Relationship options for men in 21st century

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,559
Reaction score
531
Location
Italy
Hi guys, Johnny here.

The more exprience I get, the more I realize how useful it would have been to understand the rules of the game before making major life decisions.

That's why I think men need systems.
Not to eliminate risk, but to make calculated decisions and avoid blindly following the path society expects: You know... relationship → cohabitation → marriage → kids → financial entanglement, with potentially serious consequences (for men) if things go wrong.

We need to understand our options and choose deliberately, rather than simply copying our parents or friends.
This comes down to one fundamental question: Do you want children or not?

If you want kids:

1. The Unicorn: You find the right woman, marry her, and build a life together.
2. The 3 to 5 year project: If both of you are financially independent and own your own homes, keep your assets separate and rent a place together. Have and raise a child for 3–5 years, then reassess the relationship and decide whether to continue as a couple or co-parents.

If you don't want kids:

1. The Unicorn: Find the right woman, marry her, and build a life together without children.
2. Keep things flexible: Date and maintain relationships without rushing into permanent commitments. Stay independent, reassess periodically. This is not having multiple plates, but rather find a good woman, keep her until she has respect for you, while you both are monogamous and loyal while you keep track of your surroundings and your options.


The main idea is simple in each scenario you'll fall:
Know your options, understand the risks, and choose your path consciously.

Curious to hear how other guys approach this.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,835
Reaction score
19,042
Learning how to screen properly fixes 90% of your problems with women, but yet it's the hardest thing to do properly even though it's relatively simple.
 

RoadKing_Rabbit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2024
Messages
373
Reaction score
327
Location
Midwest
Read "The Menu" By Aaron Clarey
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,499
Reaction score
11,351
It took me a lot of years to figure out the "system" that worked for me. For many years if they were "hot & fun", then I was down. Thats basically all I screened for so I accumulated a lot of experiences but it helped me understand women better because these types were always a mess(high risk). You never learn from your successes, its always your failures that teach you the most. You can't just tell a guy to screen better when he lacks the experience on what to screen for. That was basically my problem, and I thought everyone did the right thing. Eventually you grow tired of the drama and spot the red flags before they ever arise.

I've always enjoyed the hunting, seducing, nights out on the town, dancing, drinking, and sex with women and didn't want to go with out. So I finally developed a system where I didn't take them seriously until I was convinced who they really were. I would treat them as a plate and always keep my eye open for something better. If I found a great girl then I would keep her, if not then I would keep her around until I had enough and replace her with another one. This fixed my problem of committing to girls that never deserved committment in the first place, and it helped me find a solid girl.

I ran it like a single elimination basketball tournament. Eventually you are left with the best one. Only the winners advance to the next round.

The downside is you realize most women are easily replaced. There are very few solid women worth commitment. It's no different that sports players. There are plenty of people trying to get to the NFL, but few will ever make it. They are various levels of average with respect to the top players that are talented enough to play professional sports.

We all have different things we want out of life at different times, and there are many ways to go about them. Figure out what works for you, how to do it, and make it happen.
 
Last edited:
Top