Possible study buddy situation with potential

[Georgiaboy]

Hi, all!
This is actually my first time posting on this site (or any really) so I'll just get right to it. There is this girl who's in one of my science courses who figured out that I made a really good grade on our latest test. She has already smiled at me before this in lab like the day I got my new haircut so I feel like she thinks I am attractive. When she found out that I made a good grade she got really excited and starting asking me to help her and immediately wanted my number and I gave it to her. After we had a pretty good conversation she ended it with "so yeah we should hangout and do uh...physics together!" and was very smiley about it. She also was like "and in return, I could maybe give you my biology notes?" She's been texting me a bit since and not in like a real professional "we're just going to be studying together and that's it" way either.

So really my question is what is the best way to hopefully escalate me possibly being fwb AND study buddies with this girl? I was thinking that I could possibly bring up her whole "in return offer" and be like "actually in return how about you let me take you on a date?". I'm not too sure about that though...maybe I should just study with her and see where stuff goes? The thing about that is that usually when I just have great conversations with a girl and it's really fun and I don't stress out about making a move on her it doesn't pan out that well. It almost always ends up in the friend zone. So I would really like some tips on how to NOT end up there this time. We will probably study for the first time Saturday so hopefully you guys respond quickly!

 

[SgtSplacker]

Never negotiate affections or attention with a girl. If she wants to chill with you like that it needs to come from a position of genuine appreciation or not at all. You sound young so this is when you start to practice teasing and flirting tastefully. By tastefully I mean in such a way as to not seem too desperate or by putting yourself "out there" too much.

You do not have to be ashamed of your sexual intentions with her. You need to be open and comfortable with your sexuality with her. When you go chill wear something nice, be well groomed. If for example she is wearing something revealing and she exposes herself to you a bit by bending over or something, say something to her about it don't be shy. She bends over? "Hey don't expose yourself to me like that i'm trying to concentrate over here and the view is very... appealing!" See what I did there? I told her she is turning me on, and told her to stop at the same time. This is how you come on to her in such a way you are not just begging for sex. And don't just stop there, keep the convo sexual because after all she started it right? Ask her how big here tits are or something. Start planting seeds of interest. If she answers you gauge her disposition to sex by what she says. If she answers say "OK stop talking to me about your tits and get back to studying, FOCUS! geez!" See whats going on here? You are creating a sexual situation and at the same time maintaining the assumption that you are trying to avoid the whole thing. You are reinforcing your authority in the situation, taking control.

Of course you are not trying to avoid it and she is going to know that. You are not really fooling anyone, but the game is fun for some girls. Keep it going and if she seems to not be responding then you know if she is willing or not and you didn't even have to plan some uber lame arse date with a dry vag thus letting her know before hand you are interested in her. Learn how to pace these interactions, now is when you practice this stuff.

I hate using the word "date" man. All it does is imply you are romantically interested in her and that some boring dinner is coming. All the implied preparations and tension will dry up any hole not thinking about your bank account. The objective is to spend time together and studying is a great excuse in my opinion. Only down side is that she is serving her own self interests by wanting to study with you so you never know if she is just flirting with you to gain access to your brain or not. Either way always flirt and try to escalate in ways that are not cheesy.

And if she is not on board, stop taking her calls or just be busy all the time. Tell her you are going on a real study date and make her jealous, then try to lock her down again next exam or whatever.

 

[Arcturus]

Don't go out of your way with tips and strategies, you are going to make yourself nervous, come across as needy and get your head all clouded with too many thoughts. You NEED to be yourself and keep it simple, fun and relaxed. Just be chill with her, and yourself, she already seems to like you, so keep being you. If you can slide in some flirting and kino, such as touching her arm or shoulder, go for it, but don't make it some sort of mission, that you get hung up on while shes over. The key here isn't the study time, do some actual studying, you get her after you're done studying. "Oh hey my buddies are going to this awesome place after, oh my god you need to meet this girl Susan she's your twin from another dimension, you two have the exact same mannerisms and humor, lets grab some drinks after." (or if you have an actual event to take her to, that's even better) "oh hey they couldn't make it out tonight, but we're already at this bar (or whatever), now you escalate the flirting and kino and finally bring her back to your place, as shes already been there once and is comfortable with it. Then try and close the deal.

 

[Georgiaboy]

I hate using the word "date" man. All it does is imply you are romantically interested in her and that some boring dinner is coming. All the implied preparations and tension will dry up any hole not thinking about your bank account. The objective is to spend time together and studying is a great excuse in my opinion. Only down side is that she is serving her own self interests by wanting to study with you so you never know if she is just flirting with you to gain access to your brain or not. Either way always flirt and try to escalate in ways that are not cheesy.

And if she is not on board, stop taking her calls or just be busy all the time. Tell her you are going on a real study date and make her jealous, then try to lock her down again next exam or whatever.

Thanks for the great advice bro! I will definitely try some of this. And yeah I took a girl out a few weeks ago and It didn't really turn out how I wanted at all, just a waste of cash. The girl was very classy and everything but I really am starting to think that going on real dates is pretty much dead.

 

[Georgiaboy]

now you escalate the flirting and kino and finally bring her back to your place, as shes already been there once and is comfortable with it. Then try and close the deal.

thanks for the great advice bro! We actually haven't decided on where we're studying but it'll probably be the library on campus so she probably will not have been to my room yet.

 

[Georgiaboy]

She's proving difficult to get alone, ugh. She's a self-professed "hermit" so I don't know how to get her out of the house.

 

[dustmuffin]

She's proving difficult to get alone, ugh. She's a self-professed "hermit" so I don't know how to get her out of the house.

Ask her on a date. If she won't go then she just wants to use you for your smarts. No date.....no escalation.....no study dates

 

[marmel75]

She's proving difficult to get alone, ugh. She's a self-professed "hermit" so I don't know how to get her out of the house.

Low interest. A chick who is interested would use ANY excuse to spend time around you.