"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Recovering

RyGuyFly

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Hi guys,

I just stumbled across this forum.

My backstory is that I come from a highly controlling religion that was very anti-sex anti-dating. My mother was controlling and suffocating and I recieved a lot of verbal abuse relating to dating and girls etc. My father was largely absent.

I had never been on a date until I was 29. Im 30 now. I feel so lost and discouraged. I feel like I won't ever learn how to find or date women I'm attracted to. I don't often feel attractive but objectively I think I'm ok looking. Thinking about this I feel so depressed.

Due to my upbringing i suffered extreme low self esteem and self worth. I'm looking for some guidance and support. Is this the right place? In the real world I feel like no one is supportive.

Where should I start even?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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wifehunter

Master Don Juan
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1. Make sure negative and controlling people are out of your life. OUT!!!

2. Start building....hobbies, passions, career, goals, etc.

step #1 is crucial to progressing to step #2
 

fanatic22

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Hey dude, start by seeing a therapist, they can be very helpful in unwinding deeply rooted problems. The good news is that your life will only get better from here on out. I'd read the DJ Bible and Book of Pook to avoid early dating mistakes. Relax and don't take it too seriously - dating is fun and you'll get into the swing of it soon enough.
 

RyGuyFly

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Hey dude, start by seeing a therapist, they can be very helpful in unwinding deeply rooted problems. The good news is that your life will only get better from here on out. I'd read the DJ Bible and Book of Pook to avoid early dating mistakes. Relax and don't take it too seriously - dating is fun and you'll get into the swing of it soon enough.
Already have but as far as women and dating they are useless. I escaped the religion in late 2015. Went on my first date in early 2016. Any suggestions people give seem to be totally out of touch with reality.
 

wifehunter

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Hey dude, start by seeing a therapist, they can be very helpful in unwinding deeply rooted problems. The good news is that your life will only get better from here on out. I'd read the DJ Bible and Book of Pook to avoid early dating mistakes. Relax and don't take it too seriously - dating is fun and you'll get into the swing of it soon enough.
Therapists often have their own issues, so take care when selecting one.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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lizardking82

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He doesn't need to see any therapist. He needs to get out in the real world and eat some dirt. That will teach him better than any kind of therapist.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
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What country do you live? What’s your living and employment situation?
 
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