"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Potential wife past sexual history

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,629
Reaction score
2,130
Age
42
Location
Europe
After the first big argument an attractive virgin will think that there is something better. In fact many times they have over idealistic views of what a relationship is.

A girl that had one or two guys before you probably dated many losers. Most guys are betas. They know you are better than most. They are often more appreciative than more sheltered girls.
Firstly, if the man is a DJ and the girl is in love with him (has high interest level) there can't be a big argument. Let me give you a funny quote from a Doc Love column to illustrate this:
Hey Doc,
Camilla and I have been together for a year now, and we love each other. We’ve been through hell and back together, and I want to share our story with you.
Hi Crane,
When you’ve been to hell and back with a girl, it means her Interest Level was not up in the 90s all along. And that tells me that you haven’t got “The System” memorized, so you don’t know what the heck you’re doing! In my program, there is no hell; there’s only heaven.
Secondly, that's one big appeal of a virgin, the idealistic view of a relationship...I don't want the jaded, got fvcked over (literally and metaphorically) attitude of a more 'experienced' girl. Thirdly where do you get the idea that a virgin doesn't know that most guys are betas and losers? Why do you think she's 20+ and still a virgin?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Doctor Europeo

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
4,428
Reaction score
4,818
Location
Mexico
Firstly, if the man is a DJ and the girl is in love with him (has high interest level) there can't be a big argument. Let me give you a funny quote from a Doc Love column to illustrate this:

Secondly, that's one big appeal of a virgin, the idealistic view of a relationship...I don't want the jaded, got fvcked over (literally and metaphorically) attitude of a more 'experienced' girl. Thirdly where do you get the idea that a virgin doesn't know that most guys are betas and losers? Why do you think she's 20+ and still a virgin?
I agree with you bro. Ive been with my girl since December and shes not jaded, no fighting, when she´s jealoues she´s adorable about it. I get away with so much stuff its f0cking unbelivable.

Doesnt mean all virgins are like this. Some of them are a f0cking headache like another member said. I believe it was @Pandora if Im not mistaken.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
Firstly, if the man is a DJ and the girl is in love with him (has high interest level) there can't be a big argument. Let me give you a funny quote from a Doc Love column to illustrate this:

Secondly, that's one big appeal of a virgin, the idealistic view of a relationship...I don't want the jaded, got fvcked over (literally and metaphorically) attitude of a more 'experienced' girl. Thirdly where do you get the idea that a virgin doesn't know that most guys are betas and losers? Why do you think she's 20+ and still a virgin?
How many virgins have you actually dated? Or is this all theory? Please be honest.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
I agree with you bro. Ive been with my girl since December and shes not jaded, no fighting, when she´s jealoues she´s adorable about it. I get away with so much stuff its f0cking unbelivable.

Doesnt mean all virgins are like this. Some of them are a f0cking headache like another member said. I believe it was @Pandora if Im not mistaken.
Was your girl a virgin? And you got very lucky she is good one. The OP does not understand that virginity is not a cure. Many virgins are overly clingly head cases too.

Most virgins are just virgins because they are super sheltered introverts. It had nothing to do with them having honor or virtue. The honor and virture was externally enfored.

2 of the virgins I dated were the outcasts in high school. If they were popular they prob would have had sex.
 
Last edited:

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,629
Reaction score
2,130
Age
42
Location
Europe
How many virgins have you actually dated? Or is this all theory? Please be honest.
None recently. Back in high-school but nothing came out of it. But that's not relevant because I'm talking about a logical framework for a serious LTR/marriage. You can't nullify it with a couple bad examples from your experience because I can bring the examples of other users here like Colossus and Serenity who happily married virgins.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
How long/much effort did it take for you to bang your virgins?
The first one I met in a post bacc program. I was 24 and she was still in college at 23. It took me months and months ( about 1 yr). Many dates, long hours on the phone etc.

1.)
She was a 6/10 ( i may put a picture). But man she was stuborn. She could not admit fault. She was very attached to me and wanted to see my ALL THE TIME. She started to gain weight but did not agree that women should go to the gym for their man. She did not agree that she should cook for me before marriage. It was bad. Typical black woman. I cheated on her like crazy.


2.) Also a black girl. Personality disorder IVY league girl. I posted about her here. She was the most high conflict woman ever! Omg. She as a 6.5/10 ....this was the one that was flirting with my cousin. It took me about 2 months to smash after being gf and bf. She wanted to finally lose her virginity.

3.) Russian girl in Russia that I would talk to. She was in a small town. She taught me some Russian. She wanted to lose her virginity. We would video chat and she would send spicy pics ( no nudes). She was a pain and very bad personality.

So virginitiy is just a piece of the pie. They can still be a bytch.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
None recently. Back in high-school but nothing came out of it. But that's not relevant because I'm talking about a logical framework for a serious LTR/marriage. You can't nullify it with a couple bad examples from your experience because I can bring the examples of other users here like Colossus and Serenity who happily married virgins.
Bro so never actually had or dated a virgin. Yet you are steadfast in your position because of logic. Since when did women operate based on logic?
 

Doctor Europeo

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
4,428
Reaction score
4,818
Location
Mexico
3.) Russian girl in Russia that I would talk to. She was in a small town. She taught me some Russian. She wanted to lose her virginity. We would video chat and she would send spicy pics ( no nudes). She was a pain and very bad personality.
Did you went to Russia? Or did she visit you?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
About 4 months. She kept moving away because she was in so much pain. Lots of crying.
Same man. Its a many hours long process. Sometimes it takes a couple days to break that seal. Its an ordeal because of their pain lol.
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
Did you went to Russia? Or did she visit you?
Got my Russian visa, got to the airport. The Ukraine war had just started. Something in my gut told me that this was a stupid move. So I rerouted my flight to Istanbul Turkey. I ended up dating a girl there.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,629
Reaction score
2,130
Age
42
Location
Europe
Bro so never actually had or dated a virgin. Yet you are steadfast in your position because of logic. Since when did women operate based on logic?
It's me that operates on logic.
Regarding your 2 cases: firstly, they're both black women, I have no experience with black women but from what I've read on this forum I gather they're more problematic (more bitchy, masculine etc).
Secondly, spending hours on the phone is bad on your part....you're supposed to be a busy guy (even if just sitting in a chair looking at the wall and meditating). The interaction with the girl should be face 2 face...communication is way better that way, you can get physical etc
Thirdly, the deep character issues you mention in both cases won't suddenly dissapear because they fvck 1 or 2 other guys. C'mon man, isn't that obvious?
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,359
Reaction score
3,322
Age
37
Location
London
I had a bachelors degree by 20, a few post graduates degrees by 25. Relatively succesful job/career. But yeah, I Might have a bunch of mental illness for all I know. Those things are not mutually exclusive.
So why mention it then? It shows you are intelligent (or rather you can memorise books), which gives a higher probability and susceptibility to mental illness. A lot of guys on here are very smart, autistic, and socially inept with mental health issues they refuse to accept (like promiscuous women and their value).
 

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
It's me that operates on logic.
Regarding your 2 cases: firstly, they're both black women, I have no experience with black women but from what I've read on this forum I gather they're more problematic (more bitchy, masculine etc).
Secondly, spending hours on the phone is bad on your part....you're supposed to be a busy guy (even if just sitting in a chair looking at the wall and meditating). The interaction with the girl should be face 2 face...communication is way better that way, you can get physical etc
Thirdly, the deep character issues you mention in both cases won't suddenly dissapear because they fvck 1 or 2 other guys. C'mon man, isn't that obvious?
All healthy girls are virgin. Not all virgins are healthy.

We have to be careful not to overdealize sacred cows such as virgins and foreign women. In my experience both these things come with their own hidden evils. Women are a pain in the azz no matter what.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Pandora

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
3,729
Reaction score
3,565
Age
41
Ok I’m going to expose personal experience here that I maybe shouldn’t.

My first wife was a virgin when we met, she was brought up in a country where this is commonplace, and not out of the ordinary a few decades ago. I had scant sexual experience as I was quite young when we married.

She truly was my first love, like head over heels, deer in the headlights kind of love. We both were youngsters living abroad - the whole world was our oyster.

A few weeks after we finally decided to get married and two weeks before we did we consummated the deal. We’d been doing everything but until that point, but no penetration. We literally learned everything we knew from each other from the beginning. It was actually her during a naked make out session that finally basically thrust her whole body onto me. It was amazing, we both frankly were so astonished by the emotion surrounding it we held each other for a few minutes and kissed until we went at it like jackrabbits. She wasn’t on bc and I was not wrapped.

In the leading weeks to our marriage we fooled around every day, for hours. I learned about the value of have a strong pelvic floor and my pullout game was impeccable, never knocked her up.

It took her a YEAR to finally have her first bonafide PIV only O and it was so overwhelming for her she shook for a good long time. I was so filled with emotion and pride.

We always had sex for more than an hour every single day we were married except when I was deployed. It was just the most magical thing in the world. She became multiply orgasmic over time as well. It was always the one thing that worked for us up until our divorce and for a while thereafter .

Now the other shoe:
We were so young, in our mid 20’s we realized we’d grown into completely different people and were no longer compatible or had the same life goals. It was heartbreaking but we divorced semi-amicably - we never had kids.

So virginity and (if you can pull it off) amazing sex is not panacea it’s not a magic bullet.

She was stunningly beautiful by any standard, submissive and mine, but still it didn’t work.

Find someone you love and someone you love fncking if you want an LTR. Everyone has a past, adjust.
Damn dude this is a deep story. Wow. Its kind of cool that you were able to discover each other sexually. Thats a deep bond.

If you guys did not make it then I dont think there is too much hope for marriage. Btw your post proves my point. Compatibility is superior to virginity. It would be nice to have a compatible virgin but the world is not perfect.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,629
Reaction score
2,130
Age
42
Location
Europe
I thought of another way to put into words the issue I have with past sexual history:
So let's say you meet a 28yrs old girl...she's been with 5 guys since she was 18, so 5 guys in the past 10 years. Now what are the odds she's going to be faithful to you (one guy) for the next 2 years, let alone 20 if you want kids? :rolleyes:

I mean if she's the type that's 'learning, growing, discovering, reinventing herself' and all the other euphemisms for what essentially is lack of loyalty and/or discernment when entering a relationship, then it makes no logical sense to me to want to marry such a girl and expect a happy life together.
 

pipeman84

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2022
Messages
1,629
Reaction score
2,130
Age
42
Location
Europe
Some guys have made the argument in this thread and others on SS that a virgin will get bored/curious and will want to explore how it is with other guys. So according to them, it's better to get an 'experienced' woman who has had at least a few guys and got curiosity out of her system. Well, my counter argument has been that hoes gonna hoe. Once she's proven she lacks loyalty by having multiple relationships or sex partners, but you expect it to go the distance with you, that's naive thinking IMO.

Kissa Sins got bored of Johnny Sins after 3 years and wanted new dyck, therefore started shooting porn with new guys. I know that this might be an extreme example to prove my point, but nevertheless.
1:54 - 2:35
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top