"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Recent observations on Confidence.

mrgoodstuff

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That's why I think it's almost pointless for a guy to focus on "improving confidence." Men and women can't even agree on what confidence is.

If a guy wants to focus on conversational skills, dressing better, getting in better shape, getting rid of his negative attitude, etc., great. His "confidence" may well improve as other areas improve. But "confidence" shouldn't necessarily be the goal.

Assuming women can "read your mind" always seemed a bit superstitious to me. Or that they can "size you up in seconds" sounds a bit overblown.
Thinking like that puts you in their frame.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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zekko

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If a guy wants to focus on conversational skills, dressing better, getting in better shape, getting rid of his negative attitude, etc., great. His "confidence" may well improve as other areas improve. But "confidence" shouldn't necessarily be the goal.
I agree "confidence" is a fairly vague concept as defined by PUAs. I would strive for decisiveness, bold action, taking right action, taking ownership of your actions - that sort of thing instead, along with those you mentioned.
 
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