"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Radar texts
- Thread starter Aleks1201
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
backseatjuan
Banned
That is not a radar text lol. It's needy. Radar text are non-needy. Like saying something that happened in my life. But it needs to be good.
Like: A gradpa just cut the line in the store adn bought condoms and vodka! WTF?!
TonyTenner
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 4, 2020
- Messages
- 252
- Reaction score
- 186
- Age
- 43
That's a lot more needy than "What you wearing?"
backseatjuan
Banned
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Visionist
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2016
- Messages
- 837
- Reaction score
- 876
- Age
- 38
So for instance I'll randomly send her a message about how the atmosphere in a superclub is charged with sexual tension between the DJ and his crowd. I'll talk about the DJ's seduction of his willing audience, starting with fun foreplay, moving onto a deep, hard set where there's no going back, leading up to a shattering musical climax that leaves the crowd delirious and sweaty.
Not only am I not asking her for anything, but I'm making a statement of my higher value. I rarely do this though, as very few girls need to be kept "on a radar" for any reason. Either we're seeing each other and communicating or I go silent.
GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
- Messages
- 953
- Reaction score
- 690
- Age
- 30
Bruh... what??
Lol mannnnnnnnn listen... you can say literally anything to a girl who's interested in you. Although... I don't think what @Visionist typed would work for me. Maybe that feels natural for him... Not for me though. Maybe because I've never even been to a super club. But examples of things I've said to girls:
Hey, hope you're doing alright <-this one was during tHeSe TiMeZzz. I actually thought about if this would be weird... but think about it.. she's at home doing nothing... in my case she's at her parent's house. Some "human interaction" is probably welcomed. And I don't think there's anything needy about saying it. I did hope she was doing okay. I didn't ask any questions and I genuinely just wanted to reach out and make her feel good. Keep it simple.
I asked a girl how something we previously talked about was going. I was curious. I wanted to talk to her. Simple as that bruvvy.
Don't think about it too much, too much, too much, too muuu-uuuuch....
tldr; just be genuine with some social awareness. If they're interested and a decent person then they'll at least say "Hey, I hope you are too". If they don't... they did the work for you - next.
has low IL
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.