"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ChocolateVanilla

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There's this girl I've been talking to for a month now (long story), but when I asked her to "hang out" alone with me she said "I'd rather be friends first" even though I get plenty of IOI's from this girl. She also never had a boyfriend or never went out with a guy, and never even got hit on before in her life. The thing I don't get is, that whenever she's around her guy friends, she holds hands with them and walks with them, holds their arm while standing next to them, and hugs them. I mean she does this with pretty much all of her guy friends rather than just one guy. So I'm wondering what's going on here and how I should approach this situation?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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marinetti

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give up on her. it's pretty clear she isn't interested in anyone in particular. and you asked her to "hang out"? come on, man, you can do better than that.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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marinetti said:
give up on her. it's pretty clear she isn't interested in anyone in particular. and you asked her to "hang out"? come on, man, you can do better than that.
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That was just a summary of what happened lol. She also claims she's not mature enough to be anything more than friends with anyone. I just don't get the clear IOI's she gives to me and seems like she wants to get involved with her guy friends.
 
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marinetti

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although I don't want to try to psychoanalyze her here, I've known many girls like that. you're wasting your time.
 
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My Name is Nobody

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"I'd rather be friends" doesn't mean jack.

go out with her show her a good time and you'll be hitting it...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ChocolateVanilla

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marinetti said:
although I don't want to try to psychoanalyze her here, I've known many girls like that. you're wasting your time.
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Well, I'd like to know why, because I've never met any girl who acted like that around their guy friends. I've seen flirting, but it's not just regular flirting, it's like they're actually in a relationship but they're not. And she wants to put me in that "zone" I guess. I'm not quite sure how to approach this, even though I'm sure she is worth pursuing as you said.
 
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My Name is Nobody

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I just want you to know that a girl gave me the LJBF line a few days ago and last night she was sucking my d1ck.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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My Name is Nobody said:
I just want you to know that a girl gave me the LJBF line a few days ago and last night she was sucking my d1ck.
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Yeah, some of them have the "anti-slvt" defense but still give you IOI's, and this girl is giving me a lot of IOI's, but I'm thinking she's just being a tease/flirt. She is FINE and I'd like to get with her, but I do have other options, so like I said, I dunno if this is worth pursuing or not.
 
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nicknle

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I've met the type, If she's as attractive as you say then I'm guessing she's got one guy that she's really interested in. Her and said male are probably not in an actual 'declared' relationship (possibly due to life circumstances such as different colleges) but have confessed each other's love. If I were in your situation I'd probably not carry expectations, and just try to have fun with the situation. Try to confuse her, give her signs that you're really into her, and then do a 180 (the best way to do this is by giving the same signs to another girl in her presence). Don't be afraid to play around with the situation, somethings got to change anyways, cause as it's going right now you're probably just another guy to her. Prove her wrong.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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nicknle said:
I've met the type, If she's as attractive as you say then I'm guessing she's got one guy that she's really interested in. Her and said male are probably not in an actual 'declared' relationship (possibly due to life circumstances such as different colleges) but have confessed each other's love. If I were in your situation I'd probably not carry expectations, and just try to have fun with the situation. Try to confuse her, give her signs that you're really into her, and then do a 180 (the best way to do this is by giving the same signs to another girl in her presence). Don't be afraid to play around with the situation, somethings got to change anyways, cause as it's going right now you're probably just another guy to her. Prove her wrong.
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Well I'm pretty young and I'm in college right now so it's not exactly farfetched to believe she never had a boyfriend before, depending on the area she grew up in. And like I said, she flirts around with multiple guy friends lol. But I wouldn't mind playing around with the stiuation now.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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yama600rr

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persue her bro. what have you got to lose? dont give up too easy, if you want something you gotta put in the work!!! alot of girls are not going to like you right away until they get to know you.
 
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