B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I said "hit me up if you change your mind" and she hasnt responded. Its been three days now. Will it ever be ok to text her again in the future something like "how u doin?"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Jerking my dik? Change my handle? ExplainAnd for petes sake change your handle its really gross.
dated her for 3 monthsIs this a new girl you just started talking too ?If so I wouldn't really give a sh!t,I am not outcome based when it comes to women,I would wait another couple days then call her out of the blue or text...if no answer then ghost her azz......do not block her !
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Sure doesn't sound like it. If you were really dating this broad for 3 months, you should be comfortable enough to call her rather than get worked up over something like this.dated her for 3 months
I still wouldn't give a sh!t,grab your nuts and call her up,practice those conversational skills.dated her for 3 months
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I agree with you and am working to change my mindset but I still want her back cause I like her and lost her over fvcking stupidity...I understand how you feel. This is not about getting this one back or any other woman. This is about the mindset. You don't need to get this one back. You think that by getting her back, your social life will get better. It won't, trust me. Your social life gets better when you get better. Work hard, ***** will follow![]()
Mate you have to not give a ****....but really not give a ****.I really wish I didn't send that "hit me up if you change your mind" text because I gave her all the fvcking control! Had I left her the last one to text, I could have checked in a week or two
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
NoErase, replace, case closed.
How do you know? It's only been three days since I sent that text. Last time I saw her was a little less than two weeks ago, not three months. We're not incompatible. I acted like an a$$hole with her and paid the price. But karma can get her back. I know it can. Yea that was my exit text. No other women sorry. Self improvement, determination, withstand temporary pain = my game planSo your exit text was "hit me up if you change your mind". I assume the changing your mind part was about dating you?
She hasn't hit you up - this means she hasn't changed her mind.
1) You cant make the first move. If you do it's like acquiescing to her frame.
2) understand that the reasons you are no longer together did not magically dissipate in the 3 months you haven't been together. Whatever the issues are, they still exist and they still make you incompatible.
I'm guessing that you are stuck in the type of limbo that compels you to look backward to resurrect a relationship, rather then put the effort into dating and possibly fleshing out a new female.....? Everyone goes thru that.
Be strong. She's not coming back. Find new females.
I played games with her cause I was weird for some reason. I wouldn'So your exit text was "hit me up if you change your mind". I assume the changing your mind part was about dating you?
She hasn't hit you up - this means she hasn't changed her mind.
1) You cant make the first move. If you do it's like acquiescing to her frame.
2) understand that the reasons you are no longer together did not magically dissipate in the 3 months you haven't been together. Whatever the issues are, they still exist and they still make you incompatible.
I'm guessing that you are stuck in the type of limbo that compels you to look backward to resurrect a relationship, rather then put the effort into dating and possibly fleshing out a new female.....? Everyone goes thru that.
Be strong. She's not coming back. Find new females.
See I wish I didn't leave it up to her. I could have let her had the last word and hit her up later. Do you think I did the wrong thing? And if she doesnt get back to me, hit her up in a month?You've left it up to her to get back with you. Be true to your word and if she never gets back with you... well.
Imagine it's over, go find more girls. Forget about this one. If she comes around great, but don't count on it.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.