Now that I realize everything I was doing wrong in the past with women I still find myself having thoughts feelings or actions that are consistent with the guy that wants to be nice or maybe even a jerk etc. etc. How do I flush that stuff out? See to be honest I gotta tell ya some of that stuff has worked for me in the past. Yet I'm realize the philosophies here have a more consistent pay off.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
See the matrix but still can't unplug
- Thread starter sosilky
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Vice
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 23, 2007
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Yeah, you need reprogramming.sosilky said:
I'm seventeen, my brain is still developing, so by the time I'm your age my attitude will be hard to change.
Have you read/watched David DeAngelo's material? It's geared towards older guys, and it's got some great material that'll help you realize that what you're doing is utterly stupid. You attitude will literally change overnight. Read his eBook
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
sosilky, realize that you only got 1 life to live and if you keep being a wuss instead of acting like a man around woman you will lose time which you can never get back. The clock is ticking, enjoy your life.
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,814
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This doesn't require becoming a behavioral scientist. If you act like an escapee from the penal system for the criminally insane, most women will avoid you (people in general for that matter). If you seem like you've been living in mom's basement for the past 10 years, most people will think you a bit strange. If you act like you're gay, well, most people will assume you might be gay.
So I can tell you've already realized it's a continium.
WussBag <-----------------------------------------> Psycho
I don't imagine you want to be at either extreme. It's not easy to consistently hit the sweet spot, but when you do you'l know it because you'll feel talkative, alive, and want to interact with people. When you've hit that spot, at least in my experience, interactions take care of themselves... no weirdo, PUA, pretending to be someone else stuff required. A big part of this is realizing your own & others' intrinsic values and to stop obsessing with external indicators of "success" or "failure" as defined by corporate culture. By those external standards one is never good enough and it leads to a striving for superiority where one never feels quite good enough but always believes that just one more lay, degree, promotion, etc will provide that sense of inner security.
So I can tell you've already realized it's a continium.
WussBag <-----------------------------------------> Psycho
I don't imagine you want to be at either extreme. It's not easy to consistently hit the sweet spot, but when you do you'l know it because you'll feel talkative, alive, and want to interact with people. When you've hit that spot, at least in my experience, interactions take care of themselves... no weirdo, PUA, pretending to be someone else stuff required. A big part of this is realizing your own & others' intrinsic values and to stop obsessing with external indicators of "success" or "failure" as defined by corporate culture. By those external standards one is never good enough and it leads to a striving for superiority where one never feels quite good enough but always believes that just one more lay, degree, promotion, etc will provide that sense of inner security.