Hank I’m glad it worked out for you and no, I’m not like your gf. She’s sounds great by the way but I have a different set of values that compliment and work well with my husband’s.UPDATE:
So last night I got home, threw some food in the instant pot and started working out in my gym room. 20mins later the door bell rings and guess who it is in a sexy outfit, lipstick, make up, push up bra etc? if you guessed a hooker you guessed wrong lol She had a pissed off look on her face though but I smiled, said "hey!! come in!" so she smiled back, came in and said 'WE NEED TO TALK'. I said sure we can do that...one sec. Then I went off to turn off the music, etc, asked her if she wanted something to drink. Then sat down on the couch next to her told her to go ahead and talk. Long story short she complained about the silent treatment, she complained that she has to always be the one to reach out to me when there's a disagreement, we need to communicate, she gets uncomfortable when someone gets mad at her etc. I said 'ok' but then she said what I had to say about all that. I tried to dodge it by saying 'I understand what you're saying' but she was adamant that I talked about it so I told calmly told her how I felt, why I felt it and that I want to be in a relationship with a submissive chick, I have to feel that I'm cared for, loved and respected etc. She said she'll try to do a better job of communicating when she notices that I'm upset (as expected she knew that I was upset but she chose to ignore it). After that from 6-8:30ish we had the usual wild sex, it was messy because she was still on her period. I point that out because that time of the month may have had something to do with her moody behavior perhaps. After that we talked, had dinner etc then she told me 'I didn't expect to have sex tonight, in fact, I brought over your stuff from my house in case you didn't want to be with me anymore. I just had to find out as I couldn't sleep and was in a down mood'. Then when she got home and sent me the Jason Mars song 'I won't give up on us' or something like that. And this morning she sent the usual good morning txt that she does with emojis etc.
I have to say...may be it's me but while I did get some great advice from the ladies and I appreciated them taking the time to write all they did but I also sensed some irritation at me, perhaps it's because you ladies are not the submissive type (which is fine) and some how see being submissive as a weak thing so you're rooting for her to be strong (otherwise she must have low self esteem etc). However, her and I have had many conversations and she likes being submissive and believes in gender roles. She said in the past she had to step up because the guys she was with never did. It's like an omega dog who tries to become alpha but is neurotic and unsure but since the alpha's not around he tries to do his best but he's not happy in his core. You see this with dogs and dog owners all the time where they can't control their neurotic dog. Yes, there are alpha females too but not many and guys like me don't want to be with those women.
Lastly, I posted this here for feedback to see if I need to change something within myself but I need to be selective in who's advice I choose. Guru1000 was 100% correct on the attraction being counter intuitive, I've seen this in my own and other's relationships. Women want the guys that treat them poorly for some reason, I'm talking super alpha females too! Yet the nice guys who bend, apologize etc get cheated on and only thrown scraps. I will post about this in a separate thread because this is actually happening to someone I know right now.
Also, RangerMike said if this is me then this is me, that's what I said earlier too...I know what i want, she needs to decide if that's who she is or not.
I don’t think being submissive is weak if that’s what a girl wants to do. A choice made is not weakness.
I love doing things for my husband but I have other responsibilities, interests etc as does he and we fit well that way.
I don’t cater to him in the way that your girl caters to you which again is great as she likes that and so do you.
But I like to surprise him with stuff. Last year I bought him and his father tickets to the Raptors as a surprise bday gift for both of them as their bdays are in the same month.
I also make his breakfast every morning because I get up before him and he likes to have a boiled egg and doesn’t give himself enough time in the morning to make it so it’s always boiled and waiting for him with his coffee and toast when he gets out of the shower. It makes his morning easier and I like that.
But again, no I’m not as submissive as your gf which again, is fine it’s just not my thing.
Happy that it worked out for you both.