Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
How come?styleman said:Well I did like her a lot, this has sort of changed things.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How come?styleman said:Well I did like her a lot, this has sort of changed things.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Cannot really say for sure, perhaps because I trust her less?Francisco d'Anconia said:How come?
Trust is definitely an important thing. I have a whole theory about trust but that's another thing altogether. I'm curious though, what has she done that put her into the place of a person that you should trust. I mean since you trust her less, there must have been something that made you trust her in the first place, right?styleman said:Cannot really say for sure, perhaps because I trust her less?
Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.Francisco d'Anconia said:Trust is definitely an important thing. I have a whole theory about trust but that's another thing altogether. I'm curious though, what has she done that put her into the place of a person that you should trust. I mean since you trust her less, there must have been something that made you trust her in the first place, right?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Bible_Belt said:All I see here is opportunity. If you would stop boo-hooing about your feelings and give up the self-pity, you could get a lot of great sex out of this. Start fvcking her friends. When she finds out, she will forgive you, because in her mind she deserved it for cheating. She would probably throw herself at you even more. If she doesn't (she will, at least the first few times) then all of her friends will want you, anyway. But she'll know that, thus the throwing herself at you.
Sounds as if there are a ton of assumptions going on here on both sides. Not to say that they aren't necessarily true but the evil side of assumptions is that the person having them is the only one who knows about it. Basically it's a recipe for failure because neither side talked to the other about these things, how would you expect the other side to play if they didn't know the rules per se? You know, at least in grade school a boy and girl would pass notes back and forth in class like:styleman said:Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.
Although her actions have never built up trust, I think those kind of words have.
Also, even though she never outright said it, if she saw me talking to other girls, or if I told her about other girls I'd met, I could sense she did not like it.
So I think this made me come to the conclusion that if she does not like me doing it, it's unlikely she'd do it herself.
you are not even dating her officially and she already loves you? if she loves you so much why is she going around getting drunk and kissing other guys? lol some lovestyleman said:Well she says things like, I love you, you're amazing, I need you etc.
Although her actions have never built up trust, I think those kind of words have.
Also, even though she never outright said it, if she saw me talking to other girls, or if I told her about other girls I'd met, I could sense she did not like it.
So I think this made me come to the conclusion that if she does not like me doing it, it's unlikely she'd do it herself.
I'm with bible on this. A lot of you all seem to have lots of anger towards women (probably because your not getting any, guys that get laid don't care about this stuff) . Women like sex as much as we do (if not more) and have TONS of options by default so obviously there going to hook up with other guys. You'd do the samething if you had women throwing themselves at you all the time. Let the emotions go, go out in the field, get your game together, and put together a team of women for whatever needs you have.Bible_Belt said:I dare you to take my advice.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Not sure what your looking for man? Your making a big fuss about a girl your not dating kissing someone else, she did nothing wrong. Now go f*ck her.styleman said:She is still chasing me.... I like her... but given the circumstances, I don't know what to do...
Why is she chasing me?? I don't mind ****ing her and leaving, but that is not going to work, she's too into me.EFFORT said:Not sure what your looking for man? Your making a big fuss about a girl your not dating kissing someone else, she did nothing wrong. Now go f*ck her.
Are you saying that you still don't know what you want?styleman said:She is still chasing me.... I like her... but given the circumstances, I don't know what to do...
I know I want her in my heart, but my mind says no because she is a traitor.Francisco d'Anconia said:Are you saying that you still don't know what you want?![]()
I don't think you're ready for anything serious. Even if another woman was in your life, I mean you were actually dating her, I'm guessing that you would still have a general lack of trust and that would derail the relationship anyway.styleman said:I know I want her in my heart, but my mind says no because she is a traitor.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Effort is saying PIMP the HOS!!!! Don't love them!!!EFFORT said:I'm with bible on this. A lot of you all seem to have lots of anger towards women (probably because your not getting any, guys that get laid don't care about this stuff) . Women like sex as much as we do (if not more) and have TONS of options by default so obviously there going to hook up with other guys. You'd do the samething if you had women throwing themselves at you all the time. Let the emotions go, go out in the field, get your game together, and put together a team of women for whatever needs you have.