"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ChocolateVanilla

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There's this girl I've been talking to for a month now (long story), but when I asked her to "hang out" alone with me she said "I'd rather be friends first" even though I get plenty of IOI's from this girl. She also never had a boyfriend or never went out with a guy, and never even got hit on before in her life. The thing I don't get is, that whenever she's around her guy friends, she holds hands with them and walks with them, holds their arm while standing next to them, and hugs them. I mean she does this with pretty much all of her guy friends rather than just one guy. So I'm wondering what's going on here and how I should approach this situation?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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marinetti

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give up on her. it's pretty clear she isn't interested in anyone in particular. and you asked her to "hang out"? come on, man, you can do better than that.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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marinetti said:
give up on her. it's pretty clear she isn't interested in anyone in particular. and you asked her to "hang out"? come on, man, you can do better than that.
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That was just a summary of what happened lol. She also claims she's not mature enough to be anything more than friends with anyone. I just don't get the clear IOI's she gives to me and seems like she wants to get involved with her guy friends.
 
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marinetti

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although I don't want to try to psychoanalyze her here, I've known many girls like that. you're wasting your time.
 
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My Name is Nobody

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"I'd rather be friends" doesn't mean jack.

go out with her show her a good time and you'll be hitting it...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ChocolateVanilla

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marinetti said:
although I don't want to try to psychoanalyze her here, I've known many girls like that. you're wasting your time.
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Well, I'd like to know why, because I've never met any girl who acted like that around their guy friends. I've seen flirting, but it's not just regular flirting, it's like they're actually in a relationship but they're not. And she wants to put me in that "zone" I guess. I'm not quite sure how to approach this, even though I'm sure she is worth pursuing as you said.
 
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My Name is Nobody

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I just want you to know that a girl gave me the LJBF line a few days ago and last night she was sucking my d1ck.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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My Name is Nobody said:
I just want you to know that a girl gave me the LJBF line a few days ago and last night she was sucking my d1ck.
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Yeah, some of them have the "anti-slvt" defense but still give you IOI's, and this girl is giving me a lot of IOI's, but I'm thinking she's just being a tease/flirt. She is FINE and I'd like to get with her, but I do have other options, so like I said, I dunno if this is worth pursuing or not.
 
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nicknle

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I've met the type, If she's as attractive as you say then I'm guessing she's got one guy that she's really interested in. Her and said male are probably not in an actual 'declared' relationship (possibly due to life circumstances such as different colleges) but have confessed each other's love. If I were in your situation I'd probably not carry expectations, and just try to have fun with the situation. Try to confuse her, give her signs that you're really into her, and then do a 180 (the best way to do this is by giving the same signs to another girl in her presence). Don't be afraid to play around with the situation, somethings got to change anyways, cause as it's going right now you're probably just another guy to her. Prove her wrong.
 
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ChocolateVanilla

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nicknle said:
I've met the type, If she's as attractive as you say then I'm guessing she's got one guy that she's really interested in. Her and said male are probably not in an actual 'declared' relationship (possibly due to life circumstances such as different colleges) but have confessed each other's love. If I were in your situation I'd probably not carry expectations, and just try to have fun with the situation. Try to confuse her, give her signs that you're really into her, and then do a 180 (the best way to do this is by giving the same signs to another girl in her presence). Don't be afraid to play around with the situation, somethings got to change anyways, cause as it's going right now you're probably just another guy to her. Prove her wrong.
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Well I'm pretty young and I'm in college right now so it's not exactly farfetched to believe she never had a boyfriend before, depending on the area she grew up in. And like I said, she flirts around with multiple guy friends lol. But I wouldn't mind playing around with the stiuation now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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yama600rr

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persue her bro. what have you got to lose? dont give up too easy, if you want something you gotta put in the work!!! alot of girls are not going to like you right away until they get to know you.
 
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