Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Wow and he's been married for 30+ years. I wonder what goes on in that household.Luthor Rex said:
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
No.I think that women like to be smacked or corrected by their men too.
while I might agree with you, you are not leaving room for debate. you don't present anything which would make your statement true, just giving an opinion which is affected by media. Seems like you think woman and men are equal in a sense that what applys to a woman should also apply to a man. Anyway, who's to say that we are not meant to keep our spouses in place when they cross the line. Equality? Morale spoon fed by the media?Papermoon said:No.
It's never okay to use violence with your SO. Never, and it doesn't matter who is doing it. Women should never smack their husbands, and husbands should never smack their wives. I don't care what an old farty actor thinks about it, what influence has he on my life? I wouldn't consider wearing leather tights if he had recommended them, so why should I take any hint from him on anything else?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
nicely said, and i would like to second that. guys, even i dont feel smacking is the way to it. even smacking ur children or whatever u can boss upon. for the very first thing, why would ever get in relationship with a smackhead that doesnt know the border line and then again, we are humans we are supposed to err, so why not show them the borderline through just talking out.Papermoon said:You can keep your spouses in place without resorting to violence. If you can't you shouldn't be in a relationship.
What will you give your wife if you smack her when she does wrong? Fear. She won't do it again, maybe. But imho for the wrong reasons. If you talk to her, however, and make her understand that there is a line that needs to be respected, she can make a choice not to behave in a bad way again. It's a choice between gaining respect and implementing fear, imho.
You are right, this is just my opinion, I merely wanted to outbalance the "yeah, smacking is fun" fraction in this thread. I am not aware of any influence the media had on me in that respect. But even if there were influence, it wouldn't necesarily be bad. If I learned from the media that 1+1= 2, it wouldn't make the equation wrong either.
Your assuming your talking to a rational woman. If she were rational in the first place she wouldn't be belligerently crossing line. For some women there is no making them understand through talk.Papermoon said:If you talk to her, however, and make her understand that there is a line that needs to be respected, she can make a choice not to behave in a bad way again.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.