I've been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months. Throughout this 8 months, she's been complaining that I couldn't provide fer with the feeling of being protected. She desperately needs the sense of security. Can someone tell me how I could provide that feeling?
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Sense of Security
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
earthshyne
Senior Don Juan
You cannot make her feel secure - or make her feel anything else. You can have input on some of her circumstances, but how she relates them to certain feelings is entirely up to her. The best you can do in this situation is to provide her with the opportunity and give her reason to feel secure with you. If, when you're out together, you're ogling other wimmen, then that's probably not a good thing. But my sense is that her issue has more to do with what happened to her long before you were in the picture.
Best advice: As in all things, be yourself.
Best advice: As in all things, be yourself.
earthshyne
Senior Don Juan
I don't think there are any specifics that I can tell you because I don't know you, I don't know her and I don't know the dynamic that takes place between you two. So all I can suggest are some broad brush-strokes:
- Be present to her. By that, I mean when you're with her, focus on the fact that you're together. If, for instance, you go to the mall and you want to spent a chunk of your day in the fishing tackle store, go ahead, but remember that she's there to be with you, not with fishing tackle;
- Listen. Not just "hear" her, but actually listen to her. Wimmen talk to express emotions, so once you understand that you'll have a better idea of where she's coming from;
- Pay attention. When you're together, it's probably not a good time to be ogling other chicks. Besides, that's my job.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Err, right.
Anyways, I wouldn't bite on this stupid story. What the **** does she need to be 'protected' from? The big bad wolf?
Thinking about this really hurts. What is she really trying to say? And then it came to me!
WHO CARES!?
Anyways, I wouldn't bite on this stupid story. What the **** does she need to be 'protected' from? The big bad wolf?
Thinking about this really hurts. What is she really trying to say? And then it came to me!
WHO CARES!?
Michael Chief
Senior Don Juan
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Maybe you aren't beng confident enough with your mannerisms.
Be THE MAN...and a damn confident one at that - and she'll feel like a princess under her knight's protection
Be THE MAN...and a damn confident one at that - and she'll feel like a princess under her knight's protection
paraguayandj
Senior Don Juan
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when you say secure. do you mean secure as in relationship secure or as in safety secure?
Disconnect
Master Don Juan
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Get really built and show a sense of confidence.
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Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
VIVAlasVEGASBaby
Senior Don Juan
Sir Lancelot
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I don't think she desperately needs the feeling of security, since she's stayed with you for 8 months now. Don't change yourself or your behavior to try to make her feel more protected.
I think Lik's right, it sounds like a cry for attention.
I think Lik's right, it sounds like a cry for attention.