Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

She is driving me nuts. Need some advice

CaptFinnBad

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2021
Messages
163
Reaction score
73
Age
38
Could you share what red flags do you saw on my side?

Asking that cause if there is anything I did wrong I wanna learn from it and mature mysefl.
You made it clear in your mind going to the party was unacceptable behaviour for you personally.

She went to the party and crossed the line and did something you deemed unneceptable.

You changed your boundaries to accommodate someone who broke them.

Why?

Also what does that teach the other person about your boundaries?

I'm also curious was it just a bluff on your part, as just an attempt to control a situation you felt uncomfortable about?
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,446
Reaction score
986
Age
31
Location
Brazil
You made it clear in your mind going to the party was unacceptable behaviour for you personally.

She went to the party and crossed the line and did something you deemed unneceptable.

You changed your boundaries to accommodate someone who broke them.

Why?

Also what does that teach the other person about your boundaries?

I'm also curious was it just a bluff on your part, as just an attempt to control a situation you felt uncomfortable about?
that makes sense.

It was not a bluff. What made me think that way is that I would never bother giving up a party to risk staying with someone I thought its worth.

A party is not as important as if I met a good woman. Cause I know it could create her some insecurities. Even if it was planned before we've met. If I met her and I saw its worth I wouldn't care to not go to the party.

And I found it controversial for her to say that she wanted to be a priority in someone's life, and days later to prioritize a party .But I don't know, sometimes it's a small thing and I shouldn't have worried so much.

I would like to meet someone that was willing to risk the same way I would. Basically that.
 
Last edited:

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,446
Reaction score
986
Age
31
Location
Brazil
You changed your boundaries to accommodate someone who broke them.

Why?
About that, I thought I was exaggerating or that I could give more time to know her better.

Like not trying to be so radical and just give up without giving more time into it.
 

Blacksheep

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2018
Messages
1,446
Reaction score
986
Age
31
Location
Brazil
You made it clear in your mind going to the party was unacceptable behaviour for you personally.

She went to the party and crossed the line and did something you deemed unneceptable.

You changed your boundaries to accommodate someone who broke them.

Why?

Also what does that teach the other person about your boundaries?

I'm also curious was it just a bluff on your part, as just an attempt to control a situation you felt uncomfortable about?

This video have very interesting points I should keep to myself for now.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
8,300
Reaction score
8,301
I'm getting some red flags both your end and hers.

She's your ex now. Forget about her and focus on you. Try reading "nice guys finish last" amoung other things.

Keep a curious mind. Put yourself on a journey to becoming a better man .

I think that you have an incredible amount of potential that is still locked up inside you, you just haven't found the key yet.
Not necessarily. It's possible but there isn't enough information available to make a conclusion.

Perhaps he was drawn to cluster b and the problem is why he choose to seek that particular relationship in the first place.

She could have always destined to treat any guy she's with like this.
There are 3 threads about the same topic started by OP. Piecing things together between the three it becomes pretty apparent.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few. Not the unwashed masses.

If you know you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – then skip this. It is not for you.

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
3,996
Reaction score
4,463
Age
42
That was the same girl I've made a post of intense feelings. I would like to point some stuffs here that damn, its making me feel really sad and mad.

1 - Everytime we are discussing something, and I ask her something she NEVERRRR answer me directly. Her answers seems to be subjective almost all the times and I have to keep repeating the answer until she answer it.

2 - It seems she make some little games to test my feelings. Sometimes I say good morning to her and I also say "I love you" and she just reply "Good morning" and no "I love you too". I seems silly, but I really thing this small gesture is important to show that someone just fcking care.

3 - When we have fights most of times she is using the phrase: "I thought about broke up", "You're losing me doing that", or similar phrases about breaking up.

4 - It seems I'm the only one making a huge effort to spend free time with her. Today I asked her which time we would see each other. She started to gave a lot of excuses to date at night. Knowing that our time on weekends are limited and at night she always become asleep and we don't enjoy as much. She told she had some stuffs from work to do, then she wants to sleep a bit. But damn, she stays in another town the whole weekend. And those job stuffs she have time to do that for sure. She can do it on sunday when she arrive at this town.

5 - A girl called me, I told her and she asked me to call her back. I called her back, told I was dating and asked her to not call me anymore. Also blocked that girl anywhere without the need of her asking me. Now, a guy texted her, she saw me. I asked her: "What are you going to do about it?" - she asked me back: "What do you want me to do?" - I replied: "I wanna hear from you?". Then she just said: "I will just ignore him.". So basically I made a huge effort to make her feel secure blocking that other girl, and showing my worry for her. And she just gonna ignore him. Then I have to ask why is she not blocking him too... When I ask that to her, she say that she is gonna do that then. But I have to fckinggg say it. She is unable to demonstrate any decency that she cares about the relationship.

6 - I found out she always erase her instagram history. Asked her and she doesnt gave me any relative answer. I also found out some 2 guys just appeared on her instagram. And I found out that its possible to delete notifications. One of the guys had a tattoo studio on this town she lives on weekend. I asked her, and she said she doesnt know this guy (this was after she deleting guys on her instagram as we agreed to not allow such a thing on social media). I thought this profile just reactivated but then I saw that base on the date that profile post stuffs, it wasnt possible. So how the fck that appeared there? And its weird she doesnt know that guy since when she cleaned her instagram she told me that she only left people she knew. The same as me, she can ask me about everyone on my IG, I can tell where I know which of the people I have there, that are few.

This is starting to consuming me on a very negative way. I know I'm on a very bad position here in this relationship cause it seems I'm the one who have more feelings and it seems she is playing with that. It's like gaslighting. The person do some subtle things to mess with your emotions, when you feel bad you are the one losing your mind.

I would appreciate any advice. I'm at one step of breaking up with her, but I still question myself if I'm making some mistake.
She sounds like a maniputive lying cuuuunt.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,636
Reaction score
6,245
Age
65
Location
The 7th Dimension
OP, do you realize that she is already gone? She checked out a while ago.

You need to make a preemptive strike immediately. Cut her off and don’t look back, even if she begs. She is ABUSING you. You are not in love with her. You are in love with the idea of what you wish she would be. The idealized, imaginary version of her.

Do yourself a favor and get out now. No long gut-wrenching discussions. Just a very detached and dispassionate “I’ve decided that this relationship is not working for me. I wish you all the best.”

She needs to be summarily dumped. Because believe me, bro, she is going to do that to you. It is inevitable.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,636
Reaction score
6,245
Age
65
Location
The 7th Dimension
I have loved many an imaginary woman in my life….Women whose bad behavior I excused because I always spun it the best way possible in my mind.
 

Whydomyeyeshurt

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 22, 2022
Messages
20
Reaction score
7
Age
45
Hi Op, the truth is that relationships only work well when the women likes the man more than the man likes the woman.

There is no stability in your relationship because she is not as committed to you as you are to her. I doubt that will change. She has to be at least a little afraid of fu$%ing up and losing you.

I would recommend just being a little more distant, a little less affectionate since your efforts have not been reciprocated and see what happens.

Do your thing for a little bit. Get in to your hobbies and hang out with your buddies. It sounds like you have 1itis.

Best of luck man.
This all day long, dude. From a certain point of view she is begging you to establish a strong frame.
 
Top