"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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See the matrix but still can't unplug

sosilky

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Now that I realize everything I was doing wrong in the past with women I still find myself having thoughts feelings or actions that are consistent with the guy that wants to be nice or maybe even a jerk etc. etc. How do I flush that stuff out? See to be honest I gotta tell ya some of that stuff has worked for me in the past. Yet I'm realize the philosophies here have a more consistent pay off.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Vice

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sosilky said:
Now that I realize everything I was doing wrong in the past with women I still find myself having thoughts feelings or actions that are consistent with the guy that wants to be nice or maybe even a jerk etc. etc. How do I flush that stuff out?
How old are you?

Because once you pass a certain age your current social and psychological mindsets are programmed into you, and it tales extra effort to reprogram yourself.
 

sosilky

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$

I'm 28

Because once you pass a certain age your current social and psychological mindsets are programmed into you, and it tales extra effort to reprogram yourself.

ok how?
 

Vice

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sosilky said:
Yeah, you need reprogramming.

I'm seventeen, my brain is still developing, so by the time I'm your age my attitude will be hard to change.

Have you read/watched David DeAngelo's material? It's geared towards older guys, and it's got some great material that'll help you realize that what you're doing is utterly stupid. You attitude will literally change overnight. Read his eBook
 

sosilky

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Vice said:
Yeah, you need reprogramming.

I'm seventeen, my brain is still developing, so by the time I'm your age my attitude will be hard to change.

Have you read/watched David DeAngelo's material? It's geared towards older guys, and it's got some great material that'll help you realize that what you're doing is utterly stupid. You attitude will literally change overnight. Read his eBook
is that the double your dating book?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Joe The Homophobe

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sosilky, realize that you only got 1 life to live and if you keep being a wuss instead of acting like a man around woman you will lose time which you can never get back. The clock is ticking, enjoy your life.
 

everywomanshero

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This doesn't require becoming a behavioral scientist. If you act like an escapee from the penal system for the criminally insane, most women will avoid you (people in general for that matter). If you seem like you've been living in mom's basement for the past 10 years, most people will think you a bit strange. If you act like you're gay, well, most people will assume you might be gay.

So I can tell you've already realized it's a continium.

WussBag <-----------------------------------------> Psycho

I don't imagine you want to be at either extreme. It's not easy to consistently hit the sweet spot, but when you do you'l know it because you'll feel talkative, alive, and want to interact with people. When you've hit that spot, at least in my experience, interactions take care of themselves... no weirdo, PUA, pretending to be someone else stuff required. A big part of this is realizing your own & others' intrinsic values and to stop obsessing with external indicators of "success" or "failure" as defined by corporate culture. By those external standards one is never good enough and it leads to a striving for superiority where one never feels quite good enough but always believes that just one more lay, degree, promotion, etc will provide that sense of inner security.
 
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