will, at least the first few times) then all of her friends will want you, anyway. But she'll know that, thus the throwing herself at you.
Sounds as if there are a ton of assumptions going on here on both sides. Not to say that they aren't necessarily true but the evil side of assumptions is that the person having them is the only one who knows about it. Basically it's a recipe for failure because neither side talked to the other about these things, how would you expect the other side to play if they didn't know the rules per se? You know, at least in grade school a boy and girl would pass notes back and forth in class like:styleman said:Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.
Although her actions have never built up trust, I think those kind of words have.
Also, even though she never outright said it, if she saw me talking to other girls, or if I told her about other girls I'd met, I could sense she did not like it.
So I think this made me come to the conclusion that if she does not like me doing it, it's unlikely she'd do it herself.
you are not even dating her officially and she already loves you? if she loves you so much why is she going around getting drunk and kissing other guys? lol some lovestyleman said:Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.
Although her actions have never built up trust, I think those kind of words have.
Also, even though she never outright said it, if she saw me talking to other girls, or if I told her about other girls I'd met, I could sense she did not like it.
So I think this made me come to the conclusion that if she does not like me doing it, it's unlikely she'd do it herself.
I'm with bible on this. A lot of you all seem to have lots of anger towards women (probably because your not getting any, guys that get laid don't care about this stuff) . Women like sex as much as we do (if not more) and have TONS of options by default so obviously there going to hook up with other guys. You'd do the samething if you had women throwing themselves at you all the time. Let the emotions go, go out in the field, get your game together, and put together a team of women for whatever needs you have.Bible_Belt said:I dare you to take my advice.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Not sure what your looking for man? Your making a big fuss about a girl your not dating kissing someone else, she did nothing wrong. Now go f*ck her.styleman said:She is still chasing me.... I like her... but given the circumstances, I don't know what to do...
Why is she chasing me?? I don't mind ****ing her and leaving, but that is not going to work, she's too into me.EFFORT said:Not sure what your looking for man? Your making a big fuss about a girl your not dating kissing someone else, she did nothing wrong. Now go f*ck her.
Are you saying that you still don't know what you want?styleman said:She is still chasing me.... I like her... but given the circumstances, I don't know what to do...
I know I want her in my heart, but my mind says no because she is a traitor.Francisco d'Anconia said:Are you saying that you still don't know what you want?![]()
I don't think you're ready for anything serious. Even if another woman was in your life, I mean you were actually dating her, I'm guessing that you would still have a general lack of trust and that would derail the relationship anyway.styleman said:I know I want her in my heart, but my mind says no because she is a traitor.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Effort is saying PIMP the HOS!!!! Don't love them!!!EFFORT said:I'm with bible on this. A lot of you all seem to have lots of anger towards women (probably because your not getting any, guys that get laid don't care about this stuff) . Women like sex as much as we do (if not more) and have TONS of options by default so obviously there going to hook up with other guys. You'd do the samething if you had women throwing themselves at you all the time. Let the emotions go, go out in the field, get your game together, and put together a team of women for whatever needs you have.