logicallefty
Moderator
After discussion in another thread, I decided to fire off this survey to see where we are:
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
See.... even women come to SS because of a BPD.....amazing.I answered the survey that Yes I'm a chick...but that isn't what brought me here.
What brought me here was searching about BPD because approximately a year after my divorce I dated a man LDR for 18 months whose ex wife was diagnosed with BPD...and the things she put him and their children through were horrific...so I stumbled in here because I found a BPD thread in an effort to learn more about the condition and about his situation and how that related to his life as I offered him emotional and moral support in a rough time.
I stayed because I like the DJ and MM community here at SS, you guys are cool...and to offer a female perspective where I think it might be useful or informative. I also like the Wealth & Success forum and like to both read and contribute there to learn and also to benefit others by what I have learned through experience.
I get that SS is a proactive male space and I respect that. I wish more of the general male population knew the maxims taught here as I think the philosophy here has value to society in general and SS is a pretty balanced/straight-up place relative to other outposts in the manosphere.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I'm always amazed (and a little envious) when guys talk about how this place had such a large impact on their lives. I had a pretty realistic view of women when I came here, so I've never had that big transformation. Not because I'm so smart or anything, it's just because of the age I was when I got here.This site got me out of the blue pill world so I owe it to the next group of guys.
Awesome what happened to the GF?I had a girlfriend when I came here, so I wasn't looking to learn how to get women. My interest in coming here was in being more attractive to women in general - especially since I was approaching my 49th birthday, and the prospect of turning 50 had me somewhat concerned. I had a self identity as "cool older guy", but I was afraid that was about to become simply "old guy". Turns out I got over it on my own. It was just a phase, you learn to adapt or you quit living. The truth is I just accept that there is more of that "old guy" in me.
I've stayed mainly for entertainment, because I like the board, I think the subject matter is fascinating, and I find some of the posters experiences to be motivating.
Still with her, we've been cohabitating for about 14 years.Awesome what happened to the GF?
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.