flowtheory
Master Don Juan
The bar this night was pretty empty. Before the guy and his little pal walked in, there was maybe 10 other people in it, max. Mostly youngish or older guys sitting in booths or playing pinball.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Recognizing sh!t tests. Date last night.
- Thread starter flowtheory
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You put yourself in a stupid situation out of naivete. Now you are doubling up by claiming some sort of moral victory passing a "sh1t test." Third, you're now demanding validation from anonymous, random people. You keep digging a deeper hole with no end in sight. You're entering bigdave17 levels of delusion.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Had you "protected" her and came off all possessive, insecure that someone was going to steal her, etc., your chances of looking like an ass are FAR GREATER than playing it cool, joking with guy, and laughing it off. It's a first date right? She's not your f*ucking wife, gf, or LTR.
No 100% RIGHT answer here, because there are many variables, but I mostly agree with the posters who say play it cool, WATCH HER, and kindly leave if she shows a lot of flirtatious interest in guy #2. If you have any DJ game at all, you'll see/know the signs.
Keep in mind, most women (95%) are pre-programmed to avoid conflict so she may have been friendly to the guy to avoid an awkward situation or possible fight. I'd be 80-90% confident that's the situation here. But, I wouldn't hesitate to leave a woman at a bar, party, or in my case once--at the dog park--if she showed blatant disrespect towards me.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
I put myself in a fun bar to have a good night as opposed to going for a coffee or an appetizer. No niaveite involved?
I’m not claiming a victory. I’m simply sharing my experience as I’ve newly joined the community and I’m growing in this avenue to be able to recognize things I may not have before.
Third, I’m not demanding anything. I like to get a good conversation going and seeing different perspectives so I can further expand my knowledge on how to handle myself in the world.
It’s types of people such as yourself on this board who have no valuable, constructive advice to offer so you try to tear others down without even realizing people post here to try to learn and grow from experiences.
Plus. I’m sure you handle every situation, thread, post, and woman with complete perfection.
Just said you lost the protector frame.
It's not about her. It's about you as a man. The manly aura you generated is not sufficient or unreadable.
The bully instinctively sniffed it out and disrespected you.
Women notices this. And a woman's defence/offence mechanism is always to disarm a man by manipulation.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
It would have been so odd to abandon getting my drink and change for the foosball game to go be a protector though?
Like I stated before, when I let him do whatever, I continued to achieve my change and drink, then came back and he immediately fled. I don’t know what else I could have done except yelling at him to not go over by her, or confront with aggression.
You say you passed a sh1t test? What sh1t test? Someone talked to your date and a woman pointed at you. Is that it? You're making a mountain out of a molehill and claimed you learned a lesson of some kind. But no one knows what the sh1t test was, probably because you don't either.
Basically, one person talked to your date and a random woman pointed at you. What is the point of this thread or your post?
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than start or engage in one especially over someone he just met and is not emotionally connected to in any way.
I am a 20-year boxer and MMA guy and even at my age of 40+, could whoop up on 90%+ of people who confront me. Still, I don't need cops, lawyers, lawsuits, the hassle, and possible injury--and OP doesn't either. So the correct answer is to not get all "tough guy" in this instance. He should employ IDGAF.
THINK about it.
Ditto man! Krav Maga practitioner here.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
A woman kept winking. Not pointed. Which made it interesting to see how my date handled a similar scenario after the initial one.
I felt the other guy talking to her and her talking back was the sh!t test. And I was stating on the thread it’s interesting to see sh!t tests in real time and know roughly what to do. It wasn’t until later some other posters presented the possibility that it may have been disrespect.
You need to learn how to absorb information on a simple thread.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I usually make gangbang jokes. So if she is on one side of the foosball table, and he is on the other side, like they are about to play, walk to his side like you are playing as a pair, and say " I'm thinking 2 on 1. Let's double-team her!"
I wouldn't care if they ran off together. That joke would make my evening, much more than a boring date. That is part of your problem, OP. You care too much. Try to have fun as your prime directive, other stuff will fall into place.
I wouldn't care if they ran off together. That joke would make my evening, much more than a boring date. That is part of your problem, OP. You care too much. Try to have fun as your prime directive, other stuff will fall into place.
Nah. That instigates the thug types and sh1t escalates into something most people don't want. I think he handled it really well.
A woman winked at you. That's a sh1t test? How so? Your date ignored it.
Your date talked to another man. OK. So what? How is that a sh1t test? Are you a muslim? Is she not allowed to talk to other people or drive a car? Does she wear hijab too?
You talk about a ton of random details but there is no point to your post.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Haha I did have fun. Plenty. It’s not my issue. This thread simply turned in to something else than I initially intended and we’ve gone in to depth about other possibilities.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
It's your body language.
The projection you generate with your voice, how you look at another man, etc etc.
A bully instinctively picks on those.
You perhaps need to work on those skill sets.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
My date actually didn’t ignore it. She got slightly territorial. I don’t think that was a sh!t test.
But her talking to the guy knowing I know, could be one.
And no, I’m not Muslim.
I guess in your thread law we’re not allowed to talk about experiences.
You are stating a hypothetical as if it were absolute truth. You've never seen the guy, don't know what he looks like or what his body language looks like.
Chuck Liddell and Brock Lesnar are and were "bullied" by random smaller guys. This is because of how they project of course. These bullies instinctively pick on Chuck Liddell and Brock Lesnar.
She got "territorial" after a woman winked at you? What does that even mean?
A man talking to your date is a sh1t test? How so? What is a sh1t test?
lamath
Master Don Juan
I dont think you handle the situation that badly
Geting into a fight is just ridiculous its a lose lose situation.
I think there was some disrespect there, but once it happened you handle it ok.
Only bad thing imo is you choose to bring to that place.
You having a 2nd date with her ?
Or things did not turn out?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.