Sh$t test???

[Mertz09]

So if she sh$t test you after you have known her for a few months. What do you think? Does it go on forever??

 

[plumber]

So if she sh$t test you after you have known her for a few months. What do you think? Does it go on forever??

it will go on until it does not affect you. if the event can get past your filter and activate your emotion it will continue; forever. when the event happens process it logically. do not pass it through to your emotion unless you choose to do so.

then you will never have a sh$t test. you will only have calm information to consider. you do not need her approval. she can go if she wants. do not participate in the sh$t test. she can just do that by herself you do not need to participate. you do not need to defend or correct her. do not pass it to your emotions unless you choose.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So if she sh$t test you after you have known her for a few months. What do you think? Does it go on forever??

It means she has questions about what you present yourself as versus what she sees by your actions and is working on trying to figure that out.

 

[Divorced w 3]

So if she sh$t test you after you have known her for a few months. What do you think? Does it go on forever??

Can you give this a little context? In other words, what happened specifically?

 

[Mertz09]

Can you give this a little context? In other words, what happened specifically?

I’m still trying to figure it out . AKA a **** test LOL

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Are you saying you're not successfully identifying them when they occur? Or perhaps you know they're happening and are unsure on different ways to 'pass' them?

Whatever you do, do NOT go about these s tests in a manner prescribed in the silly book "Way of the superior man."

 

[Sega Genesis]

I’m still trying to figure it out . AKA a **** test LOL

Hey Mertz no one is asking you to figure it out. The forum can help with that.

But first, it must have been something she did or said that led you to believe or suspect she may have been shyt testing you?

What was it?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I’m still trying to figure it out . AKA a **** test LOL

What is causing your gut to feel like something is the matter, what behavior?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Does it go on forever??

Yep

 

[Mertz09]

Are you saying you're not successfully identifying them when they occur? Or perhaps you know they're happening and are unsure on different ways to 'pass' them?

Whatever you do, do NOT go about these s tests in a manner prescribed in the silly book "Way of the superior man."

I am identifying successfully and I ignore them. My response is "no problem" and nothing else.

 

[Mertz09]

Hey Mertz no one is asking you to figure it out. The forum can help with that.

But first, it must have been something she did or said that led you to believe or suspect she may have been shyt testing you?

What was it?

Yes, Not really a big deal but not her normal responsiveness. I was supposed to help her for a while this Saturday at her house and she sent me text and said she would be home around 1:00, and then at around 1:30 she text that she now would be home at around 2:30. Not a big deal but then at around 5:30 I had not heard from her so I text and ask if she was home yet and her response was that she was but she was getting ready to go out with some girl friends (this is not unusual) and could we get together tomorrow (Sunday) yesterday. My response was "No Problem" The thing that P!ssed me off was that she did not tell me earlier on Saturday. I never heard from her yesterday and I did not reach out to her. So this morning she text me from work "Sorry I had a busy weekend. Lets try to get together sometime"

I have not responded and may not at all.

That is a shyt test in my opinion.

 

[Clockwerk50]

So if she sh$t test you after you have known her for a few months. What do you think? Does it go on forever??

That’s how relationships work. The tests don’t just disappear because you’ve known her for a few months. You go through a comfort test, a **** test, meet up, and then the cycle repeats, sometimes in the same order, sometimes differently.

The truth is that there is no true rest from performance; you are continually being evaluated by your behavior and how well you meet her expectations.

Yes, Not really a big deal but not her normal responsiveness. I was supposed to help her for a while this Saturday at her house and she sent me text and said she would be home around 1:00, and then at around 1:30 she text that she now would be home at around 2:30. Not a big deal but then at around 5:30 I had not heard from her so I text and ask if she was home yet and her response was that she was but she was getting ready to go out with some girl friends (this is not unusual) and could we get together tomorrow (Sunday) yesterday. My response was "No Problem" The thing that P!ssed me off was that she did not tell me earlier on Saturday. I never heard from her yesterday and I did not reach out to her. So this morning she text me from work "Sorry I had a busy weekend. Lets try to get together sometime"

I have not responded and may not at all.

That is a shyt test in my opinion.

That is not a **** test. That is simply a change in her level of interest or priorities, but I see it as a test of boundaries. The distinction is that a **** test is meant to provoke a reaction, whereas a boundary is about how you respond to behavior that you don't want to accept. Basically, the boundary here is that you don't want to accept someone making plans with you, failing to communicate a change, and then treating your time as if it is unimportant.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Basically, the boundary here is that you don't want to accept someone making plans with you, failing to communicate a change, and then treating your time as if it is unimportant.

agree - time for some silence and distance

 

[The Duke]

Yes, Not really a big deal but not her normal responsiveness. I was supposed to help her for a while this Saturday at her house and she sent me text and said she would be home around 1:00, and then at around 1:30 she text that she now would be home at around 2:30. Not a big deal but then at around 5:30 I had not heard from her so I text and ask if she was home yet and her response was that she was but she was getting ready to go out with some girl friends (this is not unusual) and could we get together tomorrow (Sunday) yesterday. My response was "No Problem" The thing that P!ssed me off was that she did not tell me earlier on Saturday. I never heard from her yesterday and I did not reach out to her. So this morning she text me from work "Sorry I had a busy weekend. Lets try to get together sometime"

I have not responded and may not at all.

That is a shyt test in my opinion.

This is not a sh!t test. This girl blew you off. But you failed yourself by saying "no problem" to something that "pissed you off" and letting it progress. You obviously aren't a priority nor does she show much respect, and you certainly didn't demand any.

Here's how I would of handled this:

Her: I'll be home around 1:00
Me: Ok, text me when you get there and I'll head that way.
Her: It's going to be more like 2:30. (text sent at 1:30)
Me: Maybe another time, I have things I need to get done.

 

[Mertz09]

This is not a sh!t test. This girl blew you off. But you failed yourself by saying "no problem" to something that "pissed you off" and letting it progress. You obviously aren't a priority nor does she show much respect, and you certainly didn't demand any.

Here's how I would of handled this:

Her: I'll be home around 1:00
Me: Ok, text me when you get there and I'll head that way.
Her: It's going to be more like 2:30. (text sent at 1:30)
Me: Maybe another time, I have things I need to get done.

I agree Duke. I said "No Problem" to show indifference

I will respond to this mornings text of "Sorry I had a busy weekend. Lets try to get together sometime" By replying "Okay, I'll get back to you"

 

[Mertz09]

Followed up with some "silence and distance"

 

[Divorced w 3]

"Okay, I'll get back to you"

Silence and distance means you don’t say this. Just let it fade off. She will come around and want to know where you went once she realizes you stopped hanging on her every word.

 

[Mertz09]

Silence and distance means you don’t say this. Just let it fade off. She will come around and want to know where you went once she realizes you stopped hanging on her every word.

Yes Divorced w 3, You are correct, I will not respond at all.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yes Divorced w 3, You are correct, I will not respond at all.

Go work out. Get busier at the office. See friends. Meet another woman. You’ll shock yourself how good you feel.

 

[Mertz09]

Roger That!