"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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She has a boyfriend, but offers to buy me dinner?

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teddy

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This old college girl I knew ended up moving to my town several months ago, so we got drinks to "catch up". Though she had the perfect looks, personality, and similar interests as me, she dropped the bomb that she had a long-term boyfriend. I decided to not meet up with her anymore after that (despite the grandiose plans she had for the both of us to go to concerts, movies, fairs, etc.) because it would be a waste of my time.

Fast forward to more than 5 months later. I fell into 2 tickets for a concert for one of her favorite musicians (and one of mine too.) I remember from the conversation we had months earlier how much she liked the musician, so I texted her and asked her if she wanted to go.

Of course she did, and then after saying that, she said that she'd buy me dinner sometime and we can finally hang out again (smileys all over, of course).

Concert got canceled. So.....should I read anything into her wanting to buy me dinner or just let this be?

Should probably also say that her boyfriend lives out of state (and is real). She might just be lonely.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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teddy

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YAboi said:
you are secretly hoping that something happens between the two of you. Be honest with yourself, man up , show some integrity and go after what you want in life. We can't analyze a girl we don't know anything about. ..
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I'm not denying it. I just don't know whether to pursue because of the boyfriend part. I don't want to become one of those "surrogate" boyfriends while her boyfriend is away and then he visits and reaps the benefits.
 
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Alvafe

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though I would guess she was trying to break from her BF as long she ahve something else to go, and hey if she want to pay you dinner let her, normally is teh guys who does that, try to even the field a little
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

VladPatton

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teddy said:
I'm not denying it. I just don't know whether to pursue because of the boyfriend part. I don't want to become one of those "surrogate" boyfriends while her boyfriend is away and then he visits and reaps the benefits.
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Nothing wrong with having a fück buddy, man. That's the best you'll probably get out of this relationship. From years of doing the right thing, I will no longer condemn anyone from banging a chick that wants to be banged. Always go for the gold, life's too short.

Otherwise, just let it go and find an available chick.
 
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teddy

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I think all of you have given me good advice. I'm still trying to kill the AFC within me. It's become easier for girls I don't give a **** about, but for girls that I may like just a little, that's the next step.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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