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Really need a man’s advice. He broke up w/ his ex. Got with me. Got back w/her. They broke up and now he’s back w/ me. Has he developed feelings?

metalwater

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- she didn't want him any more for whatever reasons or whatever feelings, board, hypergamy, was always transactional.
- you look a little bit like a younger version of her.
- you and he get together
- she either knows it or feels it and now she wants him again for shor time due to competition
- he runs right back, she lowers her interest again because of that and whatever is the original issues. she has other option.
- goes back to you cause that's much better than nothing.

in short, might be a great guy and might not.
you are option #2 for him and it sounds like he is option #2 for his ex.

you deserve to be option #1, and make sure you are also picking option #1 unless you're just looking for fun.

you can be option #2 for almost any guy, as your not fat and your teeth are ok.

pass on this one.
 

Velasco

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Personally I don’t think she’s all that attractive
It doesnt matter what you think. It's what he thinks. To him, she's hot and u aight. Nothing you can do about it.
 

Dilemma99

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It doesnt matter what you think. It's what he thinks. To him, she's hot and u aight. Nothing you can do about it.
how do you figure that I’m just alright to him? I would think looks have no bearing here.
 

Velasco

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how do you figure that I’m just alright to him?
By the way he treats you and the way you respond to him. He knows he can have you if he wanted to. Cuz ur not "hot" to him.
I would think looks have no bearing here.
She on the other hand is "hot" to him, so he acts the way he does (like a simp) in response to how he views her. She in turn responses to him the way he views her (how a hot girl would act towards someone she views as beneath her).

That's why we on here to treat hot girls as aight girls. Game.

No game = simp like behavior.
 

Glassguy

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Just a few more thoughts:

1.) He was with her apparently for a long time, so there is much more invested in her than you. Just the way it is.
2.) He ALWAYS had full intentions of running back to her once the opportunity was there.
3.) He knew he could have you and his ex was more of a challenge. Now I dont think things end well for him with the ex, and I am going to assume she dumped him in the original relationship, but OP should move on no matter what. At this point she is sacrificing her self esteem and standards while trying to hang on to this dude.

Guys- pay attention to a few things (sorry OP but I am going to use you as an example) as they are VERY important in female behavior:

1.) When you dump a chick, they will do this sort of stuff. They will sit around wondering what happened, trying to digest all the details, etc. This thread just goes to show that once you make a female invest (plane tickets, etc) she will be right there waiting for you if you decide to come back. It doesnt work the other way around. This is why you DUMP/Exit/Disappear when a woman starts pulling back (loss of attraction, loss of respect, etc). It puts you in this exact same position most of the time.

2.) He/she that is invested the least will always have the upper hand.

3.) When you throw women crumbs they will gobble them up and just keep coming back for more.

4.) Women want what they cant have or what is a challenge. When you dudes throw yourselves at a woman who has done nothing to have earned it, desperation reeks in the air. You must be the challenge to get any woman to willfully submit.
 

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Dilemma99

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Just a few more thoughts:

1.) He was with her apparently for a long time, so there is much more invested in her than you. Just the way it is.
2.) He ALWAYS had full intentions of running back to her once the opportunity was there.
3.) He knew he could have you and his ex was more of a challenge. Now I dont think things end well for him with the ex, and I am going to assume she dumped him in the original relationship, but OP should move on no matter what. At this point she is sacrificing her self esteem and standards while trying to hang on to this dude.

Guys- pay attention to a few things (sorry OP but I am going to use you as an example) as they are VERY important in female behavior:

1.) When you dump a chick, they will do this sort of stuff. They will sit around wondering what happened, trying to digest all the details, etc. This thread just goes to show that once you make a female invest (plane tickets, etc) she will be right there waiting for you if you decide to come back. It doesnt work the other way around. This is why you DUMP/Exit/Disappear when a woman starts pulling back (loss of attraction, loss of respect, etc). It puts you in this exact same position most of the time.

2.) He/she that is invested the least will always have the upper hand.

3.) When you throw women crumbs they will gobble them up and just keep coming back for more.

4.) Women want what they cant have or what is a challenge. When you dudes throw yourselves at a woman who has done nothing to have earned it, desperation reeks in the air. You must be the challenge to get any woman to willfully submit.
so basically he doesn’t respect me and sees me as low value?
 

Lookatu

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Ok which SS member is playing around with this poor girl?

Mall pickup? Who has done those the most? ;)
 

Hank Moody

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Ok which SS member is playing around with this poor girl?

Mall pickup? Who has done those the most? ;)
Speaking of mall pickup. Random story from high school.

Met this girl at a mall when I was in 10th grade. She gives me her #, then when I call a few days later, she acts like she doesn't know who I am. When I tell her how we met, she goes 'oh yeah. I didn't give you my #. Don't know how you got it.'

Dang. She was cold.
 

Lookatu

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Speaking of mall pickup. Random story from high school.

Met this girl at a mall when I was in 10th grade. She gives me her #, then when I call a few days later, she acts like she doesn't know who I am. When I tell her how we met, she goes 'oh yeah. I didn't give you my #. Don't know how you got it.'

Dang. She was cold.
Bro, you know girls will forget you after the first day. Your mistake was waiting a "few" days later to contact her. LOL

Girls that give their numbers too fast or put out too fast, you are just a number to them and nothing special. Just another notch in their belts...
 

bat soup

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So this guy (30/m) I’m (22/f) seeing just broke up with his ex recently. He wanted to marry her but it didn’t work out. He met me, we hooked up, and spent a week together when I flew out to see him. 2 days later he sends me a text saying he’s working things out with his ex, that we’re just friends, and to take this picture I had added on my Instagram story down (from the week we spent together), then he unfollowed me and I saw that he added his ex back. Fast forward 2 weeks later he added me back on social media and saw that he and the ex unfollowed each other. He told me that broke up again the night before. Anyways, I flew back out to see him 3 weeks after they broke up again.

The first time I was here (last month) as I said he called me his friend and told me he didn’t want him getting in the way of me meeting other guys. Now that I’m back out here his friends wanted to go out so I went with him which I took as a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends. So now I’m convinced he only said those things (saying we were just friends and not to get in the way of meeting other men) because he felt forced to by the ex and didn’t really mean it.

Here’s a little more back story:

We met through my cousin and they’re really good friends. My cousin is also really good friends with the ex. Both parties have confided in so my cousin so she has the inside scoop.

They were broken up for 5 months. Went full NC for 2 or 3 months. I met him months prior, no hanging out yet. He unfollowed me on IG when when they started talking again but not together. He was supposed to go be with her and her family for the holidays and then that’s when they went full NC for 2 months. He added me back and then eventually made plans to see him vday weekend.

During the 2 months they went NC I was told he was crying over her, making posts about her, 2 days before I flew out there he even made a post with her initials saying he missed her, bought tickets for a June concert because he knew she’d be there and was hoping to run into her, and even contacted her mom. So apparently he kept trying but she kept ignoring him. Then on vday, when I was here, he contacted her to say happy vday. I left a few days later and that same day that I left he asked her to go to dinner. This is when he texted me saying he was working things out with her, they had gone to dinner, and that we were just friends, stop making and to take down all posts about my visit. He was also upfront with her about me.

So while they briefly got back together he had talked about how she was going to be his wife and the mother of his children. So he found out that she had seen someone while they were broken up. He got really upset and angry about it and told her now he’s unsure if he wanted to be with her. She in turn got all dramatic and she kicked him to the curb a few weeks later. He begged for her to stay but she still broke up with him. The very next day after their breakup he added me back on social media, and 3 weeks later now I’m here. So I’m out here with his friends again. I do know after meeting me the first time his friend said, “don’t screw it up with the *ex’s name*, she’s the best you’re ever going to get”. So I thought he was bringing me around again so that his friends could get to know me better. So all good signs?

So yea, all of this was told to me by cousin and she and she showed me some of the screenshots.

So my question is, has he developed feelings for me/like me? I don’t think a man will spend days with you (I’m out here for a week) and have you meet his friends unless he has feelings for you and it’s not about sex. So am I right?
He just wants to bang. It's quite obvious from his behaviour that this is all that it is.
 

Dilemma99

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He just wants to bang. It's quite obvious from his behaviour that this is all that it is.
if a man is spending ample time with a woman, taking her out, meeting the friends - all signs he likes you in most cases, but not here I guess, then how does a woman know a man wants to date her and not just “bang”?
 

Glassguy

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so basically he doesn’t respect me and sees me as low value?
Did I say he doesnt respect you and sees you as low value?

I dont think anyone here can help you but you are more than welcome to observe with the other betas.
 

TheFinalLine

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So this guy (30/m) I’m (22/f) seeing just broke up with his ex recently. He wanted to marry her but it didn’t work out. He met me, we hooked up, and spent a week together when I flew out to see him. 2 days later he sends me a text saying he’s working things out with his ex, that we’re just friends, and to take this picture I had added on my Instagram story down (from the week we spent together), then he unfollowed me and I saw that he added his ex back. Fast forward 2 weeks later he added me back on social media and saw that he and the ex unfollowed each other. He told me that broke up again the night before. Anyways, I flew back out to see him 3 weeks after they broke up again.

The first time I was here (last month) as I said he called me his friend and told me he didn’t want him getting in the way of me meeting other guys. Now that I’m back out here his friends wanted to go out so I went with him which I took as a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends. So now I’m convinced he only said those things (saying we were just friends and not to get in the way of meeting other men) because he felt forced to by the ex and didn’t really mean it.

Here’s a little more back story:

We met through my cousin and they’re really good friends. My cousin is also really good friends with the ex. Both parties have confided in so my cousin so she has the inside scoop.

They were broken up for 5 months. Went full NC for 2 or 3 months. I met him months prior, no hanging out yet. He unfollowed me on IG when when they started talking again but not together. He was supposed to go be with her and her family for the holidays and then that’s when they went full NC for 2 months. He added me back and then eventually made plans to see him vday weekend.

During the 2 months they went NC I was told he was crying over her, making posts about her, 2 days before I flew out there he even made a post with her initials saying he missed her, bought tickets for a June concert because he knew she’d be there and was hoping to run into her, and even contacted her mom. So apparently he kept trying but she kept ignoring him. Then on vday, when I was here, he contacted her to say happy vday. I left a few days later and that same day that I left he asked her to go to dinner. This is when he texted me saying he was working things out with her, they had gone to dinner, and that we were just friends, stop making and to take down all posts about my visit. He was also upfront with her about me.

So while they briefly got back together he had talked about how she was going to be his wife and the mother of his children. So he found out that she had seen someone while they were broken up. He got really upset and angry about it and told her now he’s unsure if he wanted to be with her. She in turn got all dramatic and she kicked him to the curb a few weeks later. He begged for her to stay but she still broke up with him. The very next day after their breakup he added me back on social media, and 3 weeks later now I’m here. So I’m out here with his friends again. I do know after meeting me the first time his friend said, “don’t screw it up with the *ex’s name*, she’s the best you’re ever going to get”. So I thought he was bringing me around again so that his friends could get to know me better. So all good signs?

So yea, all of this was told to me by cousin and she and she showed me some of the screenshots.

So my question is, has he developed feelings for me/like me? I don’t think a man will spend days with you (I’m out here for a week) and have you meet his friends unless he has feelings for you and it’s not about sex. So am I right?
I know it will be difficult for you to really answer the question I am going to ask. I briefly read through this post of yours. No. I didn’t digest all of it. It’s too much randomity with the emotional dot connecting for me to assimilate. It’s a testosterone thing. But I got the gist.

Are you still too deep in your desire chemicals to actually listen? Can you admit that you are not yourself right now? You know how women get when there’s a lot of chemical attraction going on. They really aren’t themselves.
 

Dilemma99

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Did I say he doesnt respect you and sees you as low value?

I dont think anyone here can help you but you are more than welcome to observe with the other betas.
no, you didn’t. However, you did mention he knows that he can have me and his ex is more of a challenge. When you know you can get a woman at anytime and she isn’t a challenge do you view her as high value?
 

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Glassguy

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no, you didn’t. However, you did mention he knows that he can have me and his ex is more of a challenge. When you know you can get a woman at anytime and she isn’t a challenge do you view her as high value?
Typical woman and over analyzing literally everything lol.

Do you think men view women they can easy have as higher value than one that he has to work for?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Typical woman and over analyzing literally everything lol.

Do you think men view women they can easy have as higher value than one that he has to work for?
Has "working for" a female ever put any of us in a good position? Usually if she wants us in a good position they value us and will "work for us" .
 

Visionist

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This guy is lovesick for his ex. Normally that alone would be enough to put other women off but you've already hooked yourself on him and see him as a catch despite him being a pathetic simp (no man with a shred of self respect admits crying over an ex to another girl, or to anyone). My guess is, he's a betabux (guy with money who can't get laid otherwise) whose never had abundance.

Anyway he wants to play BF-GF, he's thirsty for relationship energy, and since he can't get that from his ex, he's happy enough to get it from you for the time being. Are you having sex every day, or more times a day? You're both still in the honeymoon period, look up NRE (New Relationship Energy).

He might even convince himself he likes you as more than just a fvckbuddy, but make no mistake, if his ex gives him another chance, he'll dance to her tune like the simp he is, and give you another "we're friends" and "delete me" pep talk.

He's already done it once.
 

manfrombelow

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Speaking of mall pickup. Random story from high school.

Met this girl at a mall when I was in 10th grade. She gives me her #, then when I call a few days later, she acts like she doesn't know who I am. When I tell her how we met, she goes 'oh yeah. I didn't give you my #. Don't know how you got it.'

Dang. She was cold.
Reality Denial Mode aka Women 101

Fvcking classic.
 
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