logicallefty
Moderator
After discussion in another thread, I decided to fire off this survey to see where we are:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
See.... even women come to SS because of a BPD.....amazing.I answered the survey that Yes I'm a chick...but that isn't what brought me here.
What brought me here was searching about BPD because approximately a year after my divorce I dated a man LDR for 18 months whose ex wife was diagnosed with BPD...and the things she put him and their children through were horrific...so I stumbled in here because I found a BPD thread in an effort to learn more about the condition and about his situation and how that related to his life as I offered him emotional and moral support in a rough time.
I stayed because I like the DJ and MM community here at SS, you guys are cool...and to offer a female perspective where I think it might be useful or informative. I also like the Wealth & Success forum and like to both read and contribute there to learn and also to benefit others by what I have learned through experience.
I get that SS is a proactive male space and I respect that. I wish more of the general male population knew the maxims taught here as I think the philosophy here has value to society in general and SS is a pretty balanced/straight-up place relative to other outposts in the manosphere.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I'm always amazed (and a little envious) when guys talk about how this place had such a large impact on their lives. I had a pretty realistic view of women when I came here, so I've never had that big transformation. Not because I'm so smart or anything, it's just because of the age I was when I got here.This site got me out of the blue pill world so I owe it to the next group of guys.
Awesome what happened to the GF?I had a girlfriend when I came here, so I wasn't looking to learn how to get women. My interest in coming here was in being more attractive to women in general - especially since I was approaching my 49th birthday, and the prospect of turning 50 had me somewhat concerned. I had a self identity as "cool older guy", but I was afraid that was about to become simply "old guy". Turns out I got over it on my own. It was just a phase, you learn to adapt or you quit living. The truth is I just accept that there is more of that "old guy" in me.
I've stayed mainly for entertainment, because I like the board, I think the subject matter is fascinating, and I find some of the posters experiences to be motivating.
Still with her, we've been cohabitating for about 14 years.Awesome what happened to the GF?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.