"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Rate this guys face plz

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Cheeky_James

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CJ doesn't this^^ prove there is no magic "formula" that will guarantee a woman will feel chemistry with you?
Yes EXACTLY.
Cos all based on LOOKS and physical chemistry!!!
I’m glad you got there in the end !! :D :p
The rest of it is a backwards rationalisation by the woman of how the guys personality is also attractive as she’s highky tuned on, firstly by his Looks!! She makes the decision very quickly.

What other explanation could their be..
Reference the sayings
“Love is blind”
“I painted his red flags green “
Etc

Three woman, one didnt feel chemistry, two others DID! You behaved the exact same with all three! Your "game," your looks were the same

There is no rhyme or reason to any of this IME. Looksmaxxing etc. There are guys on this forum who have posted about going out wearing a Nike sweatshirt, jeans and baseball cap and they have pulled plenty of women!

I agree with it's about how a woman feels when she sees you, meets you and in your presence.

Not sure if such feelings can be manufactured by what he "does," for me personally when I notice a man "trying" to impress me or trying to create a feeling in me, it's a great big turn off. It comes off contrived and phony in many instances.

To me he lacks true confidence to just be himself and trust that's enough. If not, so be, he moves on

I will either feel it naturally and organically or I won't. He does NOT have to be the most attractive man in the room, he does not have to be a model or be wearing the perfect shoes, clothes, have the right hair etc. He doesn't even need to have a lot of charm or charisma!

What he needs to be is attractive to me, and yes I have my own standards which I won't bother listing because another woman might have a different list.

And I am not one to brag but I am considered quite attractive, depending on the guy and what attracts him. Whether he likes blondes or brunettea, light-skinned, dark-skinned, petite, tall etc. Like we've been saying it's all subjective.

My current boyfriend for example thinks I am a solid 10! :lol: No joke, even when I wake up in the morning! Lol

So it really has nothing to do with how beautiful a woman is, women are women, she either feels chemistry, that certain somethin somethin, sexual tension or she doesn't.

Don't try to force it CJ or find the magic sauce, just be you. Be the best you can be, if that means getting in better physical shape or getting a better haircut or whatever do it! For YOU. Women will notice but do it for you.

It's been said here when a chick is into you, you could do handstands in the middle of Fifth Avenue in NYC and she will think it's hilarious!

Another woman not feeling it will think you are obnoxious and be turned off.

That's how genuine attraction and chemistry works IME anyway and what I have observed outside this forum IRL.

$.02
yes again exactly.
So all this ‘game’ talk is nonsense.
A guy that has ‘game’ with women , a player . has it because of his great Looks.

that’s all there is too it.

Game = good Looks.

The more handsome a man is = the most opportunities and females he will get.

period!

so any kind of personality maxxing or other maxxing outaide of

-Looks maxxing /fashion
(Including giving off a higher status vibe W Looks)

is putting efforts into something that DOESNT REALLY MATTER.

It won’t move the needle with women for plain faced dude.

there is only playing much bigger numbers that such a player guy does. And hope to get lucky.

so in that case. Most guys ‘fail’ in interactions with women , due to just not having the Looks.
there is no ‘game’ problem the guy is having….wrt to his charm or charisma , his rapport building or his pacing in the interaction.

He was dead in a few seconds into the interacfion
Regardless of all the analysis.
 
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Sega Genesis

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I’m glad you got there in the end !!
I didn't 'get there,' I have been posting about physical chemistry and energy from the beginning.

Game = good Looks.
Good looks TO HER.

Again it's subjective and it's also based on his natural vibe, how he carries himself, his voice, it's ALL related.

Nuff said.
 
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Cheeky_James

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I didn't 'get there,' I have been posting about physical chemistry and energy from the beginning.



Good looks TO HER.

Again it's subjective and it's also based on his natural vibe, how he carries himself, his voice, it's ALL related.

Nuff said.
fvck.
I got you mixed up with BE.
Again. lol. Soz.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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characternote

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Good looks TO HER.
Yes. Now we're getting slightly into the nuance which is something i've spoken about at length.
I'm very blackpilled, and I always say everyone is over a long enough timeline and with enough experience. There is always that 'looks threshold' (especially when talking about cold approach and especially on young girls in their prime) which without meeting, no amount of game is gonna move the needle. But I'm not half as pessimistic as my fellow blackpillers because i'm aware that there is some blatant subjectivity. I'm aware it means that I have to hit on maybe 100x more girls than my chad friends in order to bang some crazy hot young girl. Even if my 'game' is 10x better than his. That's just teh way it is. But i've done it! More than a handful of times! It's why I think of cold approach not only as a 'numbers game' but more searching for unicorns in my case!! i.e beautiful girls (to my tastes, such as the one I posted above), half my age, who are attracted to my not especially handsome self! They're hard to find! And learning more 'game' doesn't change a thing. But getting as good looking as possible and approaching in SERIOUS volume is what has worked for me lol

Not to say that of course there's not such a thing as objective beauty. A face that 98% of women would think of as gorgeous and would sleep with the man attached too it without him having to do anything remotely special. I've witnessed that too!! More than a handful of times lol
 

Cheeky_James

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Having said that. Jayz and Beyonce in her prime. Jayz is objectively ugly and Beyonce is/ was objectively beautiful.

Yes he is a billionaire but she is also filthy rich so that evens each other out..

Beyonce could literally date any male model or pretty actor. Yet she choose Jayz. Why? Because he's a charismatic mofo!

So logically you can apply this to any social settings where the man and woman are somewhat equal. Pretty female waitress and ugly male cook. Pretty cashier and ugly store manager. Pretty student and ugly student.

You are a troll and the forum keeps feeding you so..oh well..
this is the kind of BS that is rife on this forum.
JayZ the billionaire with his super high status….

“Oh but it was his ‘charisma’ that swung it for him to get Beyoncé.” :rolleyes: “so therefore. logically. this proves proves -> blah blah blah”

this is like a Quantum Leap of low IQ …linking those things all together and applying it to the average guy (or even worse )the ugly guy ..as some ‘transferable’ magic charisma as a root factor of better success with women. That charisma is the great equalizer.

as if charisma stands on its own and can be learned/gained by the average guy or ugly guy.

jayZ ‘s mad ‘charisma’ comes from his Billions and his super success in music . His super -high STATUS bro. His influence.
FML

Ie- His Money and his Power.

As Charisma = Mad Power and influence.

that’s the meaning of the word. Look it up.
 
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Cheeky_James

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Yes. Now we're getting slightly into the nuance which is something i've spoken about at length.
I'm very blackpilled, and I always say everyone is over a long enough timeline and with enough experience. There is always that 'looks threshold' (especially when talking about cold approach and especially on young girls in their prime) which without meeting, no amount of game is gonna move the needle. But I'm not half as pessimistic as my fellow blackpillers because i'm aware that there is some blatant subjectivity. I'm aware it means that I have to hit on maybe 100x more girls than my chad friends in order to bang some crazy hot young girl. Even if my 'game' is 10x better than his. That's just teh way it is. But i've done it! More than a handful of times! It's why I think of cold approach not only as a 'numbers game' but more searching for unicorns in my case!! i.e beautiful girls (to my tastes, such as the one I posted above), half my age, who are attracted to my not especially handsome self! They're hard to find! And learning more 'game' doesn't change a thing. But getting as good looking as possible and approaching in SERIOUS volume is what has worked for me lol

Not to say that of course there's not such a thing as objective beauty. A face that 98% of women would think of as gorgeous and would sleep with the man attached too it without him having to do anything remotely special. I've witnessed that too!! More than a handful of times lol
A few questions for you
what do you think is happening with those 1/100 crazy hot young girl (s) .. why did they get with you?

Also
As you’ve done so many approaches now..
How quickly can you tell if the girl is keen and if your pickup attempt will progress ?

And how quickly do you think women feel it as a Y/N? Ie physical chemistry.

I think on the womans side the decision is made in a few seconds.

men get a boner in a few seconds
Women similarly get Gina tingles in a few seconds. basically.

edit ; maybe @Sega Genesis and @BeExcellent
Can describe what that feels like on the womans side in those first few seconds. Physiologically . In their lady parts :)

I’ve heard it described as a ‘lady-boner’ also. :D:lol:
 
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UK manc

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Have you stopped drinking yet CJ.

I'm not into rating men's faces but I know personally vary wildly depending on 10%, or 18% bodyfat with alcohol bloat.

Even those last few pounds from 14% to 10% make incredibly subtle differences.

You'll not get to 10% bodyfat unless you cut your drinking to at most once per fortnight.
 

Cheeky_James

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@UK manc
Can u let up w that sh1t mate?
Post up some pics of your amazing body or else put a sock in it bro. Seriously.

have you gotten laid from cold approach yet?
I can’t find your Lay reports on here…
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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BeExcellent

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Everything I have stated is rooted in factual life experience & observation over many years. Nothing I have said is untrue or unreasonable.

Want some examples of men who are not attractive but did or are doing well with women? Barak Obama, Bill Clinton, Henry Kissinger, LBJ, and Bruce Willis all come to mind. But each of these men were or are quite charming & charismatic. Charm and charisma is what got them into the powerful positions they ended up in. I have never been able to figure out how women could find LBJ attractive, but he was quite the ladies man years before Clinton came along. Look at Billy Bob Thornton or Tommy Lee Jones or Lyle Lovett. Charm and charisma combined with talent was the ticket, not looks. And just how many average to below average musicians are running around doing just fine with women? Kissinger was quite a ladies man in his day, appearance aside. So this idea that looks are the only important thing is cope.

It is an excuse.

I appreciate @characternote in his honesty. Yeah ok, the law of averages may favor Chad. I mean most men here would love a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or Maxim covergirl too....but that's no different than average women crushing on men with elite looks (that they will never obtain).....and yet plenty of couples pair off more often than not with a partner in similar attractiveness bracket.

Look at Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. Some woman out there thinks an average looking man is cute/sexy/attractive.

One of my sisters is married to a man 30+ years who was never a handsome man (my sister is pretty and thin), and he has a big facial scar from a work accident. She knew him socially and the attraction grew as she got to know him. He's a solid man in every way, he's just never been a looker. And know what? He does not care. He is quite secure in himself and is a man's man in every way.

Food for thought.
 

Cheeky_James

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@BeExcellent
How can you ‘appreciate ‘ what CharacterNote is saying .. and then tell me I’m coping?

My story and position is the same as his wrt to picking up women and the value of Looks.

You’re all over the place.:rofl:

And stop using celebrities as examples of ‘average’ looking guys pulling hot women :rolleyes:
They are not average guys. They are celebrities ffs.
it’s the same old story here re the “proof”.
Someone else mentioned JayZ and Beyoncé wrt charisma. FML

charisma = elevated specialness, way above and beyond the ‘average’.
It can’t be ‘learned’ . It’s earned.
by someone’s Great Looks. Rare Talent ,their gaining of High Status .. and Charisma is the effect of their Power and Influence .

you’re the ones coping on here leaning on Charisma as some great equalizer.
LOL

there is no ‘average ‘ guy with Charisma.
That’s a contradiction in basic terms .
 
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BeExcellent

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@BeExcellent
How can you ‘appreciate ‘ what CharacterNote is saying .. and then tell me I’m coping?

My story and position is the same as his.
No its far more nuanced than you are getting. Read what I wrote & look up photos of those men I mentioned.

The difference seems to me to be that he understands that he is not going to compete evenly in looks. So he knows he is looking for women who specifically vibe on his wavelength and are attracted to his uniqueness. And he full well realizes and accepts that is going to require more effort, and he is willing to extend that effort without being concerned about other men, or about why women find other men attractive....he is looking for women who meet his standards who find HIM attractive as an individual. That stance itself is attractive and has nothing to do with looks.

So he does not appear, imo to be concerned with what others are doing. He's not making posts about existential stuff he cannot control. He is focused on what he can control, which is himself. Perhaps he has a similar opinion as you regarding the whole looks thing but he's not allowing that to hinder him going about his business.

He strikes me as a pretty centered guy from his contributions here.

Attraction is not algebra. It is not formulaic. Nuance is so important, but it is also highly subjective, and frankly its tough to accurately explain nuances if someone has trouble grasing the concept.
 
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Cheeky_James

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@BeExcellent

I am not looking up photos of CELEBRITIES.
Special people with an ‘X-factor’ who became famous because of it. Of course they have Charisma. That’s what it means. Special. Way above the normal and average.

Give me some examples of average looking or ugly looking guys who are NOT celebrities and have noticeable charisma.

pick a few from YouTube or Instagram .
There should be heaps out there to put up as evidence . if your assertions are correct.
 
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BeExcellent

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@BeExcellent

I am not looking up photos of CELEBRITIES.
Special people with an ‘X-factor’ who became famous because of it. Of course they have Charisma. That’s what it means. Special. Way above the normal and average.

Give me some examples of average looking or ugly looking guys who are NOT celebrities and have noticeable charisma.

pick a few from YouTube or Instagram .
There should be heaps out there to put up as evidence . if your theory is correct.
That's the problem in a nutshell. You cannot see charm or charisma, so a photo is pointless.

You can't see how someone makes others FEEL by posting a photo.

I'm not going to post photos of people I personally know like this for privacy reasons (mine and theirs) and I can't tell from a photo of someone I don't know whether or not they have charm/charisma anymore than you can.

Its not about what someone looks like.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Cheeky_James

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I said youtube or instagram - pick some videos.
You’re just dodging and deflecting.

If there are such dudes *I* should FEEL it watching them.
btw I asked @BillyPilgrim also for some evidence.
And he can’t provide any either.

Yknow, it’s telling from that former PUA grifters have since move on and rebranded themselves as ‘Charisma Coaches.’.
The likes of Owen Cook and his cohort , Jeffy Allen and Julien Blanc.


that says it all to me. It’s the same old BS just repackaged.

edit : in fact Owen Cook himself is prime evidence of how this is a crock of sh1t. He has as little charisma now as he did 20 years ago.
 
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BeExcellent

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I said youtube or instagram - pick some videos.
You’re just dodging and deflecting.

If there are such dudes *I* should FEEL it watching them.

it’s telling from that former PuA grifters have moved on from that into ‘Charisma Coaching.’.
The likes of Owen Cook and his cohort , Jeffy Allen and Julien Blanc.

that says it all to me. It’s the same old BS jsut repackaged.
Like those mediums are unbiased, lol.

Don't be silly. Normal people are not posting videos. They are occupied with real life, but plenty of real people are charming, they are not that self absorbed.

Its not dodgy at all to say no to that. I find it unecessary. I gave you concrete examples of real people. You simply move the goalposts.

Rest well. Goodnight.
 
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Cheeky_James

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Like those mediums are unbiased, lol. Don't be silly. Normal people are not posting videos. They are occupied with real life, but plenty of real people are charming.
LOLZ .:rofl:
There’s millions of ‘normal’ people posting videos on YT , IG and TikTok ..every single day mate.

this is beyond rediculous now.
 

UK manc

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@UK manc
Can u let up w that sh1t mate?
Post up some pics of your amazing body or else put a sock in it bro. Seriously.

have you gotten laid from cold approach yet?
I can’t find your Lay reports on here…
Photos aren't great as has been discussed in the last few posts - mannerisms, movements and reactions bro. But anyway
 

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characternote

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what do you think is happening with those 1/100 crazy hot young girl (s) .. why did they get with you?
I can only assume it's a mixture of her thinking I was good looking (even if none of her friends would ever describe me as such!) and maybe an element of natural 'chemistry' in terms of the way we connected and bantered. In redpill terms I guess you'd call it 'meeting her looks threshold and having enough 'game' not to mess it up'.

I pulled a very hot girl at a temp job a while ago. I posted her pic here although don't feel comfortable to blast her pic online again, although I think I showed you once. Even with her, after we first had sex and I done my usual 'de-brief' and asked her why she wanted me, she said she thought I was' super fit' (which means handsome here) and wanted me from when she first saw me. Now.... i'm not good looking, really. Confirmed by my rejection rate and my almost ZERO tinder matches!!! lol. But she thought I was
How quickly can you tell if the girl is keen and if your pickup attempt will progress ?
Honestly, with a cold approach, I can usually tell VERY fast. In the case of a girl who is clearly not interested and wouldn't be even if I had mystery and tyler and jeffy and todd and Ross Jefferries all feeding me the perfect lines to say through an earpiece! With them girls I'd say I can tell within like 3 seconds. Interestingly, it's the same with 'pros' in infeilds. I can tell extremely fast after their open whether this infield will go somewhere or whether it'll go in their 'rejection compilation'. When I think 'she's not interetsed', he can never ever turn it around even with his 'coach level game'

And how quickly do you think women feel it as a Y/N? Ie physical chemistry.
Not sure. Like, I think you can approach a girl who maybe thinks you are 'quite good looking' and she's not gonna reject you on your looks, but she'll want to 'feel' some sort of chemistry (that's not really needed with 'chad'. OR she 'feels' it instantly with him. It's just different and she interprates that raw attraction as 'chemistry'). So that could take longer in them instances. I'd guess 10 mins or so but i'd only be guessing. I guess that's why many dates (assuming the guy isn't a cat fish) don't work out
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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