logicallefty
Moderator
After discussion in another thread, I decided to fire off this survey to see where we are:
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
See.... even women come to SS because of a BPD.....amazing.I answered the survey that Yes I'm a chick...but that isn't what brought me here.
What brought me here was searching about BPD because approximately a year after my divorce I dated a man LDR for 18 months whose ex wife was diagnosed with BPD...and the things she put him and their children through were horrific...so I stumbled in here because I found a BPD thread in an effort to learn more about the condition and about his situation and how that related to his life as I offered him emotional and moral support in a rough time.
I stayed because I like the DJ and MM community here at SS, you guys are cool...and to offer a female perspective where I think it might be useful or informative. I also like the Wealth & Success forum and like to both read and contribute there to learn and also to benefit others by what I have learned through experience.
I get that SS is a proactive male space and I respect that. I wish more of the general male population knew the maxims taught here as I think the philosophy here has value to society in general and SS is a pretty balanced/straight-up place relative to other outposts in the manosphere.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
I'm always amazed (and a little envious) when guys talk about how this place had such a large impact on their lives. I had a pretty realistic view of women when I came here, so I've never had that big transformation. Not because I'm so smart or anything, it's just because of the age I was when I got here.This site got me out of the blue pill world so I owe it to the next group of guys.
Awesome what happened to the GF?I had a girlfriend when I came here, so I wasn't looking to learn how to get women. My interest in coming here was in being more attractive to women in general - especially since I was approaching my 49th birthday, and the prospect of turning 50 had me somewhat concerned. I had a self identity as "cool older guy", but I was afraid that was about to become simply "old guy". Turns out I got over it on my own. It was just a phase, you learn to adapt or you quit living. The truth is I just accept that there is more of that "old guy" in me.
I've stayed mainly for entertainment, because I like the board, I think the subject matter is fascinating, and I find some of the posters experiences to be motivating.
Still with her, we've been cohabitating for about 14 years.Awesome what happened to the GF?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.