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Recent observations on Confidence.

evan12

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Hang on.... I don't want to straw man your point but are you saying its harder to fake confidence than be actually confident?

I'd imagine the opposite is true..
No, I am saying faking confidence could get results with women , simply because women look at the final results , they will say that man is confidant , but they dont analyze from where it came .
 

HyenaPrince

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No, I am saying faking confidence could get results with women , simply because women look at the final results , they will say that man is confidant , but they dont analyze from where it came .
You'd have to be a devilish good actor in order to pull that off naturally. Authenticity is almost impossible to fake. Even if you manage to fake confidence, you'd probably merely attract low quality women. Women can smell those things.
 

Epicenter

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You'd have to be a devilish good actor in order to pull that off naturally. Authenticity is almost impossible to fake. Even if you manage to fake confidence, you'd probably merely attract low quality women. Women can smell those things.
Fake confidence is good for the women. The guy shows that he is ready to take risk for girls. That is important. The more he invests by trying to put energy to create fake confidence the more is he in here spidernet. He shows he is ready to sacrifice his integrity (energy) for her. That means she can expect more sacrifice from him.
 

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HyenaPrince

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Fake confidence is good for the women. The guy shows that he is ready to take risk for girls. That is important. The more he invests by trying to put energy to create fake confidence the more is he in here spidernet. He shows he is ready to sacrifice his integrity (energy) for her. That means she can expect more sacrifice from him.
I disagree. Your statement sounds like a generalization. Good for all (the) women or good for (the) women that are repelled by that fake confidence in the first place and, in turn, use that particular man for further purposes? Because you'd have to assume that there is a large portion of women that wouldn't even start engaging in a sexual or emotional relationship with a man that shows fake confidence. I see your point, but it's not comprehensive.
 

zekko

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Fake confidence is good for the women.
Women wouldn't know authentic confidence if it hit them in the arse. Here's a video talking about how studies show that bullies have more dating success with women. I see no reason to disbelieve that, it matches what I have seen. But as the host notes, bullying tends to result from an insecure attitude, but they put up an aggressive front. This is just an example of how fake confidence will work with women. I don't buy this idea that women have this super power that allows them to sniff out what a guy is really thinking. To me, it appears they just go off of superficial cues.

 

Mike32ct

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Women wouldn't know authentic confidence if it hit them in the arse. Here's a video talking about how studies show that bullies have more dating success with women. I see no reason to disbelieve that, it matches what I have seen. But as the host notes, bullying tends to result from an insecure attitude, but they put up an aggressive front. This is just an example of how fake confidence will work with women. I don't buy this idea that women have this super power that allows them to sniff out what a guy is really thinking. To me, it appears they just go off of superficial cues.

That's why I think it's almost pointless for a guy to focus on "improving confidence." Men and women can't even agree on what confidence is.

If a guy wants to focus on conversational skills, dressing better, getting in better shape, getting rid of his negative attitude, etc., great. His "confidence" may well improve as other areas improve. But "confidence" shouldn't necessarily be the goal.

Assuming women can "read your mind" always seemed a bit superstitious to me. Or that they can "size you up in seconds" sounds a bit overblown.
 

mrgoodstuff

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That's why I think it's almost pointless for a guy to focus on "improving confidence." Men and women can't even agree on what confidence is.

If a guy wants to focus on conversational skills, dressing better, getting in better shape, getting rid of his negative attitude, etc., great. His "confidence" may well improve as other areas improve. But "confidence" shouldn't necessarily be the goal.

Assuming women can "read your mind" always seemed a bit superstitious to me. Or that they can "size you up in seconds" sounds a bit overblown.
Thinking like that puts you in their frame.
 

zekko

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If a guy wants to focus on conversational skills, dressing better, getting in better shape, getting rid of his negative attitude, etc., great. His "confidence" may well improve as other areas improve. But "confidence" shouldn't necessarily be the goal.
I agree "confidence" is a fairly vague concept as defined by PUAs. I would strive for decisiveness, bold action, taking right action, taking ownership of your actions - that sort of thing instead, along with those you mentioned.
 
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