Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Providing for Women

Manure Spherian

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He keeps saying this and he has a great point.
Thanks. As I’ve said, “girlfriend and boyfriend,” to me, is some vague designation of vague situation. Are these people serious life partners? Do they have similar long-term life aims and living together? In that case, I guess we can apply the gf-bf term, but that’s more similar to a marriage, just without a license. That I understand. The rest I believe are in the relationsh-t category, simply two adults screwing each other on borrowed time as there is no serious relationship aim.

As I’ve said elsewhere, what other men do in this area is not my business. My experience and observation tells me that most gf-bf situations are worthless. Hence my hierarchy of relationships stated elsewhere, in order:

1. Family formation/marriage (and yes, I recognize marriage as a social institution in its current form has been thoroughly degraded). Nuclear family that is, with close ties to extended family and in-laws. Alternatively something resembling marriage as described above.
2. MGTOW.
3. Casual sex.
4. Legal escort.
5. Girlfriend.

Personally I’ve gotten deep satisfaction and joy from marriage and children. But if I were a single middle-aged man the above is how I’d look at things. I see few or maybe even no reason why I would commit to a vague scenario with my time, emotion, money, energy, etc.
 

Gamisch

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Thanks. As I’ve said, “girlfriend and boyfriend,” to me, is some vague designation of vague situation. Are these people serious life partners? Do they have similar long-term life aims and living together? In that case, I guess we can apply the gf-bf term, but that’s more similar to a marriage, just without a license. That I understand. The rest I believe are in the relationsh-t category, simply two adults screwing each other on borrowed time as there is no serious relationship aim.

As I’ve said elsewhere, what other men do in this area is not my business. My experience and observation tells me that most gf-bf situations are worthless. Hence my hierarchy of relationships stated elsewhere, in order:

1. Family formation/marriage (and yes, I recognize marriage as a social institution in its current form has been thoroughly degraded). Nuclear family that is, with close ties to extended family and in-laws. Alternatively something resembling marriage as described above.
2. MGTOW.
3. Casual sex.
4. Legal escort.
5. Girlfriend.

Personally I’ve gotten deep satisfaction and joy from marriage and children. But if I were a single middle-aged man the above is how I’d look at things. I see few or maybe even no reason why I would commit to a vague scenario with my time, emotion, money, energy, etc.
Nowadays its women who decide how WE MEN must behave and position ourselves.

And ,as you stated many times before; they want the..thug, badboy, Tyler Durden look a like, millionaire, baller, yet romantic yadiya. Thats why ,as you say , an ICT specialist walks around like he's Pablo himself, gang tats ect ,while he never stole a crumb of bread. (This goes even more for black and Latino men. Such a man will get NADA of he doesn't display some toxic /badboy traits...)

All to appease to women. These men figured out a while ago that their career is basically worthless for the TYPE of women they want and thus adjusted to become a "badboy".

At some point "society " decided that bf/gf is the way to go. And hypothetically its possible to have a ltr where both parties are well secured in the relationship. But simultaneously its worthless.

Its basically a way to keep options open in case a better deal comes along. We as men know at some point that " better" is an illusion. The loyal hb 7/6,5 who supports a man is worth a THOUSAND times more than a hb8 who makes life hard.

But it takes two to tango. We need women to make more sensible and realistic choices as well. Nowadays a hoo with a bodycount in the triple digits is considered "gf material " as soon as SHE decides she is "ready".
 

Gamisch

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Thanks. As I’ve said, “girlfriend and boyfriend,” to me, is some vague designation of vague situation. Are these people serious life partners? Do they have similar long-term life aims and living together? In that case, I guess we can apply the gf-bf term, but that’s more similar to a marriage, just without a license. That I understand. The rest I believe are in the relationsh-t category, simply two adults screwing each other on borrowed time as there is no serious relationship aim.

As I’ve said elsewhere, what other men do in this area is not my business. My experience and observation tells me that most gf-bf situations are worthless. Hence my hierarchy of relationships stated elsewhere, in order:

1. Family formation/marriage (and yes, I recognize marriage as a social institution in its current form has been thoroughly degraded). Nuclear family that is, with close ties to extended family and in-laws. Alternatively something resembling marriage as described above.
2. MGTOW.
3. Casual sex.
4. Legal escort.
5. Girlfriend.

Personally I’ve gotten deep satisfaction and joy from marriage and children. But if I were a single middle-aged man the above is how I’d look at things. I see few or maybe even no reason why I would commit to a vague scenario with my time, emotion, money, energy, etc.

Take a look at my gf,she's the only one I got
Not much of a gf/i never seem to get a lot.
..
 

Manure Spherian

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Manure Spherian

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And ,as you stated many times before; they want the..thug, badboy, Tyler Durden look a like, millionaire, baller, yet romantic yadiya. Thats why ,as you say , an ICT specialist walks around like he's Pablo himself, gang tats ect ,while he never stole a crumb of bread. (This goes even more for black and Latino men. Such a man will get NADA of he doesn't display some toxic /badboy traits...)
I actually don’t blame women for all this ultimately. I blame fathers and entertainment-media people and the educators who thoroughly brainwash them. Anyone who says that young women aren’t highly susceptible to media and impressionable has no idea what he’s talking about. The media is literally the enemy of fatherly authority.
 

logicallefty

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Something we have talked about here on Sosuave in multiple threads. I have not read all the replies in this thread, so somebody might’ve already mentioned this. Basically, you have to always “be busy”, even when you are not. Most of us really are. But even if we aren’t we need to always be busy in her eyes. That way if she does ask us to do something, she knows that we are giving her two of those very last 2 1/2 hours in the week that we had free. Otherwise, we get sucked up in it and get little or nothing in return.
 

Gamisch

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Re: the bolded; not so much it is bullsh1t. It exists, albeit with a short life-span. Women's affection has an end point when it comes to her romantic partners (not with her children, but that is not another story). It is just a matter of where that endpoint lies.

Most women's affection will diminish with each major commitment a man makes to her. Moving in together is the first step of diminishing return for the man. Putting a ring on her finger is the second. And having children is essentially the final nail in the coffin. You then have a background affection slider that continually decreases as time goes on. All of this can essentially be measured in how much sex the man is receiving. As time goes on, the affection/sex becomes less intensive and less frequent despite the man wanting it. Those three commitments will expedite the process tremendously so.

@The Duke is right. A man is probably best served to simply have a bunch of 2-3 year LTRs then exit once it begins to show age. I do, however, agree with you that marriage DOES have a place if the man wants children. Unfortunately, he will be losing out on his wife's affection fairly quickly after said children enter the home space.
I was in hurry but I wanted to say that this post ,especially the first paragraph is fecking GREAT!

You summed it up perfectly , clear to understand in 3 steps. And let those ironically be the steps that most bluepilled men are actually chasing. Because society

And the last sentence words basically the PRICE one might have to pay for achieving the goal of the legacy...your bloodline continues, but you'll lose the bearer of your child.
 

kleathe1

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For a woman it should always be the following priority list:

1. Wife/lover to husband
2. Partner/friend to husband
3. Parent

Why? Because assuming you get married for life, your spouse is the single most important person and relationship in your life. More important than her parents, his parents, more important than the children.

The sexual chemistry and lover interaction between husband and wife is top priority for a reason. That's the glue that keeps you attracted.

Out of that sexual attraction & intimacy grows the partnership & friendship that gets the couple through thick & thin times.

Parenting is the 3rd priority for two very good reasons. First, being a parent should be temporary relative to being a spouse (often now however that is no longer the case.) Secondly, children need to learn what a healthy marriage is supposed to be by observing their parents' connection and commitment to each other.

When parenting/children are given the number 1 priority that creates many problems, and choosing a spouse based on sexual desire as top priority is the best way to keep those priorities straight.
So where do we send money for you to start a school to teach young women this philosophy?
 

Barrister

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I was in hurry but I wanted to say that this post ,especially the first paragraph is fecking GREAT!

You summed it up perfectly , clear to understand in 3 steps. And let those ironically be the steps that most bluepilled men are actually chasing. Because society

And the last sentence words basically the PRICE one might have to pay for achieving the goal of the legacy...your bloodline continues, but you'll lose the bearer of your child.
This is my experience (unfortunately). No matter how much I remain the "leader" or "maintain frame" (two buzz phrases around here that mean more in early stage dating and less in very long term LTRs), there are a lot of elements out of your control when it comes to LTRs and how the woman reacts to you over a very long period of time (2+ years).

However, I wouldn't give my kids up for anything. But I have learned some harsh lessons about women to get them.
 

Gamisch

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This is my experience (unfortunately). No matter how much I remain the "leader" or "maintain frame" (two buzz phrases around here that mean more in early stage dating and less in very long term LTRs), there are a lot of elements out of your control when it comes to LTRs and how the woman reacts to you over a very long period of time (2+ years).

However, I wouldn't give my kids up for anything. But I have learned some harsh lessons about women to get them.
Same here. Learned that the hard way. Sometimes a man picks up a new piece of knowledge but (like me) you've been with the same woman for years, thus " keeping frame" is already long gone.

I'd even say that between those three steps there are more counterintuitive ways to lose frame: when you get her "that thing she always wanted ( new kitchen , car, luxurious vacation, expensive parfum ect). One would think that such a gesture brings the couple closer, but once the relationship already deteriorated ,such a "Good guy Greg" move will only make shyte worse...

Looking back the only possible positive outcome was walking away for good and accepting the L's.
 

Barrister

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Same here. Learned that the hard way. Sometimes a man picks up a new piece of knowledge but (like me) you've been with the same woman for years, thus " keeping frame" is already long gone.

I'd even say that between those three steps there are more counterintuitive ways to lose frame: when you get her "that thing she always wanted ( new kitchen , car, luxurious vacation, expensive parfum ect). One would think that such a gesture brings the couple closer, but once the relationship already deteriorated ,such a "Good guy Greg" move will only make shyte worse...

Looking back the only possible positive outcome was walking away for good and accepting the L's.
Agree. We men are natural "fixers" and want to try to make things work again that aren't working as well or at all. The problem is women aren't wired this way. Your capitulating to her bad behavior to her is your admitting that you were in the wrong. Thus, your "good" deeds are looked at as an admission and her bad behavior was rewarded. This starts that path to the end. Hence why it makes sense to keep things at a distance as Howie mentioned way earlier in this thread.
 

Gamisch

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Agree. We men are natural "fixers" and want to try to make things work again that aren't working as well or at all. The problem is women aren't wired this way. Your capitulating to her bad behavior to her is your admitting that you were in the wrong. Thus, your "good" deeds are looked at as an admission and her bad behavior was rewarded. This starts that path to the end. Hence why it makes sense to keep things at a distance as Howie mentioned way earlier in this thread.
Yeah, and it depends on the woman. No two women will be the same, not even the SAME WOMAN will be the same within the time span of a year.

One woman will scold you for buying flowers, the next will complain you never do that.

Imo its best to be the one who ends things on a high( and even the first signs of relationship deterioration is still being in a " amicable and good "way with her).

To put it bluntly: a lotta time in a relationship with a woman you got to be different persons: the father,friend, lover, teacher, critic, cheerleader, ect. It takes HARD WORK to provide a woman with all she needs, both materialistic and mentally.
 

Divorced w 3

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In my line of work, I am often an approached by females looking for commercial buildings to run a business(nail salon, clothing boutique, etc). There is always extensive remodeling(wiring, plumbing, walls, flooring, painting) that needs to be done to suit the individuals business type. It NEVER fails, this is where the female leans on the husband. Many times I've been standing right there with the husband and wife and the woman always looks towards her husband when these topics come up. You can see the stress/anxiety coming over her. And the guy is always like "just what I wanted to do, more schitt I have to get involved in".

Few of these women will actually try to handle the remodel side. Those that do get stressed out and end up turning it over to their husband.

I'm always left wondering, what does that man get out of all this? A woman that keeps her body fine, doesn't act out, and provides enthusiastic sex when he wants? lol, yeah right. I certainly don't see any of that.

All of this commitment to provide for the female just to keep her long term, is it really worth it?

As I've gotten older, I have quit fixing girlfriends' vehicles if it was anything that would require more than 2hrs of my time. If their level of cooking was equal to my level of automotive skills then I might consider.

I just don't see much fairness in male/female long term relationships and marriages. I see women getting better deals than most men.
The word ‘no’ is the most productive word in the English language. Marriage as a legal partnership makes that husband a 50% equity partner in her venture. Nobody to blame but him if it isn’t handled the way he needs it to be - whether that’s not doing it at all, and telling her that - or arranging through his own labor or that of a contractor to get it done. I don’t see how this is providing for women - I see this as understanding the framework of the contract that both marital parties entered into - and the lack of understanding thereof which is why it’s a 50/50 chance that marriage won’t work.

I am in a similar situation now as my girlfriend and I are talking about next steps and how our lives can blend into a blended family. Not easy, not impossible either, but certainly passionate and full of strong conversations about principles on each end and how to compromise and communicate. I am getting a lot of ‘you’re not compromising, you’re getting everything you want.’ It’s an emotional process. She compromises on what matters though, because it is best for our relationship and what we need together going forward, and she understands why I am laying it out the way I am.

You may recall my thread on this matter over November and December- as soon as the lights turned on for me about defining my role, it became a hell of a lot easier to explain why and have the hard conversations and stay convicted.
 
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Divorced w 3

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I know, as I am sure all of us do, a whole clique of stay at home Lily Pulitzer PTO moms that would dump their husbands in a second and take them over the coals if they dared show an ounce of backbone and did anything other than bring home a lot of money for the family and then run that family around on the weekends to various stuff while she complains how much she is doing ‘organizing’ etc. Find a woman who doesn’t have those values if you don’t want to be in that situation. Fool me once and all that. And btw I am persona non grata at the local PTO now and it’s great.
 
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