kayman79 said:
My advice to you is STAY AWAY from girls with bipolar disorder. It's not worth the grief. You can usually see the sign VERY quickly. One girl I dated took a few months. I guess they wait until there's a certain comfort level because they remove the curtain. She'd start arguments for no reason, things would set her into "hate mode" easily. For example if she saw something on TV that she didn't like or that she found offensive it would set her into a *****y mood for the rest of the night. It's not worth in bro.
I forgot to mention that it basically made her a sexually eradic. Sometimes she'd have a healthy sexual appetite and sometimes she wouldn't let you touch her for WEEKS.
I'm referring to borderline personality disorder.
I've been dating my girl for just about 2 months now and everything is going fine. She is super affectionate, she doesnt nag me about anything, and we have sex all the time. A few days ago she told me she loved me. She didnt put any pressure on me to say it back (I wouldn't have anyways...) but told me that she had never felt this way about any guy, etc. etc. Even her boyfriend of 4 years who she broke up with a few months back.
It almost seems too good to be true. We don't argue, she will bend over backwards to please me, and she always wants to talk but has no problem if I don't want to.
But something doesn't feel right. When I met her she played the whole "good girl" card and told me she had only had sex with 4 people. Well, a couple weeks ago we were laying in bed after a night out and she started crying and told me that her number was actually 16. (she's 19 years old and has been sexually active for about 5 years...yikes). Keep in mind she had been dating the same guy all throughout highschool off and on. He was controlling, manipulative, and abusive but he was always the guy she went back to. Her reason for having sex with so many people is because she never felt loved by anyone and she felt that was the only way to form a "connection" with a guy.
I bet after reading that you already know that she has daddy issues. Her father passed away when she was like 13. She met her highschool boyfriend soon after and lost her virginity to him in 8th grade. She has told me how her dad was an alcoholic and used to spy on her and her little sister when they were taking showers and stuff like that.
So I told her that I didn't care how many dudes she'd slept with, the only thing that bothered me was that she had lied to me about it. She apologized and said she didn't tell me because she was ashamed and didn't want me to think less of her. It took me about 6 weeks to get in her pants...she said I was "different" because she "really liked" me and didn't want to mess it up.
I found out some info about borderline personality disorder and a couple things stuck out in my mind.
-She has a victim complex, it seems like she blames other people when she has problems (never me, mainly her mom or sister).
-She always talks about how she looks to please other people before herself and how she "cares too much".
-She's scared of being alone. She said one time she cried when I left her apartment at the end of a weekend I spent with her (we live 1.5 hrs apart)
-All her exes are either obsessive creepers or *******s. According to her, they either ended up breaking her heart for no reason or becoming too infatuated with her, leading to her dumping them. She has told me that i am unlike every guy she's ever dated because I am neither.
- She is very judgemental and is quick to call out other girls for being sluts, when she obviously went through a slut phase of her own
The reason I was wondering about BPD and how long it took to notice is because right now things seem too perfect, but that just doesn't fit together when I consider her past and the rocky relationships she has had. I have read where BPD girls usually hide the signs until they feel 'comfortable'with their partner, but we have gotten comfortable around each other very quickly and I don't see any signs of her changing on me.
For those of you who have dealt with BPD, does this sound familiar at all?